Confrontation: A double-edged sword

[Krazeehorse]

When I'm rational and not emotional (99% of the time) I ask myself this question before I act:
What do I have to gain and what do I have to lose?

 

[rainbowbob]

If someone cuts in line, or is rude to a clerk at Walmart, I don't believe that a "reasonable man" would assume that correcting the offender would automatically end in a "throw down".

Not "automatically" - but possibly. And if it does - what have you gained? Even if it doesn't - what have you gained?

Does anyone here really think anything they say to a miscreant will change his personality and behavior? Think again.

Perhaps you should examine your motives for correcting others in public. I know I am after a recent incident. Is the objective to make a more civil society? To correct someone's attitude? To obtain justice for all?

Fuggedaboudit! Aint gonna happen!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Get out of his crappy life and on with your own blessed ones.

 

[Duke of Doubt]

It's asking for trouble, appointing yourself the manners police, particularly when armed. But I've found that, even though I'm not an intimidating guy, I can flash a look and sometimes slow things down without saying a word. Not because of any intimidation of which I'm probably incapable, but because despite being a fairly young man at 39, I can get away with an "old school" pose. It's more a "okay, kids; let's get back in the groove" look; I'm amiable and well-liked enough for that sort of pose. Not even confrontational or contemptuous in the least. It does work.

 

[expvideo]

I think the OP has a very good point.

 

[Rockwell1]

Ultimately I don’t think anyone likes to be told they’re wrong. I especially think this is true when the person telling them is a stranger. When I made the flag correction (sorry I don’t consider disrespect to our Colors to be minor) the person I spoke to made his feelings very clear on the subject “ Who the FRAK are you to tell me how to handle the flag!?” And that seems to be the attitude people take when someone they don’t know attempts to correct their behavior. Knowing that, why should I invite myself into the middle of their situation?

People seem to me to be much more defensive these days and much more willing to go on the attack (metaphorically speaking) to defend their space and their “right to be rude”. Bullying people to get what you want seems to be becoming the norm. Case in point the wife and I were leaving our local Wal-Mart last weekend and walked right into an altercation. I don’t know who started it I don’t know what it was about all I know is that a former co-worker of mine (72 inches plus over 225# and in good shape) was towering over some early twenty-something (60inches maybe and < 200#) screaming at the top of his lungs and daring the guy to “call the fraking cops see what it gets you”( Ishould also note that all the witnesses seemed to be in a state of shock) Somebody taught him that that behavior was acceptable. Just like somebody taught flag man and the transcriptionist that they way to get what you want was to throw a temper tantrum. Do you really suppose that stepping in at this late date and saying “Pardon me good sir, but your demeanor is deplorable and I would ask that you modulate your tone” is really going to change their outlook on life?

I think the best you can hope for in that situation is that the person might realize that you can’t be bullied and back down but they aren’t going to change their overall behavior because of you and it won’t make society better. Worst case obviously, now you’ve got a “situation” on your hands and there’s a gun in the mix.

Call me a coward I choose not to take that risk

 

[MachIVshooter]

I was a little rude to someone I normally would never have snapped at because I was in quite a bit of pain. Did they deserve it? Yes, but normally I never would have done it.

I don't just blunder into a situation. You didn't offer specifics, but since you say the other individual did, in fact, deserve it, then I have to imagine that would have been noted and I would not have said a thing. I'm pretty perceptive, and can tell the difference between someone who's become irritated by another, and someone who's just an a**hole. We're not talking about the same situation here. And if I did feel inclined to call someone on their behavior, but was unsure the circumstances that led to it, I would likely preface any sort of chastising by asking what the problem was.

Would you say something to the jerk if you wernt and had never had a CCW??

Makes no difference. To that end, my philosophy on CCW is a bit different than most. I am really not concerned with my personal safety regarding assault, mugging, etc. I'm not an ideal target, and I can handle myself just fine. I carry for the event that I need to control any aspect of a situation that would not be controllable without one, such as being present during a violent armed robbery. I view it more as a civic responsibility. But we'll save that discussion for another thread.

This is still a semi-free country. Rude and inexcusable behavior is legal in most places.

As is telling someone that you disapprove of their behavior. We're not debating the legality.

If someone cuts in line, or is rude to a clerk at Walmart, I don't believe that a "reasonable man" would assume that correcting the offender would automatically end in a "throw down".

Not "automatically" - but possibly. And if it does - what have you gained? Even if it doesn't - what have you gained?

Respect and appreciation from the person subjected to the bad behavior.

 

[rainbowbob]

...what have you gained?

Respect and appreciation from the person subjected to the bad behavior.

Yeah...maybe. Or maybe they think you're both a couple of jerks. Either way, I'm not risking the possibility of having to draw my firearm on a hot-head as a result of a desire to garner respect and appreciation from others. The stakes are too high - and the potential reward does not justify it.