New gun owner and still slightly uncomfortable carrying

[sigchick88]

First let me explain, I am 21 just got my first handgun about four months ago. Before that I didn't want them to be around me and honestly thought my dogs are more than enough protection...they are huge. But I know better. Where we live is a pretty nice area but where my husband works isn't and were we go hang out generally aren't either so my husband wanted me to carry while I was taking him to work bc the area was so bad. Anyways long story short I was at the gas station to get gas and there was a guy that watched me go into the store, and when I came back out followed me, mind you I was carrying my 18mo old so I was a little screwed with my Sig in the car. When I got to the car I put my son in the car and got the gun and put it on the seat and made sure the guy saw it. He walked away quickly.

I am not 100% comfortable carrying bc I haven't done it really. My family also HATES guns, and I know that I shouldn't worry about that bc it's my safety and the safety of my son but it's hard when your family doesn't want it around.

My question is when did you finally get comfortable enough to carry?

 

[Gottahaveone]

Hi, and welcome.
I understand where you are coming from. Even though I grew up around firearms and was very comfortable with them, the first time I started carrying in public I felt like I had a neon sigh on my back announcing it to the world. That went away as soon as I realized that it was in my head and not in the people around me.

You need to realize that 99.999% of people will never know that you are carrying. Find a way to carry it that is truly concealed and when you feel nervous about it, just remember that *you* are the only one who knows that it is there. Learn to find comfort in the weapon as a survival tool for the protection of yourself and your child.

And while a pistol in the car beats none at all, if you are going to have one you need to have it within reach. Most bad guy's won't respond very well to "wait right there while I go get my hogleg"

You are on the right track. Personal safety is a PERSONAL decision and PERSONAL responsibility and you can't let your families disapproval change your desire to protect you and yours. Don't discuss it with them anymore and if they mention their dislike again, just ask them if they would be more comfortable visiting your unarmed corpse in the cemetery.........

 

[The Bushmaster]

It will take a few weeks of carrying it all day, every day. You already know the value of having a handgun close at hand. So no need in going into that.

Look up www.corneredcat.com There you will find a site just for women who carry and has lots of help. I would also recommend that you get a comfortable means of carry and do carry it all the time for a while.

We joke about it, but a few walks through Wal-Mart while carrying concealed does help. It's called the "Wal-Mart Walk".

 

[docnyt]

With me, there's always some degree of uneasiness when carrying, which I believe is healthy paranoia that someone might grab your gun. But it took about a week of carrying one around unloaded followed by another week of carrying loaded but without chambering a round before I got used to carrying with a round chambered.

You're right it's all about YOUR safety and YOUR FAMILY. Who cares what others think.

P.S. (off topic) I see you're from Winder. Isn't that near Road Atlanta? I attended a BMW-sponsored driving event there.

 

[GlockStar]

How many rounds have you put through it?

You really need to have THOUSANDS of rounds through it so that you fully handle your gun in the dark and shoot it out of memory.

If you're not comfortable handling it, don't carry it....yet. It will force you to practice.

Why? --- if you ever need to use it, it'll be a HIGH pressure, HIGH heart rate situation so you really need to have it down like 2nd nature.

 

[sigchick88]

Thank you guys, I have put quiet a few rounds through it but your right I am only comfortable with it loaded on the range or in a safe. I do have my son to think about when thinking about one being chambered even though it's a hard trigger.

Docnyt- It's close yea. Road Atlanta is probably about 20miles down 211 from me.

Gottahaveone- I feel like that when I carry that people know even if it's in my bag, on my hip or anywhere near me. Though it does give me a sense of safety, it's still hard when I go into Wal-mart or Target or even through a mall. I feel protected but at the same time that people are putting a wide birth around me. lol you would think that was wanted lol

 

[CTGunner]

I know where you are coming from. I still feel very conscious of the fact that I have a gun on me in public. In a way I think it makes me more aware of my surroundings. It's good that you are on this forum, you can learn a lot here.

 

[DustyVermonter]

First off, hats off for carrying even though your family doesn't approve, because I think that they would be pretty quick to change their minds if ... and I don't want to paint in somber tones here, but hypothetically let's say the psycho that was accosting you had carried out whatever sick, demented fantasy he may have had planned had he not seen your Sig.

