strange neighbor

[shiftyer1]

I live on 10 acres with few neighbors what most consider out in the sticks. 4 of us have 10-20 acres in an L shape and are surrounded by a few miles of pasture land.

About 3 weeks ago my wife and I were on the porch listening to music and talking after midnight. I am generally a soft spoken person so for her to hear me the music wasn't loud.

Around 1:30am I hear several shots then a while later several more. I assumed something needed to be shot and didn't think twice about it. Until the next morning when I get a voice message from my landlord telling me how bob was calling him and cussing him at 2 in the morning then hung up on him.

I took that to mean those shots were his way of expressing his displeasure and were meant for my attention.

I still have not spoken with him about it.

Fast foward to right now......

We share a driveway and tonite as he passed my house on his cycle his motor was surging, I assumed he was having problems. Nope he was kinda reving his motor on the way by to disturb me I guess when he got home he reved the hell out of it for quite some time. Then he promtly fires a round here and there and turns up his music. Now I know that with the nite sounds a radio full blast is very faint so we couldn't have disturbed him thanx to his stereo tonite. I also now know he has a revolver. Unless someone knows of a large caliber handgun with a 6 round mag.

I don't care about the music, the bike or the shooting, but i don't know which way he's shooting. I know know that this is directed towards me which is why i'm a little worried about the gunfire. I'm kinda thinking i'll just sit quiet and let him throw his temper tantrum, or is it worth calling the sheriff and filing a report. I really don't want any big hassel. For all I know he's having a bad month and shoots to vent.

He hasn't done anything towards me bodily yet, i'm assuming he's shooting the other way. I haven't heard any zingers yet.

Do ya'll think i'm being too forgiving?

As a side note, the first occasion I got to meet my new neighbors. They wanted to know what the heck was getting shot at so much so late. Hadn't heard our music but were concerned over his shots.

 

[mnrivrat]

I would call him and ask whether this all means he has a bone to pick with you or what ? If so, find out what it is and try to resolve it like neighbors should.
Firing off shots as some sort of retaliation, or warning, is a bit un-nerving. If that's what he is doing, it is time to stop it before he hurts somebody with a stray if nothing else. Not to mention if someone is shooting to try to intimidate, it is illegal as well as intolerable.

 

[doc2rn]

I see nothing gained by your bringing this to a head. I would however contact the sherriff and let him deal with the late night shooting of the disturbed individual.

 

[45bthompson]

Shooting back would prolly escalate things. I hope your dogs don't tree a coon at 1am. He would surely take the sound of your shots as a challenge. I have an d bag neighbor also. I wish people would just live and let live a little more. I don't think it would be a bad idea to give the local authorities a heads up on the situation. At least then if you need to call later they have some back story. If it is rural enough the local cleo might already know the guy and be able to give you some advice. Whatever you decide I hope things smooth out for you. It sucks feeling uncomfortable on your own land.

 

[shiftyer1]

I don't know that I would bring it to a head, unless I know he's shooting this way. He can shoot all he wants.....I don't care but since this is done for my benefit i'm a little nervous.

I kinda feel like calling the sheriff is stirring the pot.

 

[David E]

About 3 weeks ago.....

I get a voice message from my landlord telling me how bob was calling him and cussing him at 2 in the morning then hung up on him.

I still have not spoken with him about it.

Why not???

Its been 3 weeks!

The landlord apparently knows him and he apparently knows the LL since he called him at home.

Talk it over with the LL and see what you can find out.

 

[shiftyer1]

This guy was gone when I moved in but I was warned that he has been problems forever, from......everyone around here. I've been here 3 years he's been back for maybe a year.

I have never heard of shooting issues though.

 

[Shoobee]

Look at it his way. He moved to the country to get away from it all. And now it turns out he lives next to hippies who play their music loud, and he cannot hear the crickets and the frogs at night.

I would take the hint, and turn the music way down after dark.

That's what he is probably nonverbally trying to tell you.

 

[shiftyer1]

I have spoken to the landlord, just not bob. We have been here 3 years with no problems. My landlord owns 3 of the 4 properties. My land lord also warned me about him and has asked me several times if we've had problems. Up until now it was no.

Schoobee....I ain't the hippies blasting music for all to hear. If 2 people can have a normal conversation over the music it's far from loud. I've never used them here but if I want to blast some tunes I do have some powered pa's.

I've gone out of my way to accomadate this man.

 

[Shoobee]

I know Shyfter I know. But if you look at it from his perspective, you will at least gain an understanding of "why."

 

[Chris-bob]

He hasn't done anything towards me bodily yet, i'm assuming he's shooting the other way. I haven't heard any zingers yet.

Who lives the other way?

Would you feel right knowing another neighbor was injured because he kept shooting blindly in the dark and hit them? I doubt he's shooting at his feet.

 

[Twmaster]

Or not understand if the guy is a flaming kook.

 

[smalls]

I don't think calling the Sheriff would be stirring the pot. It's letting him know his actions are not appropriate or tolerated, without getting into a possible argument or altercation with him.
What's he going to say when the Sheriff knocks on his door? "I was shootin' 'cause them damn kids had their radio too loud!"
Do you think the Sheriff is going to think that's acceptable behavior, either?

