When it comes to a handgun that fits your hand and points naturally, the best thing you can do is handle/rent a bunch of guns, when you find "The Right One", you'll know…
it'll be the one that points naturally and settles comfortably in your hands, it'll feel like an extension of your arms
a few hints I found that work for me;
1; Weight is your freind- don't be afraid of a heavy gun, weight absorbs felt recoil, and makes it easier to keep your sights on target, lighter guns are easier to carry, but they transmit more felt recoil to the shooter
2; there are different kinds of recoil, common descriptors are "pushy", "whippy", "snappy", etc…
let's compare a 9mm Glock 17 to a 9mm CZ-75B, the Glock is a lightweight polymer body pistol, the CZ is a steel pistol, they both shoot the same ammo
the Glock's recoil has a bit of muzzle "flip" when fired, the muzzle of the gun rotates upward and back towards the shooter while the body of the pistol is pushes back towards the shooter, it's a "snappy" recoil, the Glock also has a subtle balance shift towards the muzzle as the magazine is emptied
the CZ is a heavier gun, when it's fired, the muzzle has a slight rise, and the gun is pushed straight back towards the shooter, it's a far more linear recoil, closer to the recoil of a 1911 style .45, a Browning High Power would have a similar linear recoil, the balance of the gun does not shift as the mag empties, thanks to the weight of the steel frame
both guns are excellent platforms, it comes down to which one fits your hand better
as far as the .45ACP goes, it has a "straight back" recoil, with an almost imperceptible muzzle rise, a very manageable, pleasant recoil (at least to me)
3; Revolvers have a sharper recoil impulse than semiautos, mainly because the semiauto uses some of the recoil energy to chamber the next round, some recoil energy goes into compressing the recoil spring by moving the slide rearwards, a revolver transmits most of the recoil impulse into the shooters hand, there's nothing to absorb recoil energy in the frame of the revolver, you can install cushioned grips to mitigate some of the recoil though
The best bet for a handgun that shouldn't aggravate your arthritis, you'd want a handgun that fires low-pressure rounds, low pressure rounds have less felt recoil than high-pressure rounds
Low pressure; 38 Special (revolver), .45 ACP (semiauto)
Medium pressure; 9mm, 38 Special +P
High pressure; .357 Magnum (revolver) .357 SIG (semi), .40S&W (semi), 10mm (semi)
4; longer barrels are more accurate, and reduce felt recoil, but are harder to carry concealed, short barrels are easier to conceal, and lighter, but are less accurate, noisier, and harder to keep on target, they also tend to increase felt recoil
Brands aside (that's a personal preference), I'd recommend .38 Special in a revolver, 9mm and ,45ACP in a semiauto
