Convincing Family Members

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rabblerabble101

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Wasn't exactly sure where to put this so i decided on general forums, so feel free to move it as needed.

Anyways, my story starts out today as me and my parents drove down to Charlotte, NC to go to a mall down there. While shopping, I talk them into going to the Bass Pro Shop and proceed to go directly to the gun section. I show them a nice .22lr and a mossberg 500 that I would like to get once i turn 18 (am currently 17), and a really nice S&W .40. Anyways we get to talking and the jist of the conversation was I said I would like to eventually start buying some guns for self defense/hunting and my mom said that the second I get a gun I am most likely going to shoot/kill someone, and then will go to jail for the rest of my life (I have several pellet rifles and have been very responsible with them, so there really is no need for her to think I would shoot someone as soon as I got a gun), and that I am never allowed to have a gun in my parents house.

Long story short, I was wondering if anyone knew any effective ways of perssuading family members from being anti-gun to pro-gun.

Also on a side note, i was talking to a firearms salesman at Brass Pro Shop and he said that I could go to a sherrif, get a permit, and buy a gun all in the same day with no background check needed. I gave him a funny look but since I am not really that knowledgeable about NC laws, I was wondering if that is how buying a gun in NC really works or if he was misinformed.
 
I believe you can buy a long gun at 18yo, without a permit, but you must pass the Nics check. If you wanted a handgun, you will need one of two things, in addition to being 21...

- A pistol purchase permit (apply for one at the sherrif's office, for each pistol you buy) or ...
-Concealed weapons permit (which negates the need for a purchase permit, and supercedes the Nics check).

By the way, if you're close to Raleigh, I can understand you parent's mindset. The 'liberal New yorker transplant disease' is infecting the research triangle, and greater NC to a lesser, but gaining degree.
 
I think one of the problems is that people only see guns used by criminals. A lot of people never see a responsible gun owner and do not realize that 99.999% of guns are used safely and responsibly. Most of us that carry concealed are not good at showing the general public that guns are safe because we keep them hidden and nobody knows that responsbile gun owners are among them.

A mother may be hard to convince. Maybe she remembers the Johnny Cash song "Don't take your guns to town, son, don't take your guns to town..."

Taking some training classes may help convince your mom that you are learning to be responsible.

Actually, you have plenty of time as far as a handgun since I do not believe you can purchase or own one until you are 21.

Good luck.

Ken
 
Just_a_dude_with_a_gun - We are about an hour West of Raleigh and an hour North of Charlotte (in a semi-large city named Greensboro).

Standing Wolf - I am quite aware my mom is wrong (I think she has watched too many movies and thinks only criminals and idiots have guns :rolleyes: )

Thanks for the advice guys! I think I might take some classes once I get closer to being 18. Also, do i need a permit to buy either a .22 or a shotgun when I turn 18? If so, how does one generally go about getting a permit? And how long does the Nics check take before I can actually purchase a gun?

Also, I was wondering how hard would it be to get a CCW permit for a handgun once i reach 21?

Once again, thanks a bunch for such quick replys :)
 
The Purchase Permit is only for Handguns. For long guns you just need to pass the NICS check at the dealer, should only take a few minutes.

CCW is easy enough to get. Take the approved NC class/range qualification, fill out the application, get fingerprinted and after they finish the background check you get your permit, they have up to 90 days to do the background check. Hardest part is waiting for them to call you to come pick it up.

http://www.jus.state.nc.us/NCJA/ncfirearmslaws.pdf
 
Well, they used to tell you that a BB gun would put your eye out!

... that is just a logical extension of the BB gun curse.

Start with a .22 and take them shooting. They'll probably have fun.

My son works part time at a range here in San Diego and guys
your age do it all the time.

Parents are never too old to be educated ... if they will allow it.:)
 
Also, I was wondering if I had to go through any additional steps if I were to purchase a gun online and have it shipped to a FFL near me.
 
rabblerabble101,

One cannot change people, places or things - the only person they can change, is themselves.

Convince?

Personally, I would not do squat to "convince".

In your situation living under parent's roof , hate to say this, but you are under their "jurisdiction" not only as they are your parents, also due to enacted laws.

Go here to find information and links : http://www.handgunlaw.us/

I would also find out all about legislations for your age [17] upon turning 18 and later age 21.

Me? I'd shut up and be dumb as a brick around parents and anti family. I would get training to stay safe using the legal means afforded me at this age. Martial arts for example.

Oh, don't get into swords and edged weapons talk either. If laws allow a knife and it has a clip -

- "clip keeps knife from wearing hole in my pocket"
-"yes it opens and closed one-handed, some safey officers in corp business have rule like OSHA, stating the knife needs to lock to prevent injuries to user"
- real safe being able to have one hand holding a box, and being able to access a knife, use it safely and close it, and put it back up"

Low profile and be dumb as a brick. Don't advertise anything to get attention.

Martial Arts "alleviates stress from school studies, allowing me to get excercise, instills discipline which translates to better time mgmt on my studies"




If you push this - "trying to convince" - you will give parents and anti family ammuntion to use against you.

Called "control and manipulation", "mental abuse" and some other non-psych terms that I can't type because Art's Grammaw keeps a soapy wash cloth handy around here.

Folks will use this when making decisions on school subjects, where to attend college, friends you hang out with, girlfriends...

"well them guns is why we were late getting tuition paid, had us all upset, if you get rid of guns maybe next semester we will have College tuition paid on time"

You think I am kidding? Hell no! I have been right there while this and similar conversations were exhanged via in person, phone, email or letter.

Screw 'em, put up with what you have to do - in order to do the "right thing". Work on solutions YOU DO have that are legal and still allows you to do the "right thing" around them and under their roof.

