"Never tell a soul about your CCW"

Status
Not open for further replies.
I herd about CCW..

since I live in Ill-inois and can't carry, I"ve heard stories about a guy who told no-one not even his wife since she knew about his guns and that it was "illegal" to carry. He felt secure and confident in carrying even to church and on occasion had to step away to avoid metal detectors etc. When nothing happens it is never a consideration and if some day something does happen it would be an added level of choice that doesn't exist for the non armed.
 
Discretion is the better part of Valor..

...

For a future wife, or girlfriend, that you may want as a life-long-friend, I would definitely let her know that I carried. Sure, her response may be negative at first, it's a fear factor of the unknown, or uneducated in proper use of, and safety rules, applied, around firearms.

It was no different when I got my first 2 guns, my wife was on edge when she just saw them or I practiced dry-firing, etc. But, over a short period of time, around 2 months as I recall, she got used to them, thru trust, that they just don't go Bang!! on their own.

Then when I bought her her first gun, a Sig P232 380, same deal.. She was afraid to handle it, let alone go to the range for the first time. But time is the key, and she got educated, and learned, and applies the rules of safety and the sight, and sound of them, as well.

This should be the approach to your girlfriend, and any close friends that you think may have an interest in guns. Show them the right way, and you teach a man/person to be a respected Gun owner to multitudes.

Not saying your are but, your LARGE type indicates tone, anger, yelling, etc., along with use of foul language, and may say something about your temper being short fused, along with your stance of, "bite me if ya don't like it."

Again, I don't know you, but your friends do, and your actions, determine a lot about your having a gun around them. Many that buy a gun, do so with a reason. Many, once they learn correctly, taught correctly, become different, temper wise, with such a responsibility. I hope this is the case here.

And as mentioned, and I agree, I just don't tell too many people that I own guns, let alone CCW.. Desecration is the better part of Valor, my friend.

IMHO


LS
 
You open yourself and those you tell up to various claims of liability and lawsuits under varying conditions. It's still your choice to make- "better to be judged by 12..." and all that- but it's not without potentially significant legal consequences.

It's one thing if you're making decisions based on well thought out policies or moral disposition... it's another if it's because you're too thin skinned to take how your "friends" feel about you or unable to articulate or convey to them reasonable reasons why you won't be going with them.

It depends on your attitude towards your carry piece. If it's there to guard against the gravest extreme and a reasonable precaution against such things, then you probably would be likely to have similar attitudes towards taking reasonable precautions against lawsuits and liability. If it's just a talisman or part of macho costume, then it's no big deal to carry it nor is it a big deal to talk about it. The vast majority of carried guns fall into the latter circumstance (even if the first is in the back of the mind or paid lip service) and will likely never be used in a defense of any sort so gab away if you so desire.
 
When?

My wife is aware that I have a CCW and sometimes carry. By mutual understanding she does not know "when" I carry. The point being that if TSHTF she cannot give away the fact that I'm carrying by her actions. And I don't want the trolls to know if I'm carrying, I might want to draw when they arn't looking. (Fair fights belong in square rings.)

I'd apply the same policy to any close friend or relative who might know that I sometimes carry, but there are darn few of them.
 
Others gain more than a little bravado when in your company,
Click to expand...

I have noticed this in a friend that I have known for many years.
I asked him why me carrying lead him to suddenly having an endowment
enlargement (not exactly in those words). Now-a-days my answer to "am I
carrying" (if asked) is "what do you think"?

The only people who know now are blood, and close friends (very few) then
there are the guys and gals I shoot with. They are of like mind and we openly
talk about such things. SO always know. If they don't like it they can leave but
so far I have chosen well.

I do discuss CCW/target shooting with people that I know and may see an
opening to introduce someone to the world of 2A. I'd like to think I'm a fairly
good judge of character.

No one knows exactly what or how many I have. Thats a strict nunya.
 
