I'd like to know why she "effing freaked". After the smoke clears, I'd like to know what she was exactly freaking about. Was it touching the gun? Was it she wasn't expecting to see the gun in there? Was she concerned about one of the kids getting it? There are a lot of different variables.
As for apologizing. If I'm in the wrong for something, or I've somehow harmed you, I'm going to do my best to clean it up. As a side note, I've also learned it's best to find out what I'm apologizing for rather than issue a "I'm tired of being in hot water apology".
With the situation you mentioned earlier, I think communication sounds like an answer for both. Did you have to tell her it was in there? No. Would it have hurt? No. Good can always be the enemy of the best. If it were me, at some point I'd want to sit down with my wife and find out where the rub is, so a future plan can be implemented so both parties walk away happy.
