Share Your TSA "Horror" Story

[Creeping Incrementalism]

putting up with no legroom, seats that make it impossible to sleep, breathing the rancid recycled air

Is the air in commercial passenger jets recycled? I don't believe it is, I thought it entered the cabin as bleed air from the one of the compressor stages, and then exited to the outside through a valve. Regarding legroom/sleeping, you get what you pay for.

Fat Pigs.

I know, political correctitude and all that........Why is it that those assigned to protect us from those terrible aircraft terrorist bombers are always

so fat, yes,

so fat that I could out run them in a wheel chair

The meter maids in Oakland California are almost universially the fattest, most disgusting women alive. I believe they could roll from place to place more quickly than they could walk.

Walking near the Oakland federal buidling one day, I saw a gi-normously fat woman walking in a uniform. At first I assumed it was a meter maid, but then noticed the uniform was different. I haven't flown since before 9/11, and so had never seen someone in a TSA uniform before, but I was able to figure it out from the patch on her shoulder.

 

[SMMAssociates]

Creeping:

You got most of it right....

The amount of air let in and let out is what's critical. Too much and you have to waste resources "conditioning" the air. Too little and all kinds of stuff builds up that could be dangerous. The airlines seem to be unwilling to add more air than that which works it's way out due to sealing issues (and their legal department).

I've not noticed any TSA people that were unduly large. 'Course I don't fly very much - once since 9/11. However, I'm the cab driver for all sorts of family members who need to get to & from PIT and CLE, so I do see a lot of people....

The worst security-related story I can tell is about the time some airline employee didn't want to give me a gate pass so I could take my then-88-year-old mother, in a wheelchair, to the plane. After we checked with the airline and were assured that it was possible. I think it was a combination of my magnetic personality and that "hmm.... I don't think this guy's going to fold without demanding a supervisor...." look.

Actually getting through Security was a bitch because nobody seemed to know what to do with me once I took mom through some tapes to get to the special "grandmothers in wheelchairs" area. One gal asked for my pass, which I'd already given to another gal.... "Ask her for it" worked.... Two minor issues. I stripped out my belt buckle and all kinds of stuff I always carry, and then when I made it through the machine - sort of a first - somebody told me that they were going to wand me anyway, so they'd shut the thing off...." The guy who did the wanding was unfriendly, but I'd guess more tired & bored than anything else. They did want to take my Sears screwdriver - the one about the size of a fifty-cent piece with little projections on it - but somebody decided that was silly. Meantime, the guy who was supposed to push the chair vanished and I had to do it. NBD, but I'm a little overweight myself and a little too far out of shape. Nobody died....

I did have a situation (maybe mentioned earlier in this thread - certainly posted here on THR someplace) where the countergal at DFW forgot to give me a declaration card, and then when I asked her, couldn't find them. That could have been a little interesting.

A friend of mine cleaned out his house "out west" (his wife had been living there - she passed on) and tried to get on a plane with five handguns. He'd missed the "locked case" thing, although the guns were declared and in proper cases. The TSA guy let him run over to one of the shops and grab some locks....

I think it boils down to the folks running the show in a particular airport may be the ones who are responsible for the losers getting hired. Some are "transfers" from the previous security people, some may be somebody's brother-in-law, and some may be "affirmative action". The latter two categories scare me....

Regards,

 

[MBane666]

In filming season, I fly 2 or 3 tmes a week, usually with guns and ammo. I don't actually have any problems with TSA...lots of them are fans of the show. We'd been out in the Midwest filming episodes of COWBOYS, and I'd lent host Richard "Tequila" Young one of my gun cases to cart his stuff home.

So he checks in and the guns go to the TSA guys in the back. The airline person comes back out and says to Tequila, "So, you're quite the TV star, aren't you? In fact, the guys in the back would like to get an autograph."

Tequila's all embarrassed, but he says sure. So the TSA guys come out; one of them looks at Tequila and says, "You aren't Michael Bane!" The other TSA guy says, "Naw, he's just that cowboy guy." Tequila told me it was the last time he'd use one of my cases with my name all over it.

Or the ever-popular "explosives hit off a laptop." We'd been at the range with my laptop, and we'd used some exploding targets. Obviously. I handled my laptop with residue on my hands. Laptop goes through screening...lights go off...nice policeman has me place hands on conveyor belt and assume position. Many policemen and TSA guys show up, and the main guys says, "Can you give me a compelling reason why we might get an explosives signature off your laptop?" I said that if I could remove my hands from the conveyor belt, I'd get a card. So they pass my card around and one TSA guy goes, "Oh hell, I've seen this guys's show! He blows stuff up every week!" I pass out SHOOTING GALLERY pins for everyone, and I'm on my way.

