For those who have spouses or significant others who are coming around...

[h0ss]

Hi. I've been here on this board for a little while now, but i think this is actually my first thread.

Anyway, we see threads from time to time about "how do i get my spouse to accept the fact that i carry?" or "how do i convert my anti wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/etc...?"

Sorry if there has been a thread like this, i havnt seen it. But I was thinking it would be nice to have a thread of people who have had rabid anti, slightly anti, neutral or whatever spouses that have started to come around or who have done a complete 180 since the issue has come up in their lives. Instead of a "how do I...?" thread

I started dating my now wife when i was already into guns, and that didnt scare her away, but i learned later that she didnt ever really say anything about them because she had no right to when we were not married. After getting married, she never told me to get rid of them, but made it clear she was not a fan of guns. She knew it was my hobby and respected that even though she didnt like it. The whole, guns are dangerous mentality and the thought of someone getting hurt or killed accidentally.

I remember at least one pretty big argument and a couple of small "why do you NEED to carry a gun around with you?" types of talks. I think she thought i was "looking for trouble" or itching to use it. After i assured her that i was not trigger happy and had it for protection only (for me AND her), she still wasnt keen on it, but dropped it.

But there have also been mixed times where we will be talking walks late at night around town (i work second shift and get out at 11:00) and a few times she has whispered "do you have your gun or knife or something on you?" to which i just reply "yes".

I remeber her getting especially nervous when she was with me when i bought a holster at the local gun shop.

But since then, i have purchased and brought home another holster and when i got home she was on the phone and just shook her head and smiled real big.

She is coming around, i think. She has been shooting with me twice, once while dating and once while married. She had more fun the second time around, probably cuz it was a big group of people and we were taking pictures and such (she loves taking pictures). She will even hold my guns for me without a disgusted look on her face.

But one of the biggest break-throughs i have seen is when we were getting ready to go out a week or so ago and she walked into the room when i was looping my belt through the straps on my IWB holster with my GLOCK 30 in it, and after i snapped one of the holster straps, she reached up and strapped the other one for me!

Probably not a big deal, but yeah, i think she is slowly coming around. When my brother in law saw my carry rig he said "so you could carry it around town?" (duh! ) and my wife jokingly said "OH HE DOES!"

So lets hear your stories

BTW: It takes patience, positive re-enforcement that you are safe with guns, and dont be pushy. I still ask my wife from time to time to come shooting with me, but she declines, because she doesn't like to. But i dont nag her about it.

 

[Rokyudai]

My wife never made any positive or negative statements about guns or carrying a handgun while we were dating. It never became a topic of active discussion until we progressed in our relationship and became more comfortable approaching/discussing personal subjects like this one.

The first time the subject even came up happened on a 3rd or 4th date. It was a cook-out at a friend's house who happened to be a LEO. He being fairly new to the profession (fresh out of the academy) had loads of stories which I supposed greased the way to the general topic. I suppose in some attempt to keep a sense of relevance in the conversation I offered that my father was a police officer as well, had served in the Army during Vietnam, and served in the National Guard until he retired from both LEO and AFNG after 27 years or so. My friend knew very well at the time of my upbringing and interest/respect I had for gun ownership and he made the comment "so did you show her your armory yet?"...I choked a bit on my beer and burger and said, 'No, I didn't loudmouth.'

Fortunately with the preface I gave about being raised in an environment of a LEO/Military Veteran as well as brother being a state CO (trying to not make myself look like a nut), and the FACT she is the coolest girl I ever met, she simply smiled wide and said, "oh NOW the truth comes out!" Nothing really ever came of the topic after that for quite a while other than a fun moment of me being in the barrel.

Fast forward through our courtship and marriage, I have long since started to think about 'me' and focused on 'we' in daily life and how to preserve it. The conversations usually began with me bringing up local police reports occasionally on robbery, road rage, B&E's, drive-by's, shootings of all sorts and would explain that these incidents in part warranted/justified my need to carry concealed.