There are a number of images that come to mind when I think of folks I know who carry concealed. Let me offer this analogy: I used to be serious about body building, so of course weight training for muscle mass was a big deal. I did it because it made me feel better physically, I looked better because I was fit and of course I liked the fact that my bride was a bit more into me in those days. That was a lifetime ago and gravity is a ruthless master.

Some guys would intentionally wear clothing that showed off their physic, some would walk around with their chest swelled and lats spread like a cobra's hood, and they had that strut thing going on. LOOK AT ME! I"M BIG, I"M BAD AND I'M BEAUTIFUL! SHOWER ME WITH YOUR EYES! FEAST ON MY HUNKINESS!

Other guys were big, quiet, wore loose fitting clothing and were very humble. You;d never know they were builders unless you saw them at the gym of at a competition.

In the CCW world you have these people. Some have legitimate reasons to carry due to the line of work they're in. Some carry because Uncle Harry carries and he's cool. Some carry because they used to get the crap beat out of them at lunch, their lunch or lunch money taken and never learned to fight back. Some carry because they are truly scared by the news they read in the local paper and paranoia requires a gun.

Far be it from me to determine who should or should not carry. I used to carry. I didn't need to, I hadn't been threatened, I didn't carry large sums of money. I just carried because I could. I didn't advertise it and I didn't let the looks people gave me when the gun was briefly exposed bother me. It was part of my attire. There was a day when during a discussion the question was asked; "What would you do if someone tried to mug you at an ATM?"

I replied with "I'd say a quick prayer that the Lord would give him better sense than to bother me, and be prepared to pray for forgiveness because I ''d just shot him." When I realized how serious I was and how wrong I could be, I decided to stop with the first prayer. I haven't carried since, nor have I had a time when I thought I should start again.

I know of permitted carriers who have had their weapons taken from them because they didn't have the brass to use it once pulled, and others who have wrongfully shot people because they didn't take time to read and understand the situation.

This ain't no bash folks,...it's just a bit of what I've seen with my eyes, felt in my heart and the reason I changed my mind.

That's all,
 
my friends carry concealed so they know about it. close friends and family know, but not people I just met or know for a short time.
 
I asked her to imagine if a person taking responsibility for the lives of his students like that was allowed to carry a handgun and recieved training on a non-obligatory level, would he maybe have saved the lives of many? Then I ran her through the idea of any student being able to carry. She was quiet for a little while until she asked, "So how much do one of those cost?"

The next day we went to a local gunstore and ended up deciding on a Taurus PT111. Now she just needs to save a little this summer to pay for the CCW permit, gun, and enough ammo to train with it.
Click to expand...

She went from total ignorance/rejection to rational position in half an hour on a subject as emotional and serious as this?
Have you any appreciation how rarely that happens!?
Marry her, and buy her a good gun for a wedding gift.

miko
Click to expand...
Granted I am a charismatic guy, I think it had largely to do with the fact that she was highly impacted by the VT shootings. I live a very close to college campus, although I have graduated, and she still goes to class. I think the news really hit home for her. She is a smart cookie and probably one of the most practical people (not just woman) that I know.

I resent that last comment. My next gun will be a taurus PT145. Thats a discussion for another thread though :)

The conversation took place over more than five minutes mind you. This was over cooking dinner, eating dinner, and a bit after dinner. Also from the beginning she wasnt in a state of TOTAL ignorance/rejection. Just a little of those. She says she still can't fathom actually carrying. I told her no one does until they do. She'll get used to it.

I failed to mention that she is my roomate and probably friend until the end's girlfriend. My game comes late. *shrug*
 
My wife knows and 2 buddies that I was in the USMC with know. The wife knows when because she sees me put it on. The other two are smart enough to figure it out but never ask and never bring it up. My wife was part of this chat board for Marine wives and the topic of hand guns came up, She was considerate enough to come and ask me if she could post that we own firearms and that I have a CCP. I told her that its fine that people know that we have guns but don't tell them about the CCP. That was the only time she asked other than that she keeps pretty mum about the whole subject
 
It's a balancing act.