 

[Kleanbore]

If 2 people can have a normal conversation over the music it's far from loud.

That subjective assessment depends upon the time of day and upon whether others who can hear it do not like it...and only they can judge.

 

[highlander 5]

Sounds like your neighbor may be a few bricks short of a full load. Most people can be approached and talked to and hash out whatever the problem may be in a calm and sane manner. Unfortunately it sound like you got the no matter what you do it's a problem type neighbor. If more shots are fired I'd call the Sheriff and your landlord,let them deal with him. I wouldn't worry to much but if he shows up at your front door irate over whatever slight he might percieve then all bets are off. I do know one thing sound carries quite a ways in a non urban enviroment no matter how low the volume.

 

[Shoobee]

I agree with Kleenbore. Country and western at any volume would drive me nuts. Although I would not mind Flight of the Valkyries.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGU1P6lBW6Q

 

[aeriedad]

If 2 people can have a normal conversation over the music it's far from loud.

That subjective assessment depends upon the time of day and upon whether others who can hear it do not like it...and only they can judge.

Of course, but if Bob's subjective assessment is that the music is too loud for the time of day, shouldn't he find a more responsible way to share that assessment with his neighbors? Does Bob's childish response undermine his credibility in assessing what is or is not too loud for the time of day?

 

[smalls]

If Bob thought the music was too loud, Bob should have went over and asked politely for Shiftyer to turn it down. Instead, Bob acted like a child and had a tantrum. Bob's parents must have never put him in time-out when he was a child.

 

[David E]

How well does the LL know Bob? If well enough, then the two if you go over there and attempt to have a civil discussion.

I'd record the conversation. Most states permit it if at least one party is aware of the recording. Even if your state does not, I'd still record it.

If he yells "I'll kill you!" I'd like that on tape.

But hopefully, he just needs to vent, you need to understand where he's coming from, etc.

 

[Kleanbore]

When it comes to the kinds of things routinely discussed in this forum, the important point is rarely about whether someone's reaction to a real or perceived affront is rational; the question is what to do about it.

The objective is always de-escalation and avoidance. Methods often include apology and ceasing to do whatever it was that started the initial tension in the first place, regardless of the initial intent or one's idea of his or her "rights".

If someone at whom one has glanced innocently at a street corner should react with "what are you lookin' at", it is best to leave the psychoanalysis and the evaluations of righteousness to others, say something that will de-fuse the situation and make an appropriate gesture (that will depend upon just what kind of monkey dance seems to be starting), and quit looking.

Personally, I would not go to see Bob--that could be perceived in his mind as further escalation. I would invite him over for some refreshments. I would ask him if my music bothered him and make appropriate amends.

What Bob should have done really doesn't matter.

What does matter is how vindictive or dangerous Bob may be, and that's something that no one wants to find out.

That's the ST&T aspect of this. The other aspect is a matter if simple etiquette, and most people do not believe that plying music outdoors at night is a very nice thing to do.

 

[Jaxondog]

you just need to call him and get it out in the open, that is if there is anything. Then you could sleep again.

 

[phil dirt]

Playing your music outdoors late at night would piss me off too. Sound, even quiet music, carries a long way at night. Turn your music off and go to bed!

 

[aeriedad]

What Bob should have done really doesn't matter.

What does matter is how vindictive or dangerous Bob may be, and that's something that no one wants to find out.

That's the ST&T aspect of this. The other aspect is a matter if simple etiquette, and most people do not believe that plying music outdoors at night is a very nice thing to do.

That's a good response.

Leaving it at "subjective assessment...only they can judge" gives the impression that the main point is about whether the music was too loud, instead of what to do about the issue it has caused. In fact, I don't disagree with whether the assessment of "too loud" is up to Bob, only that that isn't helpful because Bob's behavior indicates he is looking to make an issue out of anything useful to such a purpose. The recommendation to de-escalate is absolutely appropriate, but not clear from your earlier response.

 

[Rail Driver]

The objective is always de-escalation and avoidance. Methods often include apology and ceasing to do whatever it was that started the initial tension in the first place, regardless of the initial intent or one's idea of his or her "rights".

What happened to standing up for yourself, your rights, and what you believe in? Since when is the objective to always denigrate yourself? Why should I have to bend knee to someone that is in the wrong? What makes his rights worth more than mine? This idea is why our once proud nation is in the crapper now. Bending to others' will and whim.

While I can understand avoiding or de-escalating an encounter in public, when someone starts getting crazy around my home whether they're a neighbor or not, I'm going to do what I have to (within the law) to see that not only my rights are left intact (I'm surely not going to go over there and apologize or kiss his rear) but that his ignorant, childish tantrum stops (likely with a call to the sheriff).

Although avoiding violence is a good and wise objective, avoiding violence at any cost is ignorant.

 

[smalls]

Kleanbore, you're correct, what Bob's problem is really isn't important.

It's what he did. He was outside SHOOTING at god knows what. If my neighbors were outside at midnight lighting up the sky with gunfire, I would most definitely call the police.

I agree that you shouldn't go and confront him head on. That's where calling the Sheriff comes in. What happens if you paint your house and Bob doesn't like it? He could shoot your house! You need to let Bob know in a non-confrontational way that his behavior is unacceptable.