She is an extremely logical and patient person, but, we had different life experiences growing up which clearly influenced our course's of future action or inaction. It came down to street vs. book smarts, so I thought. She was gifted with book smarts for sure. I think with the help of my father, I saw many things through his unique daily experiences and responses that perhaps others did not or do not see. This benefited me many times but also became a hindrance for me when around her. I was constantly pointing out things she did not 'see' whether it was being aware of her surroundings or her driving. I'm looking through my lens of reason and expect her to have the same deductive process or sense of threat...this clearly was and is not the approach that would bring someone/anyone around. Fortunately by :banghead: 'ing my head and trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, it dawned on me (and yes I'm relatively young...even younger at that time)! We argued more over the fact I was being selfish, if not, demeaning by chiding her and making her feel stupid or child-like; none of which as I said before even remotely describes her. Also, making decisions/conclusions for her also gave no indication of me being understanding and thoughtful of her input and observations. Change of strategy needed. Enter: complete reversal...a moratorium on all exchanges relating to self defense, self awareness, and even gun ownership. I let it alone for quite a while. Bit my tongue countless times and forced myself to pause, reflect and only approach each of her observations as if it were my first time ever hearing it and ask her, how would you handle something like that? Whatever she would say, I would likely follow up with a thoughtful, 'good thinking'. Not every battle fought is a battle won, and we are clearly on the same side.

She has been to the range a few times after I had my epiphany. It's not something she really enjoys doing, but, she genuinely appreciates the benefits of gun ownership and supports my hobby/outlook. She has even signed up for her CHL class! The logical, thoughtful, patient person she is wants to know the laws regarding the use of deadly force. She also wants to feel confident that should the need arise, she can defend herself. Do I see her carrying anytime soon? Not really. The interesting thing is that she alludes every once in a while to specific events in her daily life that makes her think and say to me, "I would have felt just a bit more comforted if you had been there with your 'CCW'." She shows a lot of interest and progress in self awareness and defense. She takes martial arts classes with me.

Is she doing all of this just to please me? I don't think so. I would be selling her short though to think that can't be part of it.

My father strapped a gun on his hip every single day of his LEO career and everyday my mother said the same thing to us kids. "God, I hate those things. You kids stay away from them." It was until THIS year, after they have both retired, my mother agreed to get her handgun license in NY. Did she do it to please my father? After over their 40 plus years of marriage, I can only think he may have choked on a burger and beer in his youth...

 

[kludge]

I wouldn't say that my wife was converted... but she did have an irrational fear of guns (she is now frank about this, but it wasn't always that way). When she was young her brother would threaten her about killing her with her dad's handgun.

The week after I graduated college we got married we moved to Ohio (which did not have CCW at the time). We were poor apartment dwellers, and so the guns were stored in a trunk, but I did make a friend who allowed me to shoot on his land... and I got out of the habit of carrying... when we dated we were usually at my house or her house... so there wasn't a whole lot of carrying going on anyway.

Fast forward... we moved back to Indiana and once our lives started to settle down I wanted to get back into shooting. She never showed any interest in shooting and I never mentioned it.

At one point she told me she wanted a handgun, so I took her to the gun show and she picked out a Kel-Tec P-11. We also both went and got our hangun permits. This I convinced her was necessary, in case I had to run in somewhere where I wasn't allowed to carry, she would not be "guilty" of a crime.

That was over three years ago and she still has never shot her pistol. She doesn't think that "shooting will be the pasttime that we will share," but my hope is to get her out to a course (I'm now an NRA instructor) and have her start with a .22 revolver. We'll see.

She does believe in the Second Amendment, but she has been brainwashed to think that "machine guns" or "guns that look like machine guns" (in other words AR-style rifles) are bad.

 

[mhillsing23]

I got married last June. We had been dating prior to that for 4+ years, all through college. Throughout college she knew that I went skeet shooting on occasion and that I shot with my Grandpa when we went down to his property. During all of this time, I didn't own a gun that I kept at my house. Every gun that I owned was given to me by my Grandpa, and was kept at his house.

