Guns, Purchasing, Finances and Your Wife

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Mauserguy

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Hello,
I have been dating a girl for some time now, and I am starting to think what life would be like if.... At any rate, how do you males out there get along with your gun collections?

I am very moderate in my personal habits and spending. I drive an old car and drink very little. My only real indulgance is my gun collection and ammo bills. I would hate to have to give that up if my significant other objected over my modest bullet budget. How do you work it?
Mauserguy
 
I do not recomend you do as I do, but here's what I do.


I skim my pay checks when I have overtime (of course this comes to an end now that I've been "promoted" to salary, so now I'm relegated to saving my birthday and christmas cash).

Then when I've saved enough for the gun I buy it and lie about how much it cost (for example I paid around $550 for a S&W Model 29 that my wife thinks I paid $300 for).

Once I told her I did a freelance job in trade for a gun when in fact I got paid cash for the job and added that cash to money I'd skimmed from my pay checks.


When I die, you guys might want to look my wife up because she'll have a gun collection to sell and has no idea what the guns are really worth :neener:
 
If it is an issue I say deal with it straight forward.
I had a girlfriend who told me I could keep guns around but no ammo. I am a pretty reasonable person but that was straight freaking nuts and that is how I treated it. After I explained it she understood.
Is it really the budget that is the problem or is she not comfortable with you having guns and this is how she comes at it? If it is the first, come up with a deal where each of you get whatever amount or percentage as yours and you get to spend it however you want. If the second, educate her on guns. At the very least she will be more comfortable with having them around and she may even wind up cutting into your gun budget.
If it is a control thing... well you deal with it however your gut tells you to. But if it is a control thing the control thing will continue to be there after you have been disarmed. (No offense ladies but I have seen this. I'm sure some of you can think of men who have pulled the same thing with you.)
 
Mauserguy

I am sort of like you (except for the potential wife). I do not drive expensive cars, I do not drink alcohol, I do not gamble, and I buy all my clothes on sale. Therefore I feel fine with spending money on guns.

My partner spends lots of money on things like expensive wine when we go out, tons of expensive coffees, music (he is a performer), stage props, etc. I always say that at least my guns could be sold if we needed the money. his stuff is money gone.
 
My wife and I share firearms, knives, cars, and such as a common hobby. She is more often than not my range partner on most days. We have no bills aside from the mortgage and 2 car payments. We don't use credit cards at all. We do like to dine out which does get expensive at times, but we always keep it within limits. Same goes for gun stuff. Our most recent big thing was a new Mustang GT and she was as happy with buying it as I was. I find it pretty cool that we share alot of common grounds actually.
 
One thing I did before I got married was this: I sat the wife down, and we had a talk.

I said, "Honey, my responsibility is to provide for you and protect you. I will do both. If you want to get a job, that's fine; if you want to contribute to the bills, that's OK; but I consider it my primary responsibility and duty to provide for our family. I will do this, without fail.

"That being said, please understand this: I will NEVER abuse your trust, and will always try my best to include both of us in any decision to be made. So, I ask you this--please, don't EVER boss me around--I won't boss you around either. Don't ever try to put a ring in my nose, because I promise that I will turn into the most contrary so and so that ever walked the face of the earth."

In other words, we reached an understanding before we got married.

I guess it worked...

26 years this December. :)
 
My wife and I both share in the shooting hobby. She enjoys it as much if not more than I do. She has a little better sense about buying guns than I do, but we've managed to get the ones we want without too much trouble. Note. We buy them. I don't, she doesn't. We do.
 
Back when I was married I executed a strategy similar to Zundfolge's, namely that I skimmed my paycheck and saved pocket cash in order to build up my gun fund and keep my purchases from the prying eyes of an anti-gun wife.

These days my money is my own and I do with it what I please. I've dated several pro-gun women and even took one to the range last month. Life is good.... ;)
 
WARNING: This advise pertains not ONLY to your gun habits...

Why in the world would you accept anyone into your life that wants to change you, or you feel the need to change them? If she doesn't like guns and shooting, well, that's part of who you are. She can choose to accept that or find someone that better fits her needs. She knew that going in..so why should she want to change it?

First rule of thumb: If you can see your dilemna being discussed on a Dr Phil show, it's a sign that you have bought into the fact that we men are just neanderthals that need to touch of a woman to civilize us.

As Penn and Teller would say...that's BULLS**T!!!

You are who you are. She is who she is. If either of you feel there is a need to change the other, it's not a good match.
 
