Guns, Purchasing, Finances and Your Wife

[davera]

Hobby funding

My wife and I have separate checking accounts but most of the funding comes from my salary when she is not working outside the home. I don't spend much other than on my hobbies and only indulge one at a time We are meticulous in categorizing spending and planning ahead, pay our bill on time, have only a mortgage and a car loan, pay credit cards off every month and fund retirement and savings for reserves.
After all that, we each have a category in our accounts called "personal savings" and that money is for whatever we want to spend it on. Hers is photography, mind is the shooting hobby.
My personal savings are currently awaiting an AO M1 Carbine.

 

[ravencon]

My wife has horses. Compared to that, guns are a cheap, cheap hobby.

 

[Hemicuda]

My Girlfriend (wife soon, I hope) knows all about my guns and gun habits... i make no secret of it about it with her... honesty is best, or so i think... YMMV

 

[Zundfolge]

The issue with my wife is not that its guns, its that its money. Doesn't matter what I want to spend money on, if its not for "us" it shouldn't be spent (although there's a lot of money spent on "us" that I wouldn't have spent at all).

She is the most miserly person I've even known (probably because she grew up poor).


Frankly the "its better to ask for forgiveness than permission" is the rule of the day around our place ... if I went to her and said "I'd like to spend $300 on __________ for myself." we'll end up going round and round and round (usually ending up with her whining and moaning about how she had to do without for most of her life) ... If I show up with ____________ and tell her it was $300, there will still be a conflict, but it will be shorter and less volatile and I still get what I wanted.

Yeah, it sounds crazy, but it works (and this is really the only complaint I have about my wife ... I've never been with anyone I had so little to complain about ).

 

[kirby]

Money is a big issue in marriages. Be SURE you sort it out ahead of time. My wife and I do this (but we've pretty much always agreed on finances). This includes things like what a reasonable ammount to spend on a house/car/furniture is.

Here's how we solve it:
We have a monthly "fun money" budget. It's split in half. It is a no questions asked budget for each person. We still talk about what the other is buying with it (just for fun) but there's no veto power. If I blow my entire monthly bugdet on the 1st of the month on guns, that's my business. Occasionally one of us will try to convince the other that some purchase really should be a household purchase and shouldn't come from "the fun money" (really honey, you I'm buying the shotgun for you!). She buys shoes, quilting stuff and occasionally treats me to range time when we go together out of her fun money. If one of us wants something more than the monthly ammount, that person banks it and combines it with next month's fun money.

 

[Slinger]

WORDS OF WISDOM

I once heard a wise man say...

"A woman marries a man thinking that she will change him. A man marries a woman thinking that she will never change."

After 20 years of marriage I know what he meant...

She knows I always will have guns, and I know she won't always be a size 5.

 

[SSN Vet]

justification.....carpe' diem

when baby #1 turned into curious toddler #1.....
time to put the night stand .357 into a new GunVault.....

when squirrels ambushed the bird feeder for the 50th time....and this time knocked it down and smashed it.......

need a .22

when wife saw a cayotee trotting around the yard.....
.22 won't cut it...need a 30-30

when the video store we always go to was robbed at gun point......
hello PT-111

When road rage jerk trailed my wife for over 3 miles after she inadvertantly pulled out in front of her ....

time for that CCW isn't it Dear?

I'm hoping for a Big Foot sighting any day now

Remember...."Though shalt not bear false witness (lie)"

No need to go there....just get creative and sieze the day

 

[El Barto]

I'm in the allowance camp. I get a certain amount each week as my play money and sometimes I have to save up to get something. I do have a responsibility to take care of my family and as some of you know, kids always need something and their needs come first.

Just recently I have been able to add to my small collection and the Mrs. hasn't had a complaint yet about what I buy as I am always upfront with my intentions. Of course, I don't complain to her about her purse collection, but I do wonder what I can buy with her 6 Coach bags.

The good thing is that I like milsurps!

 

[dawgtraxx]

My wife is very cool about it...she doesnt ask ..i dont tell
however....


It is easier to ask for forgiveness...than permission

 

[SomeKid]

I am with Duned. No pandering to the woman. When I bought my Mosin Nagant last week, I bought it. When I bought my CMP Garand, I bought it. I earned the money, and nobody will whine at me when I decide where to spend it (and nobody does, because I am awesome with my finances...they also know it will get them nothing).

One thing I have taught multiple girlfriends, they are replaceable, my lifestyle is not.

 

[TrapperReady]

My wife and I have been married for nearly 15 years, although we were together for a few years before that. As long as we've been married, we've always pooled our money. Neither one of us is controlling. Neither one of us is secretive. When we are spending a lot of money on something, we talk about it beforehand... otherwise, we just inform each other after the money's been spent.

One thing that helps is that we truly enjoy spending time together, so our hobbies are almost always things in which we are bother interested. To that end, we're both shooters. I've got more guns that are earmarked as "mine", but as it works out, she's got the most expensive (and custom-fitted) gun we own.

Personally, I've always been a bit uneasy about our friends who maintain "his and hers" accounts and jealously guard their own finances. Then again, I've seen people get screwed over in a divorce. I guess marriage is just one of those things where you should probably pick wisely or not at all.