Right after we got married I started talking to her about getting a handgun to keep in the house for protection. She hesitantly gave her consent. She grew up with no exposure to guns and all she ever sees in the negative media spin. Before I picked up the gun (9mm XD) and brought it home she told me not to even have it visible around her because she didn't want to see it. She saw me consistently go to the range and practice. Eventually she would ask how it went when I got home, and ask to see my targets. This was the first positive step.

After a few months of respecting her wishes, I intentionally let the gun become visible in front of her, but obviously didn't shove it in her point of view. She looked and didn't care. Another positive step.

Over the next several months I purchased a couple more guns (Remington rifle and Ruger 22/45 for cheap practice) and always told her I was going to do so first. She didn't mind. Fast forward to 2 weekends ago. I got her to go shoot with me! She tried my Ruger 22/45, but wouldn't try the 9mm. She still thinks my XD looks "mean", but she doesn't mind it so much. After talking with her to make sure she understood my reasoning, I signed up to get my CCW next month.

That is quite a bit of progress in 6 months!

I know that there may be women in this situation, but I want to speak directly to the men. RESPECT your wife/girlfriend. Do not belittler her for being misinformed, or ignorant about guns. Lead by example.

 

[serrano]

My father always kept firearms in his stores (Liquor stores in bad neighborhoods, he's got stories.) for protection - revolvers, bolt guns, lever guns, and shotguns. But shooting wasn't a hobby of his, he kept them around because having a gun in his face wasn't an uncommon occurrence, and so growing up we never went to the range or fired his guns - but I knew my father was decidedly pro-gun. My mother was always very anti, any guns in the house were out of reach, with the actions stripped, and without ammo.

So, consequently, I grew up pro-gun but ignorant of their use.

In the Boy Scouts I had the chance to fire several bolt guns and shotguns, and under the tutelage of an excellent NRA instructor learned the four rules and developed an enjoyment of firearms.

I met my fiancee in High School - so throughout high school, and college, and then later employment out in the real world - I never had any firearms or really talked about them simply because my situation made it impossible to either afford, or keep them in a shared apartment.

As soon as I started making enough money to really afford to purchase, keep, and enjoy firearms we had been together for 8 years and it came out that she was very anti and she had just assumed I was also - to the point that had she known about my interest when we first met she would have written me off completely.

It's been a bit of a struggle as my purchases grew from bolt-action .22s, to lever guns, and now to handguns - I intend to get her out to the range with the handguns but it hasn't happened yet - I approach the issue from the angle that "if they're in the house you should know how to safely unload them". This was the only way I could get her to handle the handguns.

She put her foot down every step of the way, nothing besides a .22, nothing besides a rifle, no handguns, etc. I've been respectful, but have let her know that this is an issue on which I cannot bend - there have been fights, but I believe this is something worth fighting over.

Ignorance of firearms was the greatest obstacle, the more she sees how I safely handle and operate firearms the more she comes around.

 

[bluestarlizzard]

errrrr.... i don't mean to start anything, but isn't this (the personal ideals) the stuff you talk about BEFORE you get married? thats the one thing i've never gotten about ANY of these threads.

 

[Black Adder LXX]

My wife had never even tolerated guns, as her cousin committed suicide when she was young. When we got married, I didn't have any, and in conversations with her, she refused to have one 'of those' in the house.

Everything changed when a situation in our family put our lives at risk. After that I got our first gun, but kept it in the garage. Then we had a stretch of time where there were 2 break ins in my neighborhood, 4 deputy shootings, and 3 armed pursuits in my area (and we live in a 'good' part of town). Through all of this, I had been reading here about different situations around the nation, and constantly told my wife stories from the local news that basically reinforced that the police can't keep everybody safe. She finally has come around, and has gone shooting with me a few times. She has even agreed to get her permit and start carrying when she goes out.

I guess for me it was important to communicate with her, and not look at it as 'my wife is broken I need to fix her'. She needed time to think the issue through for herself. The mass media is determined to paint all gun owners as criminals and psychos, that there's no reason to own one unless you're a cop. All that goes out the window the first time somebody comes to do you and your family harm and the cops don't show up in time. Hopefully then it's not too late...