I had to do like Zundfogel with my ex-wife. That got old . My current girlfriend is the complete opposite. She is the one who usually says " Honey, let's go to the gunshop and see what is new." I am pretty satisfied with things the way they are now. And she even helps to clean after a range day.:D
 
Powderman explained it well.

Set the rules up front. It works.

I made it clear when I got married that there were things that I liked to do that might cost money now and then. Shooting was one, among others.

I made it clear that as long as the house, cars, and food were paid there would be no whining about a box of ammo or a gun here and there, that was just to be expected.

I encourage my wife to have hobbies. She can't really find anything she's particularly into. That's too bad, but it won't make me feel guilty for spending money on things that I am into.
 
Setting it up right in the beginning...

...didn't work for long. She started getting pretty obnoxious for a while, and soon after she changed her tune to basically anti-gun. Now, that's her perogative as a PIA, so I let it go. I did this: when I got the safe, before I brought it in the house, I made sure I had a rifle for every slot and enough pistols to make it look totally full. (Lots of Makarovs, CZ-52s, SKSs, and K-31 rifles) I show her the inside of the safe, and it's full. Perfect.
Now, when I find a gun that I really want, I take one of the milsurps in and trade it. Example: I had thirteen SKS rifles. I now have seven of them, and six other long guns. When I'm down to two SKSs, I'll stop trading them, as everyone needs two SKSs. I had four Makarovs, and six CZ-52s (not counting the other handguns in my collection) now I have one CZ-52, two Maks, and have replaced the others with HiPowers and 1911s that have caught my eye.
This has worked wonderfully. the safe has the same number of guns in it, but the value has gone up a great deal.
(I didn't even have a single round of ammo in 7.62x25 when I traded the latest CZ-52. I have several thousand rounds of everything else.)
Steve.
 
Doesn't anyone find it odd that you might have to be sneaky to have your hobby? How about standing up for yourself and telling your better half to deal with it...or has that disappeared in the age of the metrosexual and Dr. Phillibites???

What the HECK is all this pandering to women thing about anyway? I just don't get it. I can tell you personally that the world is a WHOLE lot kinder to a single man than it is a single woman....something to keep in mind.
 
Heh, if I asked my wife right now how many guns we have, she would have no idea. The only key to the safe is on my keychain. She can get into the electronic lockbox, but she has no interest whatsoever.

I don't necessarily hide gun purchases, but I tend to use what a friend of mine called "undeclared income" (bonuses, etc.) in order to forestall problems.

I've bought 7 firearms in the past year, she's aware of maybe 3. I'd rather her be just as interested as me even though that would probably limit the purchases (or change them to something she would want, that's not bad). I'm hoping to take her shooting for the first time this summer.

I want her to be able to get into that lockbox, load the Mod. 19, and use it if I'm not home. About a year ago a stranger was knocking on the door, acting funny, in the middle of the day. That freaked me out.

-Jeff
 
My wife and I both have an "allowance." Each month, we each have a certain amount of money that we can spend no questions asked. After that, if we want to make a big purchase, or several small purchases that add up to a lot of money, we talk about it. If, for example, you spend $400 a month on ammo, then give her the same amount to spend no questions asked. Then you don't have to worry about it or sneak around.
 
When my wife starts to complain my gunning habit I just tell her this.
1) when we were first married I had to sell some of my guns to help with household finanaces and would again if the need ever arises again.
2) I don't run to the bar every night, chase other women or do drugs.
3) I reload so I can shot more for the same amount of money as if I was buying factory ammo.
When we were first married between the two of us we was lucky to make $15K a year and two kids now 20+ years later we earn $80K with no kids at home. So at that time if one of the kids got sick and needed medicine or something else my guns got sold and I'm sure that I'm not the only one that had to do this as my family comes first. I could always borrow a rifle or shotgun from my father who would was alive at the time for my hunting which I did a couple of times.
 
All good threads here. You are the only one who can decide your heart, but my rule of thumb is, be tactful but honest. It's worked for my bride and me for nearly 32 years.

If she doesn't know anything about firearms, but is willing to learn, and to accommodate your interests (even if just by letting you indulge your recreation "responsibly"), good deal.

But if it's a control issue, think long and hard about how short a leash you want to be on for the rest of your relationship. And if you start out the relationship on lies, likely it'll continue and escalate to things other than your guns - NOT a good thing.

Good luck. r/
 
If she's still a girlfriend then it's no issue. When I was contemplating getting married my wife and I sat down and discussed finances. I told her that there were only 3 things that I cared about financially:

1. We would never pay a bill late
2. I didn't want to marry someone who just wanted to stay at home and do "housework".
3. I would always pay the bills but I didn't want to ever have to justify to her any purchase that I wanted. (cars, guns, etc.)