Got a Pro-Gun Uncle, Aunt? Hang with them and learn from Pro-RKBA and such. These folks, and like minded folks will be your Mentors.

They will also "shut up" and "not argue with your parents. Why waste energies when same energies can be used to assist and pass forward what we believe in?


Hey, I fired my family too many years ago. I told them they get hurt, raped, injured, dead....don't call me.
Call 911 or something.

Oh, I ain't gonna attend a funeral for them either.

I have buried many folks pro Freedom and RKBA, and I will attend funerals and memorials for others as well...

Anti's ? Nah, I hear the worms even sick de-composing them folks...

What guns?

Don't know 'nuttin' about guns...

;)
 
As soon as you figure out a way, let me know!

My parents are ex-hippies.

Speaking as a former anti, I can telll you: it's easier to change someone's religion.

I figured out "The Truth" on my own. You can't convince anyone that Jesus, G-d, Buddha, Allah, or Mohammed is The One with argument. Same with the whole "Gun" thing. You just lay out the facts, feelings and arguments for them to read on their own time, and hopefully they'll see "the Light".
 
It depends on the situation. My parents weren't really pro or anti-gun until I became interested in them. They were just kind of neutral. Now they are basically very progun compared to the average person, although not as much so as those on this board.
 
Packing.org is your friend.

21 is the magic age for all things handgun in NC.

Regarding parental attitudes, as long as it is their house and their money it is their call AS IRRATIONAL, ILLOGICAL, AND NONSENSICAL AS IT IS. Deeply imbeded beliefs won't change with a trip to Bass. It is quite reasonable for you to call into question some of your parents assumptions as long as you deal in fact and refuse to be baited into arguing. Use the time you have between now and when you turn 18 // 21 // go to // graduate college to get smart.

Hang around THR and use the search button. There is a wealth of information available at no charge.
 
I was in this situation once, and it was pretty easy to deal with. When Mom said something about not letting buy any guns while I lived under her roof, I told her its not just her roof, I payed my way, and my rent was the only way she could afford the house. The guns come, or I go. That was the end of it.

I wouldnt suggest that approach unless your parents are depentant on you to make ends meet.

Different counties take different approaches when it comes to purchase permits, but its normally a 5 day wait. With a concealed handgun permit, you dont have to have the purchase permit.

Rifles and shotguns are called into NICS. No permit needed. No NICS call with a CHP.
 
Just wait until you move out on your own. In the meantime, while living with your parents, just respect them and their rules.

When I was first considering getting a gun, my dad was indifferent, but my mom didnt like the idea. Neither of them grew up with firearms, so they initially didnt feel comfortable with them.

Over time, I bought many guns, and about a year ago I invited my dad to the range to shoot pistols. Needless to say, my dad was no longer indifferent about firearms. In no time, he was online researching and looking at different handguns. He decided he wanted a revolver, so he was leaning toward Ruger and S&W due to their solid reputations.

He ended up finding a brand new Ruger GP-100 .357 magnum, with 4" barrel. He was really turned on by the fact that he could shoot alot .38 special rounds at the range because of the low recoil, but then could load up some .357 magnum rounds for when its in the nightstand.

I still am working on him to come out to the range to shoot clay. I'm sure once that happens, he'll be in the market for a nice shotgun... :)
 
I bought my first pistol the day after my 21st birthday. My mom felt the same way. Funny thing was that gun went into that house every day I went to college and it's never crawled away and kilt anyone to this day. And I have yet to grace the grey bar motel with my tender white *ss...
You turn 21, you buy what you want, and store it safe. Then one day when she lays into you, just casually mention that you've owned a gun for XX years and so far nothing's happened yet. Be prepared to find an apartment pretty quick soonafter if she don't come around.
 
That's what we call a "typical mom comment." Don't get bent out of shape by it, mothers everywhere do it. Mine still asks me if any of my firearms might be "leaking bullets", as though they were sweating sticks of dynamite waiting for the slightest jolt to go off. By now it's a joke, but more than half serious... like the age old motherly advice to wear clean underwear, drive safely, avoid poisonous reptiles, motorcycles, etc, etc, etc. Live responsibly, enjoy shooting however you can (pellet and BB guns are a blast) and realize your mom isn't trying to hurt your feelings or saying she thinks you are irresponsible, she's just being a mom. Soon enough, you'll be doing your own thing.
 
As long as you live under your parents roof you should abide by their rules. You have been responsible with the pellet guns, and more than likely you will do fine with the long guns. Like previous posts said your mom was having a "mom moment", don't worry about it too much.

Start saving your money and buy your own guns, with their permission, as long as you live under their roof.
 
CTD99 isabsolutely right. As long as you are living under her roof, you abide by her rules. In the mean time, go to college, get your degree, and save your money. Don't push it in her face all the time, she will just become more adament in her stance against guns. Behave responsibly and if you have any uncles or aunts that are pro gun, go shooting with them and try to get mom to go along with you when you do. Showing her that you can be resposible and safe, and how much FUN it is, can help bring her around to your point of view. Good luck.
 
Don't bother trying to convince them. It won't work unless they're already receptive. When you are old enough to legally own a gun and can scrape together the cash just quietly buy one. Only tell your family if they have a "need to know".
 
move out and buy a rifle or shotgun the day you turn 18 ;)

don't tell me you can't afford it, go get a pt job now

and pay your own way through college, if that's what you want to do

free money is just too expensive :uhoh:
 
Went through the same crap with my family 40 years ago.
Don't even try to convert them.
Do your thing and forget what they say.
I once came home on leave and my mom as all good mom's do unpacked my stuff to wash everything in sight. She found my 1911 and sort of freaked. She was all in my face with the "what do you need a gun for"? My answer was "it keeps me alive" She never said another word. But the rest of the family ohh God. all liberal Dems from NYC.

AFS
 
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