 

[h0ss]

Good stories. Yeah, like stated above, it takes patience, respect of your spouse, kind, gentle, understanding words and more patience. Just ease into things. Most of the time i believe it will yield positive results.

bluestarlizzard: Yeah, generally. But not all issues always come up before marriage. This thread is just to show the positive outcomes of situations that usually result in the 'how do i get my wife/whatever to be ok with me carrying' type of threads.

As far as my wife and I go, the REAL issues that we agree on were talked about before marriage (faith, beliefs, morals, what we want together, etc..). I didnt get too deep into mine, but she knew from the get-go that i owned guns and went shooting and liked guns a lot. She knew that i carried sometimes. She didn't show any negative reactions to it. After we got married, as my wife, she had more of a say about things than as just a girlfriend. Even though she respected the fact i liked guns, even after we were married she said she would never ask me to give them up. However, i think it made her nervous when i exhibited that i wanted to start carrying more (as in, anytime i legally could). Then she was just exercising her rights as my wife to talk to me about how it made her feel. Pretty much what we as gun owners do to our anti-gun spouses to try to persuade them to 'our side'. Nothing wrong with that. It just takes calm, understanding discussions to work out the mis-understandings.

 

[mekender]

i didnt get really into shooting until about 6 months ago... this weekend will be my 4th wedding anniversary, and ive owned long guns for about 8 years... my wife always knew what was in the large black case in the closet, but i wasnt ever really interested in going out to shoot... fast forward to last august... i lost my job and found myself with a lot of frustration and a lot of free time... so i started going to the range... a lot...

now my wife was witness to a gun murder when she was young... under 5 years of age... needless to say, this has affected her deeply... for the longest time, she always swore that she would never go shooting with me... in fact, she still says that...

my 9 year old step-son kept asking where i went and what was in the big black plastic case, so i talked my wife into letting me take him shooting... i took her SLR camera and took lots of pictures for her scrapbooking, so she was happy... we go out every couple of weeks if hes been good in school, and we always bring home our targets to show mommy... she would show some interest, but then roll her eyes when he would talk about how much fun it was...

meanwhile, she is a huge online buy/sell/trade shopper and spends hours browsing various forums for deals on kids toys etc... every so often, she will point out a gun add for me... we openly talk about incidents that make the news like the Omaha mall and the Colorado church shootings... even went to the mall the weekend after the shooting in Omaha and she was talking about how scary and dramatic something like that would be to witness... i will be browsing various gun sites, and will point out pictures of things that i want to get or things that i think look good... i showed her the Barbie AR-15 and the Hello Kitty AR one evening... then later we were talking while cooing over our newborn daughter and i kept telling my daughter that i was going to get her a nice pink rifle when she grows up... my wife responds "if i ever had a gun i would want it to be purple camouflage with butterflies on it"... of course i replied that something like that was fairly easy to get... and proceeded to show her various duracoat examples over the next couple of days... she would roll her eyes and smile...

last Saturday, i bought myself a 9mm (Ruger SR9)for my birthday... dropped her and my kids off at her friends house, and since her friend and her husband are gun supporters, we talked openly about what i was buying and that i was planning on shooting several hundred rounds... on the way home that evening, my wife was asking me some questions about it, and stated that she wanted to see it so that she could see what i "spent all that money on"... i informed her that i would, but that she had to let me show her how to unload it, use the safety, etc... i told her that it was very important so that in case for some reason she came across it in the house, she would know how to treat it safely... i also told her that i insisted on showing my 9 year old, so that it wasn't a mysterious object of curiosity...

when we got home, i sat them both down on the floor, pulled out a wrench, a screwdriver and a hammer... i went over the 5 safety rules with my son... (the 4 basics, + if you ever find a gun, tell an adult and leave it alone, and that "a gun is not a toy")... i explained that those 3 items were tools and when used properly, they are very safe, but if used incorrectly, they could be very dangerous... i then pulled the unloaded 9mm out of the case and explained the same thing... i showed both of them how the safety worked, how the magazine came out, and offered to let both of them hold it... my son did hold it, my wife didnt want to, so i didnt push it... i used snap caps to show them how to load it, and then showed them how it fires, and how to rack the slide to clear the chamber...

