Found in American Handgunner

[pax]

When you go to visit family over Christmas, your mother-in-law very carefully avoids asking what you've been up to.

When you go to visit family over Christmas, your brother-in-law tells you that his 9 year old son has a question about guns for you (which the 9 year old vehemently denies, looking puzzled). The question turns out to be: "Would a Desert Eagle be able to kill a grizzly bear?" Oddly enough, you are well-versed in internet lore, and can go on for hours about that topic.

You didn't, though, because your mother-in-law was jumping in to change the subject.

Later, you pull your brother-in-law aside to find out if he -- er, I mean, "his son" -- has any other off the wall gun questions for you. But being a Good Gun Nut, you resist telling him about mutant ninja zombie bears.

pax

 

[Shane333]

When you smile with heavenly satisfaction in your church meetings because hymn numbers 223 and 308 are sung in the same meeting. This actually happened to me. 223 was the opening hymn number and 308 was the closing hymn number. My wife couldn't understand what I found so inspiring that day.

 

[SDC]

One that's happened to me:

You're standing there with a new (rifle, shotgun, handgun) in your hands, trying to figure out a way to afford it ("C'mon, Kraft dinner isn't THAT bad"), and you suddenly realize you already HAVE one exactly like that at home.

 

[DRZinn]

Liberal definition: You own one.

 

[AZLibertarian]

I love these lists. They reinforce my belief that being a gun-nut isn't all that uncommon.

True Story: I had a long discussion about RKBA with an 'anti' co-worker, and at one point he asked "So how much ammunition do you have at your house?"--his point being that too much ammo made me a nut.

In all candor, my answer was: "Well, I'm down to only a couple thousand rounds." When a semi-decent trip to the range can burn through 500 rounds, a couple thousand at the house isn't all that much.

His jaw nearly dropped to the ground. It was perfect!

 

[LawDog]

You holsters for guns that you've never owned.

The department range master won't speak to you.

Your gun-store calls your number when they get in something unusual.

Your gun-store calls to make sure that you're okay if you don't visit at least once a week.

Your gun-store has your phone number on speed-dial.

You have live .22LR rounds littered on the dashboard of your pick-up.

There's loose live ammo in your pick-up that you don't have any guns for.

Your change dish has more .22 ammo in it than pennies.

You've picked up brass at the range that you don't have any guns for, and you reloaded it.

You bought spare gun parts for guns that you don't own.

People call you on the off-chance that you might have a gun part they're looking for.

It's the magazine latch spring from a Bergmann M1910.

You've got it.

LawDog

 

[roo_ster]

You buy extra guns so your income challenged buddies will be able to shoot with you.

I am not affluent, but I have seriously considered buying a M44 Mosin & some milsurp for such occasions.

 

[sm]

You have ever killed a vacuum cleaner from vacuuming a live primer.

Guilty - I just killed my third the other day btw, I have this part figured out.

 

[pax]

Steve ~

Only one, so far.

I was hoping it wouldn't be necessary to repeat the experience.

pax

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes- and six months later you have to start all over again. -- Joan Rivers

 

[lbmii]

Your various computer passwords and ATM PIN numbers are 4570, 3030, 3006, 1911, 3840, 3040.

 

[lbmii]

You arrange your bedroom furniture with your shotgun in mind.

You don't just know the names of the small arms used by the different militaries of the world; you also know weights and muzzle velocities of the bullets fired by those small arms as well.

 

[pax]

Your various computer passwords and ATM PIN numbers are 4570, 3030, 3006, 1911, 3840, 3040.

Now you have to change them all.

pax

The Internet is run by a guy named Heisenberg, and his principles are uncertain. -- Kevin G. Barkes

 

[RandomMan]

lets see here.....

you hold your self to a diet of ramen noodles and spaghetti-0s so you can save money for ammo/range time

Well, I bought a Costco membership so I could buy in bulk and save more money to buy ammo and guns.

You can't wait to graduate from college so you can buy guns more often (once every 6 months just isnt enough)

Damn straight!! :banghead:

you even consider taking out a student loan to purchase a bushmaster (if my dad reads this, that never happened)

Except my choice was a Class III weapon.

you make your dinner plans based upon which restaraunts you can legally cary in

Doesn't everyone?

you move into a 3 bedroom apt with 5 other people so your rent goes down in hopes that you will be able to buy the next gun sooner....

I'm guilty on that one!

you know the CCW requirements of your state and any state you have ever even considered anything from residing in to driving through

And the laws regarding possession and ownership of Class III NFA goodies too.

for a wedding gift you want to purchas his and hers S&W airweights

your main criteria for purchasing a new suit is how well it will cover a fullsize auto loader

I want the GF and I to get matching Single action revolvers and my requirement for a Tux is that I get to carry a Walther PPK in a shoulder holster underneath!

