Moving to Canada After the Election (humor)

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Mad Man

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Joy of Tech November 03, 2004...

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...and the updated version later that day.

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[BLOCKQUOTE]
http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=domesticNews&storyID=6704292

Unhappy Democrats Need to Wait to Get Into Canada
Wed Nov 3, 2004 01:16 PM ET

By David Ljunggren

OTTAWA (Reuters) - Disgruntled Democrats seeking a safe Canadian haven after President Bush won Tuesday's election should not pack their bags just yet.

Canadian officials made clear on Wednesday that any U.S. citizens so fed up with Bush that they want to make a fresh start up north would have to stand in line like any other would-be immigrants -- a wait that can take up to a year.

"You just can't come into Canada and say 'I'm going to stay here'. In other words, there has to be an application. There has to be a reason why the person is coming to Canada," said immigration ministry spokeswoman Maria Iadinardi.

There are anywhere from 600,000 to a million Americans living in Canada, a country that leans more to the left than the United States and has traditionally favored the Democrats over the Republicans.

But recent statistics show a gradual decline in U.S. citizens coming to work in Canada, which has a creaking publicly funded healthcare system and relatively high levels of personal taxation.

Government officials, real estate brokers and Democrat activists said that while some Americans might talk about a move to Canada rather than living with a new Bush administration, they did not expect a mass influx.

"It's one thing to say 'I'm leaving for Canada' and quite another to actually find a job here and wonder about where you're going to live and where the children are going to go to school," said one government official.

Roger King of the Toronto-based Democrats Abroad group said he had heard nothing to back up talk of a possible exodus of party members.

"I imagine most committed Democrats will want to stay in the United States and continue being politically active there," he told Reuters.

Americans seeking to immigrate can apply to become permanent citizens of Canada, a process that often takes a year. Becoming a full citizen takes a further three years.

The other main way to move north on a long-term basis is to find a job, which in all cases requires a work permit. This takes from four to six months to come through.

Official statistics show the number of U.S. workers entering Canada dropped to 15,789 in 2002 from 21,627 in 2000. Early indicators on Wednesday showed little sign of this changing.

A spokesman for Canada's foreign affairs ministry said there had been no increase in the number of hits on the Washington embassy's immigration Web site, while housing brokers said they doubted they would see a surge in U.S. business.

"Canada's always open and welcoming to Americans who want to relocate here, but we don't think it would be a trend or movement," said Gino Romanese of Royal Lepage Residential Real Estate Services in Toronto.

Those wishing to move to Canada could always take a risk and claim refugee status -- the path chosen earlier this year by two U.S. deserters who opposed the war in Iraq.

"Anybody who enters Canada who claims refugee status will be provided with a work permit ... it doesn't matter what country they're from," Iadinardi said.

Refugee cases are handled by special boards, which can take months to decide whether to admit applicants. The rulings can be appealed and opposition politicians complain some people ordered deported have been in Canada for 10 years or more.
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There's an idiot here at work whining that he should leave the USA because of the election.

I printed him a map to the border and offered him a drive.
 
I thought the DemoRATs didn't like guns - why would she want to take a misnamed "assault rifle" with her?

Maybe she wants to commit suicide in Canada. Best of luck to her!

LOL :D
 
"...There's an idiot..." Thanks, but no thanks. We have enough idiots here now. Sadly, they keep getting elected by other idiots they imported.
You could always ship him to Mexico though.
 
I've got to go to Toronto on business next week. Maybe I'll tell them at the border that I'm the advance party looking for a big field so they can set up their tent city :D .
 
Back in 1775 we had a family feud and booted some folks out

and two centuries two decades later they throw themselves on the hearth of the House of Hannover. Now they'll have to learn to sing "Oh Canada!" and lick postage stamps with the Queen on it. :)
 
The waiting time to become a citizen is shorter for people married to Canadians, which prompted the birth of a satirical Web site called www.marryanamerican.ca.

The idea of increased immigration by unhappy Americans is triggering some amusement in Canada. Commentator Thane Burnett of the Ottawa Sun newspaper wrote a tongue-in-cheek guide to would-be new citizens on Friday.

"As Canadians, you'll have to learn to embrace and use all the products and culture of Americans, while bad-mouthing their way of life," he said.

K.
 
Since we are on the subject of unhappy Democrats,

Democrats: SPECIAL OFFER FROM CARNIVAL CRUISE LINES!

We at Carnival Cruise Lines are not forgetting that a lot of entertainers promised to leave the country if George W.Bush were to be re-elected President.

With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who still want to keep their promise!

Attention: Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell and her "wife", Ed Asner, Janneane Garafalo, Whoopi Goldberg, Al Franken, Michael Moore, Cher, Phil Donahue, Rob Reiner(apparently still a "meathead"), Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, and the entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone else who made that promise, please dispose of all US assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elation," which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan.

You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq or some similar sunny location.

The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.

Please pack for an extended stay... at least FOUR MORE YEARS.

Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any.

Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, John Edwards as cruise director, and Gray Davis, as Purser (the guy in charge of managing the money). "Teh-RAY-sah" Heinz Kerry hopefully will be shoved somewhere below decks away from the media.

Monica Lewinsky will be the "Cigar and Cigarette Girl". Entertainment will be provided by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce Springsteen, and movies will be shown each evening by Michael Moore.

John Kerry will be our Life Guard based on his past experience of pulling people out of the water. He is also in charge of games and has eliminated "shuffleboard" in favor of his new game he calls "waffleboard". Be sure to pack your flip flops as you will need them while playing.

Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender and back-up Life Guard. He only qualifies as back-up Life Guard since his experience in rescuing people from drowning has not been too successful.

Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will provide inspirational services, and Al Franken will give inspirational talks each afternoon.

If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please contact Senator Hillary Clinton. Her "village" can raise your children while you're gone, and she can watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.

"Bon Voyage!"

ZM
 
I need the list

Is there a verifiable list of celebs who preferred exile over Dubya? I'm working on a project, and I need names and sources.
 
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