I honestly can't stand people who think violence, rape, abductions, etc. are things happening in far away places and could never happen to them, its just absolute ignorance. My mother in law detests guns thinks only cops and robbers carry them. Trust me, its a pretty sensitive issue for me as she spends a lot of time with my 18 month old, taking her to the mall, lakes and other places where they could be targeted. I bought her a can of mace and its still in the package it came in, which really bothers me because I take life seriously and am aware of the different risks that are taken every time you walk outside.

I have always been comfortable carrying guns as I have been shooting since I was 8 yrs old. I have been jumped and robbed, beaten with a baseball bat, brawled in my dooryard with guys that came to my home and believe me, that s*** aint gonna fly anymore, especially since I have a family of my own now and am responsible for taking care of them.

You have a responsibilty to defend yourself and your family and it sounds like you are taking it seriously. Don't let others discourage you, they are obviously not taking responsiblity for protecting you and your family so it is your job to get comfortable, and do what you know is right. A lot of what it comes down to is exposure, those who do not know a lot about guns or how to use them, go based off of a lot of what they hear and see on TV, I think you may be a little apprehensive due to the fact that it is somewhat new to you and that's normal.

I think the more you shoot your gun and clean it and get to the point where you can assemble/reassemble with your eyes closed, the more comfortable you will get. The more and more you carry it I think that you will find that you will feel naked without it, that's how I am. I am never more than 3ft away from a loaded pistol.

My wife is kind of new to the idea but she is really receptive and willing to learn everything I have to teach her and I couldn't be happier. Basically, just shoot it, train with it, and don't go anywhere without it and after a short time you will have no quams about carrying it. Good luck and don't let other peoples misconceptions discourage you from doing what you need to do for yourself and for your family.

Remember, the only reason they do not carry is because ultimately they are not responsible enough to, but you have taken that on and that's admirable. Don't let the bad stigma surrounding guns get to you, gun grabbing conservative liberals intentionally paint that picture of people who carry guns but they are not responsible for you and yours.

When push comes to shove and you're put in a situation you're gonna want options, so don't hesitate.

 

[Enachos]

Docnyt, +1

He nailed it! When I started carrying I started off with a Glock and because of it's "safe action" I always had a little voice in my head telling me that an accidental discharge was bound to happen. So.... I started carrying around the house without one in the chamber. After about 2 weeks of doing that I finally got comfortable knowing that the trigger was in now way just gonna "get squeezed" inadvertantley. I now carry it everywhere I go with one in the pipe.

Bushmaster, That is so true (what you said about the walmart walk lol).

 

[Roswell_Kid]

sigchick, the fact that you were uncomfortable with the whole carry thing, and that you sought advice, are both indications that you are doing perfectly fine.

Some get 95% perhaps but no one ever gets TOTALLY comfortable carrying a loaded firearm in public. Nor should they. It is a great responsibility, demanding added situational awareness and a great deal of maturity. Thank goodness you have joined that number. We need many, many more like you.

 

[KodiakBeer]

You'll go through stages. At first you're constantly aware of it and think it's apparent to everyone who looks at you. Then you begin to get comfortable, but still find yourself touching it occasionally as if you're afraid you've lost it or it's exposed. Then it just becomes part of your attire.

A female friend who had attended a CCW class I had assisted at expressed it in an odd way when I chatted with her a year or so afterward. She compared carrying a pistol to her early adolescent monthly misery - a little embarrassment and a uncomfortable feeling that everyone "knew". Then it just became part of life.

 

[22-rimfire]

If you plan on carrying, you need to make a point of carrying everytime you are outside your house other than in restricted places of course. If you have it in a handbag, carry the bag always. This has to be a decison you make. If your decision is like mine where I selectively carry, there is a good possibility that I will not have the gun available in a time of need. But that is my choice. I'm still not totally comfortable after 5 years.

 

[BADUNAME37]

Consciously KNOWING that you are carrying now, is a GOOD THING. You will be careful and have your mind on your weapon. When it starts to get dangerous is when we almost forget we are carrying! I'm to the point where something could be going down right in front of me and I may not even think of my gun, that is how ingraned it is in my mind. Yes, I put my hand in my pocket, and yes, there it is, right in my hand, ready to pull.

