Springfield Armory EMP SAO 1911 9+1 (single-stack mags) - 3 of them) 9mm
I am shocked that it took 33 posts for anyone to mention this gun. I am not particularly interested in the EMP myself, but the ones I have and shot and handled were superb guns.
The .380 that you can shoot is better than the .357 you can't. Is it something of an anemic round? Yes, but that doesn't mean that it isn't effective. On the whole, I think there are better choices, but I wouldn't feel unprotected with a .380 either. In fact, I own a Kel-Tec P3AT!
Used guns are a perfectly valid way to get what you want, as long as you take the time to inspect the gun properly instead of getting new gun fever. Read through this and other gun forums and you will see plenty of complaints about new guns. Don't worry excessively about how much it has been shot. Properly cared for (which is generally evident on inspection) most all guns will outlive you. Even improperly cared for isn't a death sentence if you know what your doing. I bought a Taurus PT-99 (very cheaply) that had tons of holster wear and mud on it, and darned if it wasn't one of the most accurate pistols I have ever had. Ran like a champ, too. I sold that gun, and I sort of regret it, although I have a stainless PT-99, so I don't regret it that much.
From what you have said, I have to agree with the suggestion for a Makarov. Between that and the EMP, I would be somewhat surprised if you didn't like one or the other. While not particularly small, you might also consider a Browning Hi-Power. It's more of a service pistol, but it is easily concealed and has a great reputation.