 

[distra]

For me being married has not been a problem for expensive habits such as bicycles or shooting. The key for me has been to get my wife interested in the hobby. She used to ride and race a lot in the late '90's and now shoots we me when she can. I'm careful, don't go overboard with purchases and if she needs/wants something we work it out so neither one us has to "do without". My collection is small and we shoot each one of the firearms regularly so it's really a non-issue for us. Plus, she's too busy taking care of our son to...oh s***t!...whew! the flying shoe missed me Just kidding. My son does keep her busy and shooting keeps me sane

 

[Barbara]

Ayup..and these threads always leave me pretty certain I've made the right choice. I buy my own stuff and don't have to worry about someone lying to me.

 

[smince]

My wife didn't have any hobbies when we got married. I introduced her to shooting and self defense. Now when one of us gets interested in buying or trading for another gun, the other usually is all for it (unless it is a really bad deal). She attends gun shows with me and we shoot together. No sneaking around and trying to hide things required.

We are now introducing our 6-year old son to the sport.

 

[Omaha-BeenGlockin]

If any of my women friends(girl friend sounds too teeny) ---yes multiple---show any control or manipulation issues--they'll be shown the door poste haste. I work hard--pay my bills---show them a good time and I'll be spending my money when I want on what I want. No marriage plans here---somthing about free milk and a cow

The only females in my life that have me wrapped around their finger are my daughters. And I keep them quite separate from my female friends.

 

[G.I.Bill]

This has never been an issue for me. When I met my girl I was carrying a loaded rifle wearing fatigues with sand in my face and hair way too long to be within regs. She was also in uniform and was no stranger to automatic weapons. When we met she new I was a gun nut just from the job I held. When we returned to the states and became more than friends we started doing everything together, to include at least once a week range trips. Now I buy guns specifically for her.

 

[real_name]

My only problem isn't the money I spend but where I spend it.
If she finds out that I ever spent any money at Wal*Mart on ammo I get a lot of grief.

 

[redbone]

Not a problem for me. But, my wife has a $10,000 sewing machine, so what's a few guns?

RBH

 

[Roccobro]

Cut and paste of what Ravencon says. "My wife has horses. Compared to that, guns are a cheap, cheap hobby." I don't ask how much her "ponies" chew out of our finances, and she doesn't ask prices on any of my hobby stuff.

Justin

 

[roscoe]

Just be sure it has no real impact on the family finances. Maybe you don't need to get the $1800 DPMS Panther, and can get your semi-auto jollies with a $100 SKS, a $250 Saiga or $400 SU16. You can get plenty of firepower for less money if you don't have to have the most tactical looking gear. If it has an impact on your ability to pay the mortgage, she is probably right to be mad. When there is a limited budget, especially when you are young, sometimes toys have to wait.

I recommend honesty, however, if you want to make it work.

You can really tell some people's ages by their post in this thread.

 

[bobaloo]

Couple weeks ago my wife was reading ar15.com and found a link to 7.62x39 on sale for $94 a case. She told me I was running low and had better buy 3 or 4 cases while it was on sale and available.

Believe me, I've got complaints, but guns ain't one of them.

The way we handle finances is like this. I take a set amount of my check each month, about 10 percent, and that's "my money" to spend on whatever the heck I want. The other 90 percent goes into the joint checking account to pay bills, etc. With two kids in college things are a little tight, but that gives me $300-$400 per month of mad money which goes mainly for guns and ammo and "supplies". When I sell something that was bought out of that money it goes back into my kitty. She has a small business she operates and pays whatever bills she can out of her income and buys her own toys out of her income.

Next month it will be 25 years, so it's worked ok most of the time. I heartily agree that if you don't like them just the way they are don't marry them, they're not going to change, at least not for long.

 

[Roccobro]

Bobaloo- You've got a keeper!

Justin

 

[Zundfolge]

Just be sure it has no real impact on the family finances. Maybe you don't need to get the $1800 DPMS Panther, and can get your semi-auto jollies with a $100 SKS, a $250 Saiga or $400 SU16.

Good point.

When I said my wife was the most miserly person I'd met, I should follow that up with; before I met her I was the most miserly person I've ever known.

We're both very budget conscious and both pretty thrifty/cheap but she's just a bit more than I


I wish she had some expensive hobbies ... clothes and shoes are about it for her, but even then she's got Ross and TJ Maxx so she's been able to put together multi thousand dollar wardrobe for just a few bucks.

 

[craig]

my wife's a bigger gun nut than me.
the only problem i have is that we have to switch off on gun buying.
i buy one, then it's her turn. it gets expensive, but it's FUN.

 

[depicts]

Once in awhile I get a bonus, and I split it with my wife. We do what we want with that money. It means two or more guns a year to me.

Then there is the fact that almost all guns look the same to her. The month I bought the S&W 640 and the checkbook said $169, because the rest was cash, was the same month I bought a nickel S&W Mod 34 Kit gun. She doesn't look close enough to see the difference, so as long as the mortgage and bills are paid, and we go out to dinner, she's pretty happy.

Lately she's been trying to get me to downsize our house. She said to me the other day, "Let me put it in words YOU can understand...it would mean you could buy another gun every month on what we save on utilities, taxes and mortgage". Sure she says that now...but we'll see.

I recently learned a new trick also, and I'm not proud of it, but it saves a lot of arguing. Since I do the checkbook, I will write an extra $100 as paid on some bill, but send less. I keep track of this "surplus" amount, until it gets up around revolver territory. At that point I make a cash withdrawal and buy the gun. I just hope she doesn't see the monthly bank statement. So far so good.

She has her own business, and I don't ask her to contribute to home expenses, her money is hers, so I really don't feel too bad about my little deceptions. She chooses massage and manicures, I chooose S&W's