my wife got kind of freaked when i dry fired with a snap cap... i guess that she didn't fully understand what i was doing... but she didn't cry and run off, so it could have been worse... i then stripped the gun and started to clean it... my wife started complaining about the smell of Hoppes, so i put it all away and that was the end of it...

since then, my wife has gone out a couple of times shopping, and asked me what kind of belt i think that i will need for a holster... so i suppose that shes coming around pretty well...

she knows that im taking my CCH class in a couple of weeks and that im signed up to take an instructors class in a few months... she also has heard me repeatedly talk about wanting to open a range/store and she doesn't seem opposed to the idea... especially since i informed her that my shooting, ammo and guns would be tax write offs after that :-D

im doing my best to not push the idea, and being patient... im thinking that for her next birthday, ill get her a 10/22 stock in purple camouflage with butterflies on it... i figure after she looks at the stock for a couple of weeks, shell start getting curious about what it will look like when it is completed... since her b-day is in December, im expecting a good deal more progress to happen with her on the subject...

the key is patience... dont belittle her, dont put her down, she will come around...

 

[dtalley]

Weird this thread was started yesterday.
My wife has never questioned my guns or my carring of a gun.
She is aware that when we travel there will be several with us and even keeps an eye on the bags and is very consience of them... Will come and watch me at the reloading bench and talk. It has been Great.

BUT, Last night I was lying in bed watching the Outdoor Channels Gun night with "Shooting USA" and "Sighting In" and such, when she came in and stood next to the TV for a few minutes and looked at me and said "I think I want to do that". You should have seen me light up.

I jumped up, opened the safe and went to seeing what she wanted to start with. Pulled the Walther P22 and she said "it looks small". I grabbed the Glock 19 and she just set it back on the shelf. She then pointed at the S&W 686 and said "I like this one". I told her that she could shoot some mild 38's through it at first and she just said she wanted to shoot whatever it took...

I later asked her what made her decide she wanted to shoot and she just said because My son and I seem to get a lot of enjoyment out of it and she just thought it looked like fun.

We have a date for this Saturday afternoon at the range.

 

[Wedge]

She was supremely anti when we met. I was pretty antigun, liberal, college boy when we met so it was love...

We brought a .22 with us once when we went camping and she had fun, I think we were 22 as well

Later that year I started hunting at the early age of 22 (still not married yet). When I turned 23 my uncle gave me the shotgun I used to harvest my first deer but I kept it down at his place.

The next year at 24 I buy my first gun all on my own. She wasn't thrilled, but it was for turkey hunting and my own deer rifle because my uncle still claimed ownership of the one he "gave" me. She knew how upset I was about it when the incident happened (a piece of the shotgun he gave me fell off and I lost it in the woods and he freaked out on me...), so she understood why I wanted a gun I bought andn paid for myself.

Right around the same time I decided to get my pistol permit (upstate NY). Again, she wasn't thrilled, didn't want me to get a evil looking gun or anything. I wanted it primarily for hunting and target so I got a Blackhawk in .45 Colt. That turned out being VERY expensive to feed so the next year she got me a whole reloading setup for Christmas! Hmm...things seem to be changing around.

Couple years later and I want something she might be able to shoot as well. So I want to get a 9mm. I have a real job at this point and $$$ isn't an issue...what do I get? A Glock 17. Pretty evil, long way from that Blackhawk or pump shotgun in perception.

Turns out 9mm is getting more expensive. Couple years later we NEED a .22LR. I want it to be for both of us, mostly for me but I want it to be comfortable for her. She picks out a Walther P22 (she has gone out once with it...I've put a through a few bricks through it).

Finally I started to collect C&Rs.

My wife calls them junk from some Russian's basement. So I keep the milsurps on the guest bed and not on our bed. Yes, I am serious. I think she had one of her stuffed animals sit in a way that he is marching with it.

So yes, some people might come around...but it doesn't happen overnight.

