The real world reality of it is that if someone is posing enough of a threat to you or a loved one for you to pull that trigger you had better be okay with shooting to kill. Nothing else would make sense. You have to be completely willing to take another life to protect your own or you should not bother firing.
All the rest of this debate is just semantics.
No one is saying that they aren't WILLING to kill.
And you're partially right. If the attacker dies, from his view point it is semantics whether my intent was to kill him or not.
I know several people who have survived gunshots. So while death may be a possible result, it is not the only result, nor the most likely. The FBI learned from the Miami shoot-out that even a fatal wound does not always stop the threat in time to prevent more injuries.
So, my goal is to cause as much bodily harm as I can it the shortest amount of time. That is my goal, because my training and experience has shown that to do anything else makes it more likely that I (or those I'm trying to protect) will suffer harm.
The unlikely-ness of an attacker dying from gunshot wounds is the reason why we're trained to put multiple shots on target. It is the unlikely-ness of hitting our targets (regardless of our intent) during a life-threatening moment, that causes us to train to aim at the largest target, the COM.
I think the rape example is not really correct. If you did not stop, it may not change the legal results of your actions, but those results do not change your intent.
A better example would be: only after having sex with a female do you discover she's under age for consent. Did you commit rape? yes. But that fact that you committed rape does not change your intent. Nor does your intent change the legality of what you did.
Cosmo: You seem to keep interchanging intent with justification. You want people to "admit" that they really were trying to kill the attacker by saying it doesn't affect the justification for the actions. Why don't you believe any of us when we say that killing is our intent? You disregard everyone's reasonings, and continue to come back to the single point that since it's possible to kill someone with our actions it must be our intent.
I haven't read a single thing that would prove that other than you assertion that you say so.