A number of years ago, I used to always carry totally openly, in town, in stores, etc. Things have changed a bit since 9-11 and people are more on the alert, in general, about such things (not that it matters as I can carry open all I want, as long as obey WHERE NOT to carry).

I also agree with others. You should know your gun inside-out! You should know how to shoot, determine if and when there is a malfunction, know how to reload quickly if needed, etc. I haven't taken my gun apart and reassembled it in the dark, but I think if I did, I would have no problem getting it right back together. I am very mechanically-inclined.

Just try to relax, but at the same time, not so much that you are careless.

 

[BADUNAME37]

If you plan on carrying, you need to make a point of carrying everytime you are outside your house other than in restricted places of course. If you have it in a handbag, carry the bag always. This has to be a decison you make. If your decision is like mine where I selectively carry, there is a good possibility that I will not have the gun available in a time of need. But that is my choice. I'm still not totally comfortable after 5 years.

You are right!
When I go without my weapon now, I feel naked.
When I go certain places where I cannot carry, at all, I don't even bother putting it in the truck. I have pepper spray I can rely on in such situations.

 

[Frank Ettin]

[1] I strongly recommend getting some good, professional training. If there's an NRA certified instructor near you offering Basic Handgun, Personal Protection Inside the Home and Personal Protection Outside the Home, the three classes combined should be an excellent foundation. One of the things that can be a huge help to you will be a sense that you understand the gun, how it works and the confidence that you can manage it. Training will help you achieve that much faster and more surely than just practicing on your own.

[2] The Bushmaster's recommendation of The Cornered Cat is spot on. Kathy Jackson, who put that site together, is an excellent instructor and knows her stuff.

 

[sigchick88]

Thank you guys! I know about 99% of what you all have said is true and it will happen but it's always nice to hear that I am not alone in this and that my thinking is correct, my husband is very proud of me. He's active Army and after he came back from Iraq he pushed really hard for guns in the house for protection. It seems to finally have worn off on me. Plus it gives us something else in common

 

[06]

Part of the question was--"when did you decide to carry". When a friend was killed in his back lawn tending his garden, when my best friend's mother was accosted and no one helped in a shopping mall parking lot, when an acquaintance was nearly killed in uptown Charlotte in the middle of the day, when my fire dept's chief's daughter was killed just a mile away on a Sunday afternoon, and when a friend was shotgunned in the middle of the day at his store. A pastor friend was shot at a buddies garage--supposedly a mistaken identity. I live in the "country" but plenty of violence happens "out here in the sticks". Our home has been broken into about a half dozen times and one time we walked in as they were ransacking it. They went out the back when we came in the front.
All these things and others prompted me to carry 24/7. I may go to prison for putting someone away but it will stop a problem for others.

 

[Hawthorne2k]

I found that a "Wal-Mart Walk" is a good way to get used to carrying all the time. Once carrying a pistol becomes normal for everyday tasks as shopping, it becomes normal for everything else.

Congratulations on making a brave decision. Not everyone can understand what it means to become your own first responder.

 

[Gik-tal]

In a way you should be a little uncomfortable carrying, it sort of reminds you of the responsibility that goes with it. That being said there are some great methods for concealment, from dayplanners to purses with specail pockets. You may have to shop around a little to find the right setup for you. But once you do and start you will be more confortable with time, as for your family if you conceal it well enough I would just not tell them. Last thing you did handle the gas staion thing well, I've found that most cases the mere fact you display (not wave around) a gun tends to defuse a lot of those kind of situations.

 

[Wolfeye]

Sigchick,

Everybody's story is a little different. I grew up in AK and was used to carrying guns while hiking (as bear protection). I didn't start carrying a pistol on a daily basis in the city until our house was robbed and my wife & I discovered that one of our neighbors deals drugs out of their home. I didn't get used to carrying until a few months had passed and I'd tried different carry methods. I also got used to dealing with places where it's illegal to carry, like schools & banks. It forces you to focus on where you are and what your plan for the day is.

