Ethically what should I do?

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As a senior citizen I would be somewhat insulted for someone not
accept my giving gesture. I bet she put a lot of thought into it and
she seems to have chosen you for a reason. Respect her wishes and
feel no guilt. And, get off her lawn !
 
Of what I've read, I agree with everyone. Let it be as she wishes. But definently be willing to give her a hand with anything around the house.

And don't forget her in 4 months when Christmas starts rolling around. I'd say you owe her a very nice (and thoughtful) gift.

Wyman
 
Make that gift a gift card or something - or even a "Certificate for XYZ". In her older years, Mom often despaired of what to do with all the "things" she got for Christmas - they became more of a hindrance! She loved the movies and shopping, so we got her gift cards, and she loved it.
 
I agree with most of the things already said. I wouldn't offer her any additional cash, though. I agree with the helping-hand suggestions.

Now that you've cleaned up the guns and made them look like new, invite her over and show them to her. She will be thrilled to see what you've done with them.

I'd also have a friend take a picture of you firing one of the guns at a range, frame it, and give it to her. Make sure you have a big fat (genuine) smile on your face in the picture so she can see exactly how happy her gift has made you.
 
Sometime it is hard for persons to understand. That giving to others and expecting nothing in return. Has personal great rewards. I am sure in addition to the money you gave there is GREAT satifiction in her heart.
Sometimes we have to learn how to receive graciously. By receiving graciously you are giving to her untold things.

If there is a moral or karma learn it and pass it forward.:)
 
Let her do what she wants to do with her own stuff and stop arguing with her.

But remember it when the leaves start to pile up in her yard, or the driveway needs shoveling, or she needs someone to watch the cat for a weekend...
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Agreed.

Give her what she wants ($$$).

But be the best neighbor -- friend -- you can be to her!
 
Like others have said, say thank you and you now have a second lawn to mow. ;)
 
Why do some people have such a hard time accepting gifts and kindness in return for friendship? It's not always about the money. There is NO ethical question here, just you're inability to be on the receiving end of someone's generosity. Why do you feel like you're ripping her off?
 
I'm with the majority. The lady obviously wanted you to have them in return for your friendship and kindness. You handled it the right way.
 
What an uplifting story!

You did all the right things, madcratebuilder so feel no guilt. As everyone else said just be a good neighbor to her. At her age most of her friends are gone and sadly family usually doesn't come around as often as they should. You're probably closer to her than anyone else so be kind to her, make sure she knows to call you if she needs help and make sure she eats well. And if she balks, tell her how much you appreciate the gift and that you're just wanting to help in ways that you can.

Somebody quoted the Koran above and I remember a passage in one of my favorite books "A Town Like Alice" where it's said that in the Koran that "God has a special place in heaven for men who are kind to women and children." (Something to that effect...) Well I believe that's true.
 
one of my favorite books "A Town Like Alice"
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An excellent book, and you are quite correct about the reference. Jean Paget, what a character. Nice to hear from a fellow Shutist here!

Why do some people have such a hard time accepting gifts and kindness in return for friendship? It's not always about the money. There is NO ethical question here, just you're inability to be on the receiving end of someone's generosity.
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That's a bit harsh.
 
You and she are looking at this from different perspectives and attaching different sets of values to the interchange. Essentially, she wants you to HAVE her husband's guns and you want to BUY them. You feel guilty because she didn't SELL them for enough MONEY because that's the scale of value you most often use when dealing with guns. but to her it's not about money at all: She has passed things her husband valued on to a nice person who can appreciate them. What she wants is not to SELL the guns, but to place them in a good HOME. I think she's done quite well in that regard. I don't think she could have gotten a better deal.
 
I suppose the problem arises because she asked for $50 apiece rather than making an outright gift. But there were two separate transactions: the handguns (for which the o/p paid $500, i.e. 2X the asking price) and the rifles (given as an outright gift). And FWIW I don't think that the $500 paid for the handguns was ridiculously low.
 
I'm nearing that age ... well a few years off. But I am in a position where, with full presence of mind, I have done things wildly generous to someone who has been unusually nice or kind or done something thoughtful for me which I had no right to expect.

You probably don't appreciate how important it can be to her be to be able to do something like that; to give a huge thanks in what she hopes is a meaningful way. And yes, your expression of appreciation is, IMHO, just perfect so far. You really helped her understand how much you appreciate her generosity, how much the gift means to you and that you are genuinely appreciative for her generosity.

Now you must be careful to not go any further and spoil it for her and possibly for yourself. Sometimes what goes around comes around. With grace, which you have displayed, let "Karma" work as it will. Continue to be attentive to her and her needs ... in other words, but the "nice you" that she sees and admires. You'll never regret it.

You need to understand ... this is not about money.

And, someday, find a way to "pay it forward". Only then will the gift be complete.
 
madcratebuilder

I think you've been a great friend and neighbor to this sweet Lady. Accept the gift as it was intended. I too have a hard time accepting gifts. As a matter of fact.....

A member here, who I have never met, helped me at a time when I was down hard. So hard I didn't think I would ever get out of it. I was selling prized guns for food money. His selfless gift was hard to accept, but, I have since recovered and forwarded his generosity several times. I'm surprised that most people have a hard time accepting genuine generosity. It bespeaks of good character of you both.
 
well as I've been getting older, I've been thinking about what to do with my guns before I die or what to put in my will..... and I intend to give them to people who will really use and enjoy them.....

So enjoy what she is giving to you.
 
I know of Widows dumping guns in the Trash etc. (If I'd have known aboout it at the time I'd of went Dumpster diving --a fairly decent luger collection).

She may just want the guns out of the house and she likes you so her problem was solved.

Unless there is a reason for you to feel guilty I think I'd just enjoy the gift and treat my neighbor well.
 
My neighbor lady is in her late eighties. I have always taken time to talk with her, helped her a few times with little things over the past ten years or so
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Her way of thanking you. Just keep being the same good person you have been to her. She regards you as a friend. Honor her wishes.
 
In my family, it is a very large insult to not keep what someone has given you. she clearly wants you to have it, then take it and do not sell it. even when she passes it would still be an insult to get rid of a precious gift such as that.
 
Definately do some nice things for her, like shoveling the snow out of her driveway in the winter, etc. She did one heck of a nice thing for you and one good deed definately deserves another good deed (or a few) in return. :)
 
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