crawdaddy
Member
Alright, I need some help...What is a mall ninja?
Mall Ninja?
- Thread starter crawdaddy
- Start date
- Status
The ultimate wannabe;replete with a truckload of tacticool-bubba'd gear.
Usually seen in malls(BAD NINJA!-I SAW YOU!)...
Think of a 25 year ol dguy in 1989....wearing old jungle cammies....and talking about is service ...in 'Nam.
Usually seen in malls(BAD NINJA!-I SAW YOU!)...
Think of a 25 year ol dguy in 1989....wearing old jungle cammies....and talking about is service ...in 'Nam.
cyclopsshooter
Member
so that guy they caught pretending to be a survivor of 911 and a war hero can be classified as a mall ninja?
GZOh_Jr
Member
Pretending to be a war hero and/or survivor makes you scum, but not necessarily a mall ninja.
I take them to be anyone without any military or law enforcement connection who feels the need to have tactical/spec ops/special forces gear/accessories/attachments.
A few gadgets here and there are admittedly cool, but too much makes you kind of a .... wannabe.
I take them to be anyone without any military or law enforcement connection who feels the need to have tactical/spec ops/special forces gear/accessories/attachments.
A few gadgets here and there are admittedly cool, but too much makes you kind of a .... wannabe.
It all started with Gecko_45 and his epic story!
Here's a link to the best archived copy of the craziness.
http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/
Here's a link to the best archived copy of the craziness.
http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/
John Parker
Member
- Joined
- May 14, 2009
- Messages
- 679
Gecko_45 was a satirist poking fun at the absurdity of what was to become the Mall-Ninja.
cyclopsshooter
Member
so having never served but still owning a stock S&W M&P15 does not make me a mall ninja?
John Parker
Member
- Joined
- May 14, 2009
- Messages
- 679
No...but tricking it completely out and making up stories about that time you took out some Hajis in 'the Box' would. Mall Ninjas are the guys who think that gear makes up for a lack of training, training, training.
crawdaddy
Member
I'm almost sorry I asked...I could have gone the rest of my life and not "known" about the "swat mall cops". I have met people like that but Gecko_45 takes the cake. Thanks for the education.
ljnowell
Member
You never know when you will need to climb up walls.
JAV8000
Member
Mall Ninja= a (out of shape) guy with a 5.56 AR15 that weighs over nine pounds.
yongxingfreesty
Member
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2005
- Messages
- 1,396
^^ the above is a mall ninja.
ar15s with all the tactical accessories too.
ar15s with all the tactical accessories too.
JAV8000
Member
yup, that's a mall ninja. Good god, is that real?
bikerdoc
Moderator In Memoriam
Think Dufus.
A mall ninja hasnt got the paperwork or skills to back up his claims.
He needs to be challanged, embarassed, and in most cases given a wedgy, swirly, and have his swat pants run up a flag pole
A mall ninja hasnt got the paperwork or skills to back up his claims.
He needs to be challanged, embarassed, and in most cases given a wedgy, swirly, and have his swat pants run up a flag pole
Prion
Member
No, that's what turned the poor sap into a mall ninja.
A mall ninja is anyone with tacticool gear they will never be close to needing but believe they do. Accompanied by lies to justify this belief.
Just because someone has cool tactical gear or firearms doesn't make them a mall ninja just a collector. As long as they understand the difference between want and need.
I always think of the "Mall Ninja" when I see Dog the Bounty Hunter and his crew. They're like a Delta Force wannabe team with all of the crazy crap they carry. Dog's gunslinger pepper spray rig looks like he's sporting two fire extinguishers on his hips.
mcdonl
Member
Or the A-hole who buys every round off the shelf at Wally World because he thinks the world is coming to an end and he wants to be prepared, or that ammo will become non-existant....
Seems like there are more mall ninjas around then care to out themselves.....
Or are these the Zombie hunters? Either way, please show up at the next IDPA shoot in my area... I need ammo.
Perfect definition:
" Dog the Bounty Hunter and his crew. They're like a Delta Force
wannabe team with all of the crazy crap they carry. Dog's gunslinger
pepper spray rig looks like he's sporting two fire extinguishers on his hips."
Because every Mall-Ninja I've ever seen has, deep in its heart, wanted to be "made." I've heard that since Cur Bounty-man is a very convicted felon, he cannot even TOUCH a weapon -- not even handcuffs. So it MAY JUST REALLY BE fire extinguishers in his jodphurs. He is not even allowed to drive legally, but is more than happy that his M-Ninja status has been revealed. And how about the airsoft "machine" guns his troopers carry? Here is my description of one local Mall Ninja (but he also haunts the public library teen-room "looking to bust up drug deals.") He is just out of high school, heavily bearded all over his exposed skin, wears 'Nam jungle-boots with laced-in zippers, well shined, O.D. wool-sox, always pulled up high and then rolled down, all-black clothes, usually "great white hunter" shorts and "tactical" shirt with at least 8 pockets in each, all stuffed with hard, small unidentifiable objects, and a PLO/Arafat shmagh either around his neck, or sometimes wrapped on top of his head. No goggles tho'. Completes it with a 2-water-bladder backpack in desert-sand camo. packed full of (I think) MRES and books and manuals on how to E&E any invading forces. Takes the longest strides possible when walking, and hits the heels real hard. Has a scabbard without knIfe strapped on the INSIDE OF EACH CALF. And wears HUGE watch-type contraptions on each wrist. If I'm quick I'll get a shot of him from the back and post it.
" Dog the Bounty Hunter and his crew. They're like a Delta Force
wannabe team with all of the crazy crap they carry. Dog's gunslinger
pepper spray rig looks like he's sporting two fire extinguishers on his hips."
Because every Mall-Ninja I've ever seen has, deep in its heart, wanted to be "made." I've heard that since Cur Bounty-man is a very convicted felon, he cannot even TOUCH a weapon -- not even handcuffs. So it MAY JUST REALLY BE fire extinguishers in his jodphurs. He is not even allowed to drive legally, but is more than happy that his M-Ninja status has been revealed. And how about the airsoft "machine" guns his troopers carry? Here is my description of one local Mall Ninja (but he also haunts the public library teen-room "looking to bust up drug deals.") He is just out of high school, heavily bearded all over his exposed skin, wears 'Nam jungle-boots with laced-in zippers, well shined, O.D. wool-sox, always pulled up high and then rolled down, all-black clothes, usually "great white hunter" shorts and "tactical" shirt with at least 8 pockets in each, all stuffed with hard, small unidentifiable objects, and a PLO/Arafat shmagh either around his neck, or sometimes wrapped on top of his head. No goggles tho'. Completes it with a 2-water-bladder backpack in desert-sand camo. packed full of (I think) MRES and books and manuals on how to E&E any invading forces. Takes the longest strides possible when walking, and hits the heels real hard. Has a scabbard without knIfe strapped on the INSIDE OF EACH CALF. And wears HUGE watch-type contraptions on each wrist. If I'm quick I'll get a shot of him from the back and post it.
jdub102003
Member
I was going to post a sweet pic of my bullet proof 98 ranger that I equipped with 2 .50 cals in the bed this weekend but now I'm pissed so I'm going to do 1 arm pushups wearing a weight vest while watching reruns of resident evil!
- Status