We tend to plan "common" goals so that we're both contributing and everything else is fair game. So, when she wants new furniture or a new deck or something big like that we both kick in "x" $ out of each paycheck until we have enough, and for things like Clothes, cars, etc. we each pay for our own. Right now she's on an antique furniture kick and doesn't want to have to convince me that it's ok to spend the money and she understands when I need a new tool, gun, car parts, etc. I guess I"m pretty lucky because my wife is very independant and doesn't want to ask my permission before she spends money and so it works the other way around equally.

I'm not suggesting that every relationship should work the way mine does, but what I am saying is that if you spend the time upfront to discuss EVERYTHING before you get married then it works alot better!!
 
WOW! I never imagined that there was actually someone else out there that "lies" about how much guns to their significant others! :evil: Yeah right it happens ALOT! Zundfolge obviously isnt scared to admit it, at least to us! lol Ive gotten more guns on "sale"(yeah how often do you find a gun marked done $200-$300+ I do all the time!) than I can count! What? I find good deals! lol!

No my fiancee(I hate that word for some reason-sounds really french and really well nevermind) enjoys shooting alot! She is basiclly my range partner! She keeps a S&W 60 LadySmith beside her at home even though I have a small arsenal. Do I wish she was more into it llike I am(forums,mags,competetions,etc...)? Sure but shes not and thats cool. Im lucky enough to have her like shooting. Would we if been together for 5 years and would I have asked her to marry me if she was against me shooting and buying guns but let me do it? Most likely. Would that of happened if she was against it and b*tched when I went to shoot or bought gun items? I seriously doubt it. IMO there is no women worth stopping the things you love to do, or quit hanging out with certain friends(if they are true friends) or family. I dont care who she is. Some ask me then why do I have to lie(it is a lie even though if she found out it wouldnt be a big deal) about how much guns cost me and thats fair. Guns are one of the things that get me through everyday. Buying them,shooting them.cleaning them,etc... and since they help me relax and stay entertained it helps when Im not around them. Thats what hobbies are about. The funny thing is if a gun cost me $200 or $400 it doesnt matter becuase if she doesnt think we have the money for it at that time or I dont need it then she doesnt think I need it. I would say 80% of the time though she just wants me happy and as long as the bills are paid and she isnt needing anything its all good. As far as having expensive taste we dont go crazy but we arent hurting. We dont act like we have more than we do. On a end note though in my opinion dont let someone take away the things you love to do(as long as there legal) in order to have a relationship with them. Like the old saying goes theres plenty more rounds in the drum or is it theres planty more fish in the sea?
 
When I first met my wife

She knew I hunted with a gun & a bow. She didn't object (much) to my "little hobby" as she calls it. Little by little I've drawn her in. I take her shooting and started her small with a .22 for just plinking. I tried to get her interested in trap & sporting clays but my 12 ga is too much for her.

After shooting my .22's for a long time she finally told me she wants one of her own. I guess she got tired of waiting for her turn to shoot. :p

We have an unspoken agreement, she never askes me how much I spend on guns of ammo and I don't ask the same about her shoes, purses and clothes.
 
I have a bigger problem
turns out my wife is a gun nut too
A good 1/3 of the safe is hers and as someone said earlier she tends to suggest we go hit the toy store once in a while.
I'ts great
but it kills the budget:what:
She never says no, she just wants to shoot it once in a while.
On the plus side, we have quite a collection
Just think of us as Mr and Mrs Smith. ;)
 
My siutation is this:

I tell my wife when I am going to buy a gun. I never put our personal finances in jeopardy when I do this and she knows it. I handle all of our bills as per her request. Now, my job has some perks where I am spiffed additional money for certain things and that is the money I usually allocate to my guns.

For instance, a few weeks ago a guy needed a car driven to El Paso from Dallas. I told him I would do it as long as he took me to the airport upon delivery. That paid me $400.00. The next day, I picked up a used G17 for $400.00. This had no impact on the bank account. I am sort of cheap when it comes to other things and wanting to have gun money is how I justify it.

Now, I still get that "look" when I say I want to buy a certain gun and usually have to explain what the deal is, but thats ok. She generally gets the things she wants, when she does too and the kids have never gone without anything.

I probably put more guilt on myself than is needed, but thats ok.
 
I have problems with finances, guns, and my wife.


She and I argue constantly over whether or not we should buy x,y,z. In the end, she usually wins, though....





...and we buy it.:D


I'm very happily married, and she's an only child. So there.
 
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