Yep, I might be a gun nut.

-Rob

 

[TechBrute]

Nevermind...

 

[ColinthePilot]

you mentally do clearing drills in every building you enter, especially ones you frequent.

you wish for a home backstop every time you drop $10 in range fees.

you are the "gun guy" at work.

You worry about how much open space there is in your safe

you refuse to buy ammo in quantities less than a case

you see an ammo price and say "nah, i can get it half a cent/round cheaper at xxxxxx"

you know all the different versions of Mosin Nagant, SKS, Mauser, and AK by sight.

you see different objects over the course of your day and wonder "I wonder what a bullet would do to that?"

you save various useless objects just so you can shoot them

you have a zombie plan, a katrina plan, a shtf plan, and a red dawn plan. all are realistic and executable tomorrow.

 

[John828]

You use calibers for microwave use:

22 seconds for heating a piece of bread

204, 218, 222, or 223 for heating a cup of water

257 for reheating a piece of meat

264, 270 or 308 for popcorn (358 for some microwaves)

444 or 460 for a baked potato (follow up with a 257 shot if needed)

 

[1911 guy]

I bought my son a .22 bolt action about a week before he was born. He was premature.

I'm the "gun guy" at work.

I keep 1,000 each .223 and .308 on hand all the time.

The gunshop employees think I shoot a lot.

One has asked me for advice setting up his HD shotgun.

There are three seasons to the year, Hunting, Target and Varmint.

I've got to buy a lever action rifle, I realized recently that all my rifles are bolt actions, except for the AR.

"Molon Labe" has the same effect on you as the National Anthem.

 

[Rachen]

You hit the roof every time the news calls a Mini-14 an "automatic assault weapon," a hunting rifle with a scope a "sniper rifle," or a Glock a "metal detector avoiding gun."

You hit the roof every time you watch the news.

I agree with that COMPLETELY!

 

[230RN]

You get a really fine pen as an award from your company and you wonder if a Ruger Mark II magazine will fit in the nifty box it came in.

(True, true!)

 

[Rachen]

Or when you go shopping for a pen refill, and ask the store clerk if the pen is "chambered" for _________ refills.

You see a cucumber in a grocery store and realized that you just thought up a design for a new match/varmint bullet!

You mistake yellow marker caps for discarded brass.
Even more, you pick up the marker caps, only to realize your mistake.

Hearing a jackhammer on the street automatically makes you think "Knob Creek".

You open the newspaper and when there is nothing related to the 2nd Amendment and gun rights, you immediately get bored with it.

Seeing a picture of a bear, deer, moose, etc... immediately gets you into "what caliber for.................................. mode".

You see black synthetic cushions in a furniture store and you ask the clerk: "How much does that tactical couch cost?"

 

[sm]

You and the rest of the kids decide you don't want to go out to the movies , instead go to gun store and use the Kid's Night money to get bulk packs of .22 long rifle, and cans of spray paint.


Buy that DVD of that movie you did not go out too see in the Theatre when it was released 6 mos ago.

On the way home get some of those big one topping pizza's for $5.

Once home go out back in the light of a porch light and manage to actually get some of the spray paint onto the spinner targets that the .22 lr is shot at.

Eat pizza, drink cokes, watch that movie bought.


I know some kids, that have figured out to how to re-define "kids night".
Instead of movie at the theatre, they end up with ammo, spray paint, a movie they own and Pizza...
We still have not figured out how come we adults have to pick up the tab for Dr.Pepper, 7-Up, Coke and Lemonade...
Or how come the dawgs end up needing money too unless we fell for the old ..."dawgs are kids too, so what about their cut of the action?"


*conned again*

 

[pyle]

You write down a list of 10 reasons to help you convince your wife why you NEED that new pistol because you know she thinks the 25 pistols in your safe are enough.

 

[TehK1w1]

-You have tripped over a gun only to land on another one.
-They were the same brand, model, and caliber.
-Your neighbors have been known to knock on your door to complain about the smell of Hoppes in their backyard.
-you have ever poked a hole in your ceiling with a bayonet.
-if you have ever caught a bayonet in a moving ceiling fan
-you go shopping for your first gun safe and have to buy 2, because they don't have any big enough.
-your friends avoid opening the glove box of your vehicle.
-you have guns in more calibers than the local sporting goods store.

 

[AnthonyC.]

You know what company came up with the term "Varget"....

You like the smell of those old paper shotgun shells after they are used

 

[lamazza]

You see footage of the war and wish you were there to pick up brass.

Thats hilarious because I think that every time I watch a war movie.