Truely, don't give out the info quickly and easily. Often such people come across as trying to be "badass"

I don't think only God, your wife, and you need to know.

If you would lend a friend a weeks paycheck without hesitation, yea, you are probably all right telling them that.

Other friends might not turn out as reliable as you hope. Part of it is 9 out of 10 friends will be fine, but one friend being stupid about it and bringing it up at the wrong time, assuming you will be his personal bodyguard and startin fights, or whatever, maybe just blabermouthing it around way too much, and you ahve trouble.

Also, the more people who know you carry, and know specifics of what you carry, the more you open yourself up to person A tells person B, person B gets mad at you for something and concocts a story about you, using real details of your firearm to make it seem more convincing
 
I have a completely different philsophy than most people on the subject...

I told everyone I know. At the same time, I encouraged every able-bodied person to go through the process. I told them that I would help them do it. I became a firearms instructor so that I could, and whatever friends of mine wanted to do it, I did the classes for free.

Share the love.

This had several benefits:

1. I made some extra friends.
2. Some of the friends I had became competent to protect themselves.
3. I didn't have to slink around like I was hiding something or doing something wrong or weird because I had a gun under my jacket.
4. I wasn't paranoid about it. I'm paranoid enough as it is.
5. When asked by someone, "You carry a GUN!?", I can say, "Yeah. Most of the people I know do. Why don't you? If you'd like, I can help you..."
6. The anti-gun fruitcakes that used to call me, don't call me anymore.
7. Fruitcakes in general don't call me.
8. There are plenty of people I can borrow ammo from in a pinch.
9. It aggravated my brother-in-law to no end. (Until, of course, he finally broke down and bought a gun and got his permit...)
10. Now almost all the neighbors (except one) on my block are not just armed, they're all trained too. I gave 'em all the shotgun class as a bonus. Talk about neighborhood watch...
11. Lots of people in my office building carry now, including my boss.
12. I have more shooting buddies than I can shake a stick at. (Not that I would bring a stick to a gunfight anyway...but you get the idea...)

There have, of course, been some drawbacks:

1...

Um... Can't think of any off the top of my head...

Nio
 
I could care less who knows that I have a CC permit and often carry a handgun. Everyone I know knows that shooting is one of my hobbies and the question of whether I have a concealed permit inevitably comes up in conversation. I usually whip it out and show it to them so they can see what a concealed handgun permit looks like. No big deal.
 
I don't care if you know I carry. If I'm talking to you and the issue of CCW comes up, you're probably a friend. It's not like I go around announcing to everyone that I carry. Besides, when the issue of CCW comes up most people are curious. For the most part, when we start talking about it I convince people to get the permit themselves.
 
I'll play.

Basically, be very selective about who you tell. I don't mean you should avoid the subject in conversation, you should support the 2nd A and advocate gun rights, but, a little discretion goes a long way, day-to-day. Clearly,those with whom you are intimate or share space probably need to know. But set limits. That's all.

My learning experience: Just after I got my VA CHP I was all proud of myself and let on to a couple we socialized with one evening when we were going out to the movies that I was 'packing'.

While we standing in line, there were a couple of late-teen hip-hoppies about 10' ahead of us, and a couple of their hommies came up and wanted to but in with them. Too their credit, the guys said 'no', and their friends started horsing around (just noisy teenage shuck & jive), but my friend's wife found it threatening and said, "You've got a gun, do something . . !!!" (oh, MERDE!!!)

Well, things got pretty quiet pretty quickly, and I got a bunch of looks, but I said, (loudly) " . . . that butting in line wasn't a shooting offense in VA. . . ", and things just sort of evaporated. The hommies went to the back of the line, and that was that

Bottom line: Be selective about who you tell, and make shure they have some idea of what the 2nd A, and CCW is about, and why discretion is important. FWIW.
 
