Sensationalize your home!

[Elmer Snerd]

"Military-Style Assault Shotgun"--Mossberg 500.

"Hundreds and hundreds of rounds of ammunition"--a few boxes of 100-pack skeet loads from Wal-Mart.

"Dangerously Obsessed Police Wannabe"--has an old Criminal Justice textbook and a Mag-Lite.

"Dangerous Weirdo Pervert Deviant Cultist/Satanist"--a (mostly)black cat, a Rob Zombie CD, candles, and some old "Dungeons and Dragons" stuff.

"Goth Clothing Found"--a few pairs of black sweat pants.

"Winter Camouflage Assault Knives"--A couple of those institutional kitchen knives with white plastic handles.

"Tactical Assault Knives with the Strategically Placed Blood Grooves filed off to make them look normal but we weren't fooled"--kitchen knives with black handles.

"Drug/WMD/torture/animal abuse/bomb lab"--Coleman fuel, brake fluid, Leatherman tool, antifreeze, kerosene, hacksaw, drain cleaner, powdered sugar, duct tape, soldering iron.

"A survivalist obsessed with weapons, violence, death, and the end of the world"--THR and APS memberships, violent video games and movies, minor SHTF preparations.

"Camouflage clothing"--a green coat.

"Camouflage Tape"--green duct tape.

"Deadly Booby Trap"--an overfilled bookcase.

"Evil Deviant Sexist Neanderthal Throwback Misogynist Pervert and Potential Rapist"--owns porn.

"Evil Perverted Deviant Voyeur Sicko Who Probably Spied On Your Kids"--owns binoculars.

"He was hopelessly addicted to powerful mind-altering stimulants"--he frequently drank coffee.

"He used powerful mind-altering depressants"--he occasionally took Benadryl.

"He isolated himself from the rest of the world"--rural home with no cable or satellite TV.

"Cyberterrorism suspect"--owns a computer.

"Blatant Disregard for Copyright Law"--I left out the "TM"s above.

 

[The-Fly]

lets see, the wonderful assault journalists could spray 600 lies from the hip after entering my house.............


Anti-government literature (usual gun enthusiast books - UC, "the gang" movie, etc)

Sniper rifle designed for long-range killing (varmint rifle)

Home-made explosive manuals (reloading manuals)

Hundreds of rounds of "live cop-killing armour-piercing bullets" (lots of 5.56 and 7.62 FMJ)

Computer hacking tools (I do IT for a living, so lots of networking and security tools)

"Violent" video games (the usual war games for my PC)

Explosive materials (primers and gun powder)

An arsenal of assault rifles ( 2 AR's and 1 AK)

chemical warfare agents (pepper spray)

license to kill (ccw permit)

 

[Mark_from_Iowa]

I have USDA permits to ship infectious agents across state lines (research project), I have signed for "controlled substances" dozens of times (more research), and I have a safe full of milsurps. I also keep my virology textbooks next to my copy of Atlas Shrugged on the bookshelf.

Any journalist could connect the dots and create a story that I am a highly-educated narco-terrorist plotting the violent takeover of the government.

 

[KD5NRH]

An arsenal

How many arses does it take to have an arsenal anyway?

 

[JCMAG]

How many arses does it take to have an arsenal anyway?

Just one.





Or if you're looking for an arsenal of firearms, then three.

All I have is a "dangerous terrorist training tool" -- airsoft pistol. Unfortunately, as a college student, if they want to find my guns they have to go to the campus police station armory.

COLLEGE TO OVERTHROW GOVERNMENT

SOMEWHERE, PENN. -- A BATFE raid on the University of _____ revealed an arsenal of dozens of rifles and pistols capable of arming a hundred terrorists, an unnamed government source told reporters Sunday.

"These leftist thinking college students are clearly a threat to society," the source said. "They recently began a multi-resource, campus-wide recycling program. They clearly are building up materials to begin building IEDs."