I'm so tactical I went back in time and halted the JFK assassination by deflecting Oswald's bullets off of my beard stubble, unfortunately Kennedy's head exploded out of shear amazement as he was a weak minded liberal!
I'm so tactical I don't read books, I stare them down until I get the information I want out of them.
I'm so tactical I killed two stones with one bird!
I'm so tactical I destroyed the periodic table of elements because the only element I recognize is the element of surprise.
When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool of water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, rather the water gets Chuck Norris. Then when Chuck Norris gets out of the pool covered in freshly Chuck Norris'ed water, he sees me and cries like Nancy Kerrigan because he knows his roundhouse kick is no match for my tactical beard!
I'm so tactical the bogeyman checks his closet for me before he goes to bed every night!