Occasionally, I run afoul of airline ticket agents who don't have a clue, but even that can be a surprise. Checking into Denver one morning, I cracked open the gun case for inspection and the woman airline person goes, "Oh my goodness!" I thought, "Here we go..."

Then she said, "Is that a new Kimber 1911? Do you mind if I handle it? Can I show it to my girlfriend? She and I both want to get one..."

Goes to show...

Michael B

 

[leadcounsel]

I'd talk to the JAG about it. I'm sure that there are some resources that the military can use to lean on the local governements, after all it is the FEDERAL government in a time of war.

 

[Strings]

>TSA guy actually asked me if that brand indicated some sort of "dope" cigarettes and opened the unopened and sealed pack<

Odd... I handroll my smoke, and have made a point of doing so in front of LOTS of cops: never had a problem...

Pete: were that tried with my wife, there would be violence (and there would be rape charges)

 

[oops!]

Just remember folks, the republican party was in power when all this crap started.
TSA, Homeland Security? Nazi S.S.? E.G. Stassi?

I refuse to undress or walk in my socks on carpets used by untold thousands of feet.

The policies and procedures of the TSA reduces the effective, "on duty" I.Q. of their workers to about 70-80.

 

[tyme]

I'm at present drafting my letter to O'Hare customer service about a lapse in security. I booked a very last-minute trip to meet some friends in New Orleans, packed my stuff, and got on the plane. On said plane, I discovered that I had foolishly brought on a Gerber with a 4" blade and a guthook.

It strikes me as a very, very bad idea to write a letter announcing the commission of a crime. Even if you repudiate later, the letter can be used as evidence.

We all know that the TSA is more or less incompetent. Various media groups and independent "tiger teams" have gotten guns and bags with fake explosives through airport security checkpoints. Writing a letter about your gerber getting through security won't improve anything.

Improving security screening involves a long chain of human, technological, logistical, and social limitations on how searches are carried out. From the TSA's perspective, if you write a letter complaining about getting a prohibited item through a checkpoint, it's easier to make an example out of you than to do anything about the problem. By charging you, they increase their statistical effectiveless, and they get a small mordida from you unless you try to fight it in court.

 

[larry_minn]

Its a sad situation. The TSA has such power/authority to make your life (bad)


(there are rules here)

Make sure you keep your cool when dealing with them.

 

[Lupinus]

It strikes me as a very, very bad idea to write a letter announcing the commission of a crime. Even if you repudiate later, the letter can be used as evidence.

True but details like name could be withheld

though I do agree it wouldn't do anything, and even if it does do anything it is just likely to make things even more redicules.

 

[Malum Prohibitum]

I want to recover my stuff ASAP for obvious reasons, but I also have to shake this charge. I can't leave it "suspended" on my record, and I'm a little worried about it being dropped. I would rather beat it in court for the "not guilty" to be added on my record.

BTW, my wife called the police station to recover my knives, and she said she knew she was speaking to duddly-do-right because he remembered my "SWAT tactical knife". He said that they don't usually give stuff back and that I would be a "landmark case" if I did recover them. He also said that they were dangerous! Hes a smart one


If you do not have any lawyer friends or family to handle this for you, or a volunteer here on the site from Maryland, have your wife call an actual judge and the judge's "staff attorney" to explain the entire story and see if you can get the following action:

(1) Dismissal

(2) knives back

Be very clear about what you ar requesting.

Were the charges state or federal? It sounded like you were taken into custody by local cops.

 

[Sungun09]

TSA people are always a mixed bag, good, indifferent, bad. The good guy today may be the bad guy tomorrow depending on what side of the bed he woke up with .

 

[Ctone03]

I think it's time that my wife gets a lawyer, she has called the courthouse a couple of times and given them the sitrep, but they will not help her. She tried to speak to the judge and they refused and would also not allow her to represent me in court. It is a local matter, not federal, and the magistrate as well as the arresting officer told me when I was released that I could more than likely beat it in court due to the judge being a veteran. I'm 8 hours ahead of the courts clock and it has been difficult to have the time to call during buisiness hours. I will call them again ASAP to see if they change their tune, or to try to speak with the judge personally (I have tried but was refused). It seems funny that they will not let anyone represent me in absetia, but will not work with me when I call. I have enough stress to think about with things blowing up around me, fighting this case will surely test my resolve.

 

[bclark1]

yeah i just wanted it on record as another screwup on their part. i suppose you are right, as ignorance has never constituted a valid defense, though i would like to have more faith in "the system" than that.

