I've read the responses on this thread. I may have missed a few comments in my groggy state (just woke up) but I get the gist of it.
It goes without saying that you have my condolences, Silverlance. Furthermore, my heart goes out to this child's family, and for the soul of this kid.
But I did want to address a couple lines of thought. I'm not addressing the person-- but rather the thought. After all, a person may have voiced them, but the thought is nothing new-- we've all had them at some point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mac Attack
But let me ask this question "was he dressed like a gangster?" You know what they say "If it looks like a duck then it's a duck." Kids nowadays, think it's cool to dress all ghetto and like gangsters. Well, a real gangster isn't going to bother ask you if you are a poser or a real gang member.
and this response...
Does not make it right, but I kind of see where you are going with this...
I (hate to admit) used to think I was a ""Gangsta" and used to dress the part... Looking back on it, I got in many of fights and was harassed by the police many many times mostly for my choice of attire...
Stupidly, durring H.S. and for a short period after was running around with a handful of Crips and Disciples and got into plenty of crap... I was never the one commiting any of the crimes, but I wasn't far removed...
Somehow I figured out it was a dead end road as all of my so called friends were either going to jail or their own funerals....
So I slowly stopped associating with them got a job and started hanging out with my dad and uncles, hunting and target shooting since I had always like shooting... I think I'm a bit better off for it....
Let's face it. High school is about being cool. God help us if we can't pull that off every second of the day. Our lives would crumble if it were ever preceived that we were not on top of our game. What other's think and what image we present are more important than anything else during that period of time.
Yeah, its silly-- but it's there. Hell, I looked like freaking Jon Bon Jovi in high school in the 80's. (Sadly, I am not joking). Incidently, today I look like a skinhead (not by choice-- I set my head on fire while burning leaves on Friday)
But I digress.
I had an image in HS. Parents of the girls I dated didn't really care for it. Some were convinced that I was a drug dealer. I wasn't, and never did drugs-- but I had an uncomfortable look to them. Fortunately, they knew I came from a decent family and gave me the benefit of the doubt. But I DID portray a certain image.
The difference here, however, is that mine was essentially harmless. It just wasn't like it is today back then. Today, it seems that the colors you wear are your "uniform" in a war. Everyone in the area is assumed to be a "soldier" in that war.
And people get killed in that war.
All because they wanted to be cool.
So what's the answer?
If you presented the option of dressing in any way other than what is "trendy" to any teenager I know today, they'd tell you that you may as well just shoot them-- since their life would be over (drama anyone?) But guess what? We would have said the EXACT same thing when I was a teenager as well.
The "looks like a duck, must be a duck" line of thinking has flaws. But that doesn't make it any less prevailent as a mode of categorizing people. Adults (who just don't get it) use this thinking and catch grief, are accused of stereotyping, etc. But then we see the same categorization being made by those of HS contemporary age-- but then its simply a case of mistaken identity.
Forget about what is right or wrong with the "Looks like a Duck, Must Be a Duck" logic. I don't think that anyone would pretend to support it in the light of such tragedies as this. But let's not pretend for a moment that it isn't a mode of identification used both by adults AND fellow kids.
I don't know what the answer is. I do know that we pick our clothing as a method of picking the image we wish to portray. Once, I used to say that we CHOSE to present such images.
But do we really?
Media and Society picks the images for us. All we do is decide on what category we are to be placed in.
For instance, I'd REALLY prefer to wear jeans and a polo shirt to work. However, more often than not, I am in a suit and tie. That suit does not magically make me a better worker, smarter, or more social. In fact, I'd probably get more done if I were comfortable. But it does portray an image that others see.
Today, kids are saturated with "Gangsta" images in media. Should we even question why that is the "cool" way to dress? You think that a kid will dress otherwise considering it may mean social "suicide?"
But what if "Gangsta" wasn't the trendy way to dress? What if "Gangstas" wore polo shirts with little embroidried men riding horses on them? Well, I suspect that the color of that little man on a horse would start to mean something, and the war would start up again.
It isn't a symptom of the clothing or the image. People are ALWAYS going to want to be trendy-- even if they are not in a "gang."
The problem is society.
I may take heat for saying this, but I DO see it this way...
The problem is that there are TOO many kids growing up with no nuclear family. There are TOO many kids growing up with more intereaction with media and video games than they have with a father. There are TOO many messages that not only excuse-- but actually applaude-- the gang or sociopathic lifestyle.
As a consequence, many kids are not being instilled with a moral compass, a respect for human life, or empathy for others.
The child that Silverlance has brought to our attention likey was not in the above situations. Everyone can bring to me examples of where a kid has all the postives in their lives, but perhaps still goes down a bad road. Does that then negate my assessment? No.
Every rule has an exception. BUT... BUT... this isn't about rules or exceptions. This is about societal interactions.
Because YOU raise YOUR kid in a positive environment does NOTHING to prevent poor values from entering their lives via interactions with the multitude of his or her peers who ARE getting poor messages from media and environment. And it does nothing to prevent a situation such as this where your kid may have a good bearing, but be adversly affected by a negative environment.
I think this is the root of why many say the things they do about inner cities.
I'll say it plainly. Everywhere I've lived in the last several years-- and its been several cities, I've always asked myself if I would ever want to raise a child there. Now that I AM trying to have a child, I feel VERY fortunate that I am back in the rural world where I was raised -- and around positive influences such as my father.
Boys and girls... society has a problem, and its getting worse. But it has nothing to do with our clothes. It has EVERYTHING to do with our messages we receive.
Does Art imitate life? Or does it influence it? This seems to always the the debate in the "freedom of expression" crowd. Sadly, I feel that they just don't get it if they are seeking ONE answer to this question.
Art DOES imitate life. People see it, and they portray it. Makes sense there.
BUT...
Art does influence life. If you see a thing often enough, it DOES make that thing the norm.
And thus goes the vicious cycle of descent.
But we are too busy dealing with the politics of it all to notice what we are doing to our own kids.
If you read all of that, you have my respect. Your attention span is greater than mine.
Again, my condolences to Silverlance and to this kid's family.
-- John
