Incident 1 - nice neighborhood) Vehicle broken into: Got told that they could do a report over the phone, and that my insurance would handle it.
Incident 2 - transitioning neighborhood) Drive by across the street from a rehab house - third floor was finished, and since it was the end of the day, I was sitting in a window watching the world go by when a car stopped out front, a fellow got out, stood in the middle of the road, and unloaded a 9mm at the house across the street, then slowly walked back to the car, which slowly drove off. I had 911 dialed before the guy finished shooting, because I had the cordless phone in my pocket. The police showed up about 20 minutes later, by which time I was sitting on the front steps (with a 12 gauge just inside the door), and wanted to give me grief for calling it in. They didn't even get out of the car, even when I started pointing out brass in the street. BTW, the first thing we did when we started the rehab was steel doors... That house cost $15K to start and is worth about $250K now...
Incident 3 - good neighborhood) Drunk/stoned chick can't figure out how to deal with a forked road, and totals her car and 3-4 others that were parked in The Bad Place To Be. She's okay, since I guess she just sorta rode it out... Cops showed up 20 minutes later.
Incident 4 - good neighborhood) Coed either took too much, or not enough, of something prescription. Does a naked track meet in the middle of the street, then her genius boyfriend got her some clothes, which also contained car keys. She gets in her vehicle, and tearasses up and down the street 4-5 times (with donuts in yards), and when the first po-po gets there (about 4 minutes after the first call - always say the magic words "naked woman" when calling...), she screeches, bails, and a neighbor and I clothesline her - we then got a little worried, but since she was by then trying to kill one of the cops, we just sorta faded... Within 6 minutes there were at least 3-4 cars, with more on the way. Took about three cops to contain her...
"Naked Woman" works.