 

[Ctone03]

I realize that with all of the stuff I was carrying it just looked bad. However, with ID/orders/plane ticket to Ft. Bliss, I would think that someone would get the picture.
I called the courthouse yesterday and found out that my courtdate is only suspended for a year. I also found out that I have a good chance of being here for longer than a year. They said that talking to a judge via phone is out of the question, although a can make arrangements to meet him face-to-face! Lots of good that does. I can also send the judge a letter which the clerk swears he will read. I'm going to get a lawyer and make arrangements to come home to deal with this mess. It's a good thing I have nothing important to do here!

 

[Beachmaster]

Here is a story a friend and I were just talking about. It seems that a Medal Of Honor recipient tried to get on a plane, and the TSA stopped him because his medal had "pointy parts".

I understand that many civilians don't know about the military or its customs, but I thought every American understood that the MOH was the highest Military honor given out (usually posthumesly)

It does not say much about the TSA when a retired general who is one of only 140 living MOH recipients (he shot down 26 enemy planes in WWII) has a hard time getting on a plane carrying his Medal, but I get my Swiss Tec key shaped keyring knife, Swiss tec mini pliers (attacked to my keys) and 6" plastic "letter opener" past security every time.

I guess they though since he has a track record of downing planes that he was a threat.

Here is an article about it. it happened in 2002

http://www.homeofheroes.com/news/archives/2002_0100_foss.html

 

[roger97176]

JAG LAWER

In reference to the Marine, contact JAG lawer about the solder, salor realefe act.

 

[mountainclmbr]

In Denver, from level 6 you can look down on the passenger screening level 5 and see that there are usually more TSA on break than working. Unionist Socialism is at work in this agency for sure.

 

[mountainclmbr]

I should say that I have seen an improvement since TSA. Before they were like ex-panhandlers. No confidence from me at all. Now, they seem reasonably intelligent, but seem more intent on imposing power on law abiding citizens than on identifying suspicious characters. Not really sure which is worse, just that imposing power on grannys and moms with small children is not improving my security. I pay them, if I could fire them the unemployment rate for the still useless people would be way up.

 

[limbaughfan]

like Cigar Dave always says TSA="Transportation Screw Up Administration"

 

[saddenedcitizen]

Creeping / SMMAssociates

Close but not quite -
The air is not recycled at all.
Leaking around the seals is minimal and air replacement at that rate would asphyxiate the passengers is short order !!!
100 - 300 people breathe a LOT of air !!
There is a constant inflow of fresh air and the amount is controlled by the pressurization system's 'outflow' valve.
This valve is also why explosive decompression will not happen if you put a few small holes in the fusalage ( the valve just closes slightly to maintain the preset cabin pressure ) despite what Hollywood shows you !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[trueblue1776]

Active duty, in uniform, orders in hand, DHS ID card, selected for additional screening. I love our mind numbing bureaucracy.

 

[SMMAssociates]

SaddenedCitizen:

I stand (well, actually, sit - it's a bear to type while standing) corrected . Knew it was something like that.

The issue I'd heard about was the airlines refusing to increase the airflow because of the costs of conditioning (heating at altitude) the fresh air. Guess that ties.... The increased airflow would further dilute the pathogens in the aircraft's atmosphere.

My mistake, too, on the "recycling" issue. More like "just leave it there"....

The issue of explosive decompression (Mythbusters aside) has long been exposed as junk science at best. It just doesn't happen unless you get a "rip the top off the fuselage" condition, and while that's already been proven to be seriously dangerous, it's not Hollywood's version. I wouldn't want to be sitting where the top came off, but I'd also expect to survive. (Would it bring down the aircraft? Got me - the one case I know about didn't.)

(Wait until the criminal-friendly types figure out how big a hole a deer slug makes v.s. a .50) but even those are only dangerous to the aircraft if they hit a critical and non-redundant part of the aircraft. And, guess what, about any old projectile would likely do the same sort of damage.... Outlaw golf balls?

 

[Old NFO]

I stand (well, actually, sit - it's a bear to type while standing) corrected . Knew it was something like that.

The issue I'd heard about was the airlines refusing to increase the airflow because of the costs of conditioning (heating at altitude) the fresh air. Guess that ties.... The increased airflow would further dilute the pathogens in the aircraft's atmosphere.

My mistake, too, on the "recycling" issue. More like "just leave it there"....

Stu, you are not far off... The issue is the number of Conditioning Pacs they have on line, that is what provides the ac and humidity for the air. With only a single pac running, humidity is about 10-15% vs. 30-45% with both pacs running. That is why most people "dry out" while flying, is the low humidity in the acft. It IS a cost issue also...

 

[30Cal]

I was wearing a T-shirt from the National Matches this week when I went through security at Louisville. The TSA guy checking ID and boarding passes asked me if the CMP was still at Camp Perry and if it was true that you could now buy one off the rack at the store there. I told him that it was true and that I'd just checked two M1's in my luggage. He seemed to think that that was pretty cool. So no big issues the past few times I've flown with firearms.

Ty