 

[chris in va]

I live with my friend of 10 years. She had a gun pointed at her head by the ex and was pretty leery of me carrying. For years she would make snide remarks and roll her eyes.

But one day it just magically stopped. Why? Reading stories of random violent acts on the news. And not just in cities either...I'm talking about everywhere. It really hit home when last year we had two armed holdups in the WalMart parking lot, 3 bank robberies, a massive cocaine ring bust (complete with deportations) and two bad home invasions. Not to mention the increasing threat of MS13 oozing in from the larger cities 60 miles away. This town only has 22k people BTW.

and a few times she has whispered "do you have your gun or knife or something on you?" to which i just reply "yes".

That's the turning point my friend. Right there. Just be careful, don't push your 'agenda' on her...it will give a bad impression. Carry as always, show her guns aren't a bad thing but tools for self defense.

 

[kamagong]

I'm newly engaged. My fiancee was raised in an anti household despite her dad being in the Navy. She's not like her parents though, as she has gone shooting with friends who own several guns. She doesn't want to own one herself though, and she didn't want me to own any either.

I bought my first gun nine months ago. Even though I told her ahead of time she was still caught off-guard by it. I knew it would be an issue, that's why I decided to do it before we got married. I put my foot down and let her know that this was something I felt strongly about. She was a little upset, but I guess she saw something in my eyes that told her that I was not going to compromise. I also asked her if she trusted me and expected me to protect her. She said yes of course, and saw that there was no way for her to win. Despite her upbringing she was able to see that there was no good reason to not have a gun.

Fast forward half a year. The week after I popped the question her and I were in the gun shop and she asked me if I wanted anything. I replied yes and asked for a Springfield Custom Carry (it's one of the Custom Shop 1911s). I didn't really expect her to say yes, but I figured why not swing for the fences. She didn't even bat an eye and I placed an order for one right then and there, which she paid for. I was speechless and I could tell the other guys in the shop were more than a little envious. So I guess you can say that she's coming around.

 

[Riz58]

Married 20 plus years and my wife never wanted anything to do with guns.

My sister-in-law convinced her to try it one day, and we were off to the races! She was crying she was so scared as my brother walked her through her first shot with a pistol. She hit the bullseye and was estatic (target at 3 yards). Being a perfectionist, this shooting to hit the target in the center became a great thing!

Point is: it is often another woman who will move your wife/GF toward shooting. It was a woman selling at a gunshow that convinced my wife to buy her first gun - a Bersa Thunder 380. I kidded her about being an official "gun nut" upon her purchase.

She now has her concealed carry permit and has been carrying a Kel-Tec P3AT around the last week!

So hang in there, guys. Miracles do happed

 

[GigaBuist]

I just got engaged last Saturday. My bride-to-be, Theresa, has never really been anti-gun, but hasn't always been too fond of them.

We first met back in, oh, 2004. An after work meet up with my new coworker and his old coworkers. She was there as the girlfriend of one of the guys. I met her a few times like this. Never chatted much.

The feller she was with, Jeff, is a gun guy. Not as much I am, but still, a gun guy. She had a hard rule for him: No guns in the apartment that were designed to kill people.

That relationship fizzled out about a year later and I bumped into her a few times after that at a local brewpub. We both like good beer. We'd sit, chat, flirt a bit and such. After doing this a few times I walked her out to her car, asked for a kiss, got one, and when we parted she asked, "Uhm, is that a gun?" Her hand was on my cellphone on my belt. Everybody knows I'm a Gun Guy, so I wasn't taken too off guard by it.

Turns out, in the interim time since we first started flirting, she got my last name out of our mutual buddy and looked me up online. She then read 3 whole years of my blog postings. Yep, every crazy thing I'd ever written, she'd read.

She figured I might be fun for a few dates; thought I'd probably ramble on about politics a lot though. Turns out that wasn't the case. She really liked me.

Still does, it seems.

Shortly after that I went out to Montana to meet Richard Celatas of KT Ordnance, came back to a week later, called her up, we got together, and the rest is history.