I'd recommend a few things - read Cornered Cat's website, as previously mentioned, and Janis Cortese's website: http://www.io.com/~cortese/firearms/index.html

I also recommend taking a few classes: a gun safety class and at least one that focuses on defensive handgunning. There are a lot of safety issues to keep in mind, especially with kids around, and you have to get educated even though you're the good guy (er, gal) here. Courage to ensure your family's safety is good, but it isn't a replacement for training. You can also build personal safety & confidence by getting involved in a defensive martial art; it's fun for the family, and I find it to be an enriching hobby.

There are several appropriate ways of dealing with different levels of violence. A firearm is appropriate for some levels, but sometimes the best action you can take to avoid violence is simple awareness, like your experience with the sketchy man at the gas station. My wife once had an experience like that while living in NYC: he trailed her for several blocks, kept getting closer when she went in a big circle, and didn't go away until she stopped in a public place and confronted him. She had no weapons. I think they're illegal there.

I also strongly suggest that you get involved in a neighborhood watch. Creating a positive community around you can do a lot to give your family a peaceful life. Also, there are often women's shooting groups organized by local shooting ranges or the NRA. While your family may dislike firearms, you can still find support in friends who share your mindset.

 

[22-rimfire]

Wolfeye, that is all great stuff, but if a perp frightens her to the point she feels her life is in danger and she can not evade them, wouldn't it be a lot easier to just tell them she has a gun and WILL shoot them if they force her hand? It is a weighty decison, and applying just enough force is a great thing, but she is no LEO nor is it her responsibility.

 

[hso]

I found that carrying all the time, even at home, helped me get used to the feel of carrying much quicker. It should become like wearing a standard piece of clothing or a watch. So carry all the time in a secure on-body system comfortable for you so that you're in control of the gun at all times and know where to reach for it without having to wonder where it is should danger ever threaten you or your child.

As to getting a gun because the place you and your husband go aren't very safe, you'll want to change where you go then. Carrying a gun won't insure you won't get hurt since you have a better chance of getting injured in a known more hazardous place. Never being able to pick up your child because you're permanently injured or paralyzed because of some thug you might have easily avoided just isn't worth it.

 

[1eyedwillie]

A lot of good advice here.
+1 on the corneredcat website.
I'm male but I also went through the phase where I thought everyone knew. (they really are for the most part clueless). However, that is if you have done your part at developing your carry method properly. You didn't say what size your gun was. Is your method of dress such that you really can conceal the size gun you have chosen?

Get a gun-friend to give you advice. Are they able to detect the weapon? It may only take some minor adjustments in carry position, etc.

As for being comfortable carrying the loaded weapon, I always advise proper holster selection such that the trigger is truly securely covered (which usually means a rigid holster designed for the weapon). It also helps to carry around the house empty for a while with the weapon otherwise ready to go. You find out it won't just go off by itself. This is the same advice someone else gave above and it is good advice. Then you will feel more confident when you leave the house loaded up.

 

[dashootist]

Get a revolver.

I've been shooting for two years, and I still don't completely trust my auto pistol (1911). Once, its firing pin got stuck in the forward position. Luckily, I noticed it before anything bad happened. My instructor said it could have been really, really bad day. I use only revolvers now. They're much simpler, meaning less chance of malfunction. They have long trigger pull, so I don't think you can have accidental discharge with a revolver. Right from the start, I feel very comfortable carrying a revolver.

 

[DustyVermonter]

I would never discourage somebody from getting a revolver, they are great defensive weapons, but there is absolutely no reason at all that you should not feel 100% confident with your Sig. DaShootist's issue with his 1911 should not at all make you wary of Auto-pistols, yes sometimes you will have a malfuntion here and there but autos give you quite a few advantages and should not be advised against. Also, it sounds like you have a serious piece of hardware that you should get to know inside and out, I don't think that Sig will ever let you down, but in the case of a malfunction you will need to know how to clear it. I'm a Glock man myself, and have never had a malfunction, but Sigs are very high quality handguns that you can bet your life on. Training with a certified instructor is something I never got around to doing, but as others mentionned it is a very good idea and should be given some serious consideration. Just to clarify, I own different handguns other than glocks and in the event of a malfunction, I would know how to clear it.