I don't subscribe to the "Don't tell anyone" philosophy, nor the "Just tell [family,wife,shootinbuddies] philosophy". I tell certain individuals, especially if they are interested in carrying themselves. Be careful who you tell though, and make sure that they understand that it is between you only. I had my brother pat me down jokingly twice before I straightened him out.
 
shooter
I have done my best to prevent letting friends know that I carry. Now, many of my friends think I am being deceptive and hiding something. There have been times that I have had to leave my group of friends without any warning, because I could not enter a bar with my CCW or go into another state (Oregon doesn't recognize my WA CPL, the bastards).
Click to expand...

my advice would be to take a deep breath, and try to get a better grip on reality my friend. I say that in the kindest possible way. You are WAY too intense about this, and frankly, its just not that important. :rolleyes:
 
XLMiguel makes the most important point, I think.

It's not so much a matter of whether your "friends" will argue with you or abandon you if/when they find out you've got a gun. It's more a matter of stupid people can get you killed by saying something stupid at a bad time.

Now of course the threadstarter's fiancee isn't necessarily a stupid person. But it's not going to be enough just to tell her he carries -- he has to tell her the whole deal, including the bits about not saying something likely to get him killed if he can't act right away when something happens.

I had that conversation with my mom, awhile back. We were travelling together. She's known for awhile that I carry, but wasn't sure about road trip rules. So when we got in the car, she said something about the laws while travelling. I said, "Oooh, good point. Let's talk about that ..." and then I proceeded to explain that if somebody tried to rob us or worse, the WORST thing she could do would be to look at me and say, "shoot him!" I told her there wasn't any chance at all that I would forget there was a gun on my hip in a situation like that, and that if I didn't act right away it would be because I was working to set up the best way to protect us both. It was a good conversation and she understood what I was saying.

With someone you're about to marry, that conversation becomes even more critical. To my way of thinking, there are several salient points you have to get across:

1) Following the law is important to me. That's why I have a permit, etc ...

2) Safety is important to me. Here are the steps I've taken to prevent accidental and/or negligent discharges.

3) YOUR safety is important to me. I know this is a lot to ask of you, but would you consider taking a class in firearms safety with me? Firearms are part of my life, and if you are going to live with me in a house that has a gun in it, I want to know that you know what the law is and how to be safe in a home with gun.

4) I will never, ever, ever shoot anyone who is not trying to kill or permanently maim me or someone I love. The gun is not for threatening people, it isn't for settling traffic disputes, it isn't for feeling macho. It's only to save my life or your life or the life of someone we love and care about when there are NO other choices.

5) Please don't say something dangerous in a dicey situation ... (see above).

That was general advice, not just for Shooter McGavin. But for him specifically: hey, go get your Oregon permit. It's not that difficult, as long as you look for an issuing authority outside of the Portland metroplex. As an added bonus, Oregon allows concealed carry in bars, so instead of ditching the group you can direct your crowd to an Oregon-side bar and volunteer to be the designated driver without having to disarm.

pax
 
that was general advice, not just for Shooter McGavin. But for him specifically: hey, go get your Oregon permit. It's not that difficult, ...
Click to expand...
What is the "... compelling business interest or other legitimate demonstrated need." you can give them to get a sign off? My experience with Oregon has been that I haven't been able to come up with a good enough reason to satisfy the Sheriff. I have Washington CCW but I don't carry it in my wallet when I'm in Oregon, nor do I carry in Oregon. I have been pulled over in Oregon, and been spreadeagled and had my car searched when they saw my permit in my wallet. I'm a middle aged, middle class businessman. One Oregon police told me that a CCW to them means you are "Armed and (potentially) Dangerous."

http://www.packing.org/state/oregon/
Date updated: Sep 6, 2005 @ 8:09 pm

In Oregon the Local Sheriffs issue permits. They also make up their own Application form as described in state law. They are all a little different. Here is what two counties in Oregon have for permit application forms.

Douglas Co. and Clackamas Co.

ORS 166.291 outlines the issuance of licenses, and states (among other requirements).