She's NEVER had a problem with the gun thing since she's been with me. When we first started dating I had just gotten back from Montana, and since I'm a lazy feller, I still had a bunch of rifles, pistols, and probably a couple thousand rounds of ammo in the back of my Jeep. Kudos to her for still going out wit me even though it looked like I was kitted out to overthrow a 3rd world country.

Early on she wouldn't touch spare ammo that I'd occasionally dump into the change bowl. These days she sorts them out just like they're quarters. Heck, if I leave a loaded pistol at my work desk (I work from home) she's fine if she has to move it to get to some Scotch tape. No qualms with having a shotgun stored next to the toilet paper in the closet either.

She did veto me keeping a gun cabinet in the bedroom, but that's got more to do with space and aesthetics than anything else.

Why the big change between me and her ex? I cannot say for certain, but I can hypothesize. One, she read 3 years of my writing on the subject. I'm not one that takes this light hearted. The ex? Meh, it's just sorta a thing for him. I like the guy, BTW. I've gone shooting with him a couple of times, and bumped into him at the local range more than once too. He's alright.

The second reason is more subtle. About 4 months into the relationship I went with her back to her hometown to meet the parents, grand parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, etc. Sunday morning we show up at the family's place to go out for breakfast and her old man hops into the back of my Jeep. 'Twas a little cluttered back there. Not as much as before, but there were still a few boxes of ammo, random catalogs, magazines, etc. Her dad looks it over, grabs one of the magazines (probably one of the NRA ones) and says, "Hey! I get this magazine too!"

Yeah, her dad's retired Army. Has the same views I do on the 2nd amendment. We read the same magazines. Shop from the same catalogs. When we're in the same room the conversation naturally drifts to history, wars, etc.

On the drive home that day she realized, "I'm dating my father!" We joke about it, but I really am a lot like her dad.

That's probably a big reason why she trusts me on the gun thing.

So, I didn't really "do" anything to convert her. Just being a good, honest, thinking, caring, loving man was enough.

 

[cambeul41]

Plagiarized from my first THR post:

My wife was, until a couple of years ago, a hoplophobe; but I work in Detroit. After a particularly murderous weekend there, during a particularly murderous month, she decided that, despite her fear of guns, she wanted me to carry. She also decided to join me in the CCW class because she believes that we should do whatever we can together. The required range time stressed her out almost totally.

She will tell you that her change of mind was a result of 9-11, but I think something else was a significant factor. A couple of months later, in peaceful a suburban park near a police station, a maniac rushed at her with a club. Before he struck, he saw me coming to her defense and backed off. No one was hurt, but she then understood that danger can come at any time and anyplace.

After taking the class but before that attack, we had visited gun stores shopping around for what we wanted. We felt no sense of urgency. She still feared guns and I had to hold her wrist and insert each gun into her hand before she would even hold it. Of course, the male salesmen suggested revolvers and mouse guns. They all seemed to agree that she should not consider anything more powerful than 9 mm.

Finally, on a business trip to Tennessee, upon hearing that she was gun shopping, a contact took her to a private shooting range where he and some others let her try a variety of hand guns and long guns. She discovered that she was no longer afraid to shoot anything, and she fell in love with a .40 cal Glock 23. Now she has and carries her own.

A follow-up to this came early in 2005 when she was interviewing for a new job. She was told the job was stressful and was asked what she did to relieve stress. She answered that she liked to walk the dog and read; but when she was severely stressed, she liked to go to the shooting range and practice. To her, now, the range is a place of Zen-like calm and tranquility. Yes, she got the job, and now she manages to work references to, and lessons about, guns and shooting into frequent business presentations.

Update:

She now carries an XD-9 and has an M&P-9, and a Ruger 10/22. Her next purchase might well be an AR-15 which she maintains is “feminine.”

 

[Lon371]

When we got married, I was in the U.S.Army. Needless to say guns and camo were a way of life. This was 23 years ago. Since then she has fired numerous numbers of our weapons. She is comfortable with guns around. She has always supported me when I taught our kids(very early) to shoot and respect guns.

I will suggest, you start a girlfreind or wife shooting a .22 semi auto pistol. My wife loved it. It was somthing she could control.
Good luck.