Hi Vertical
I'm going to take a somewhat different tack and talk about how you should shoot instead of what you should shoot. Any of the above suggestions for a .243/6.5/7mm/.308 will work, but all will give you an unpleasant shooting session depending on HOW you shoot.
When shooting from a bench, you'll see most shooters leaning over the table, with their body oriented toward the target. This position guarranties your shoulder absorbing the most possible recoil. Try to position your body more vertically so that your shoulder can sway backwards with the shot, thus swinging back with the breeze, so to speak. Try kneeling instead of sitting, and standing is even better.
When you buy your rifle, buy one with a ventilated rubber recoil pad already installed. If your rifle doesn't have one, you or a gunsmith can put one on. A DIY pad will only cost you 20-25$. Wearing a shooting vest with a built-in pad helps more. Finally, when shooting, use very good hearing protection. For a loud center-fire rifle, both ear plugs and a pair of ear muffs isn't too much protection. You can practice your basic shooting technique with a .22, then work your way up to the hunting rifle with practice.
What I can promise you though, is once you have that deer in your sights and you pull that trigger, recoil is the very last thing you will notice.