ORS 166.291 (8) "The county sheriff may waive the residency requirement in subsection (1)(c) of this section for a resident of a contiguous state who has a compelling business interest or other contiguous state who has a compelling business interest or other legitimate demonstrated need."
Click to expand...
 
loose lips sink ships....

It's not the people you tell...it's the people they tell....and they tell and so on.

Those whom I take into confidence regarding my choice to carry concealed are first and foremost individuals I know to be both mature and "clued in" enough to appreciate that such knowledge should be treated with particular discretion.

Do you really want to have your friend's, cousin's little brother come up behind you in Walmart and slap you right on your piece and blurt out "I just wanted to see if you had your gun on ya'," and then have the associate stocking shelves in the adjacent aisle call in a security alert? Or have a rival co-worker deliberately blurt out "so do you still bring your gun to work" within earshot of your supervisor at the company picnic?

Consider it a "need to know" level of information.

Also, consider how the information will affect the people you share it with.

Though my mother-in-law is a mature and discrete woman whom I trust completely, I know she'd fret and lose sleep over the thought of me having an accident and hurting one of the kids.....so I don't bring it up.

Try asking yourself this question...."Why do I want to tell this person that I have chosen to carry a concealed weapon?"

Just my $0.02. Worth at least what you paid for it. ;)


and BTW......Pax....you are an articulate and thought filled person.
 
TheOldMan ~

I got mine from Astoria a couple of years back. My "compelling interest" was simply that I regularly travel to & through Oregon on personal business, and that we have relatives who live in central Oregon with whom we spend a few weeks every summer -- and that I wanted to be able to legally carry to protect my family while camping and exploring in central Oregon.

As I said, don't even bother trying with the Portland metro area Sheriffs. They won't issue if they can help it, and they will saddle you down with a bunch of extra requirements trying to annoy you into going away.

pax
 
To be honest with you, I couldn't care less who knows I carry a gun, I just don't go out of my way to point it out. As far as my friends and family go, I honestly don't see a good reason to not let them know if the situation merits it. I don't walk into my dads house and say "Hello, father! I have a concealed weapon!" or anything, but if we happen to go somewhere that doesn't allow concealed carry, like the post office, I tell him. I frequently ask my roommate if he is carrying when we go out, and he does the same to me. Past friends and family, I don't go out of my way to say anything, and I don't think I have ever been "made" while carrying. If I was, what do I care? I am licensed by the state of Colorado to carry my firearm, I know the rules about carrying it, and I am perfectly willing to answer any questions about it.

Look, I am not a ninja. Stealth is not my goal. For a variety of factors, it is unlikely that I will ever be "made", and as such I don't worry a whole lot about it. I fail to see what the big deal is, especially around friends or family.
 
All-
I really appreciate all the thoughtful and helpful advice. It will all get some thought, but I can't say that I will adhere to every practice. I will relax a bit about telling people about my CCW, when they are close to me and a situation encourages the discussion. I can't say that my overall attitude will change - Like many of you, I also believe that many people carry just so that they can tell people. That's not my style.

Also, many of you have given me some good points to discuss, when/if I ever have a fiance who should be informed of my carry-situation.

Thanks!
 
...I carry concealed. I open carry...
Click to expand...
That's another point that really annoyed me about some of the advice I have read. I am sure that, with all the people who advised not ever telling another living being about their CCW, there had to be a few who would also OC sometimes.

What is the point of being a ninja on one day, and the next walking around completely naked in public? :scrutiny:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

S
  • Locked
Riding a motorcycle and friends go to a bar...
2 3
Replies
69
Views
3K
Snowdiver
S
T
  • Locked
CCW and relationships
2 3 4
Replies
78
Views
5K
harmon rabb
H
F
  • Locked
Need your help
Replies
10
Views
814
rainbowbob
R
A
  • Locked
One in the Chamber?
2
Replies
26
Views
872
Boba Fett
B
S
  • Locked
Maybe I should stop carrying a gun...
2 3 4
Replies
77
Views
4K
Tequila jake
T
Back
Top