Touchy area with relative

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by WALKERs210, Apr 11, 2010.

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  1. WALKERs210

    WALKERs210 Member

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    I have situation that I knew one come one day but really hated to think of it happening. In 2004 while visiting my sister and brother-in-law, he showed me several guns and knives he had since he was a boy in Jackson Hole, Wy. That day he informed me that upon his death that these were to be willed to me. These items are not of any real cash value, nothing that collectors would probably even look at twice. The only reason I would even care to have them is because they were his. MY sister passed away in 2005, and in 2008 my brother-in-law health deteriorated so much his daughter had to move here to take care of him. My niece and I have never been close and she didn't even bother to make a phone call to inform anyone in the family that he passed away. Trying to word this so it does not sound like I am wanting to take anything away from her, but I have so many wonderful memories of the man and a picture that has stayed with me for years. He was a very big man, about 6'5" lean and tough as they come, one rifle in particular was a Stephens youth model 22 cal bolt action and when he shoulder it it was almost comical as short as the gun was to his frame. Anyway it has been almost a month since he has passed and I gave serious thought to just leave it alone expect for one thing. The man/boy/whatever that with her looks to me like a hard days work would kill him, and the idea of a gun is just something he would have to a pawn shop as quick as he can get there. Guess what I'm asking would you follow up and ask about these items or just hold on to the memories of a the best man I ever knew.
     
  2. Delta608

    Delta608 Member

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    Let it go..Keep the memory
     
  3. RonJon

    RonJon Member

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    "That day he informed me that upon his death that these were to be willed to me."

    Get a lawyer to read that will!
     
  4. gearchecker

    gearchecker Member

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    I agree with RonJon, Seek a lawyer to have the will read. If it were me I'd also take some time for a private conversation with his daughter about his wishes to you. It can't hurt to let her know how her dad felt about you getting his guns.
    If you were included in the will, they should have notified you, and had you present for the reading if you were close enough in distance.
     
  5. bobelk99

    bobelk99 Member

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    If it was my family, and I had no notification in a month on the guns, I would assume they have no intention of passing anything to me.

    In that case, due to the sentimental value involved, I would ask to see the will, utilizing an attorney if necessary.
     
  6. Tim the student

    Tim the student Member

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    You could offer to buy them. That may minimize any hard feelings, IMO.
     
  7. Cranky CJ

    Cranky CJ Member

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    The possessions of loved ones, when they pass, brings out the worst in some people. Know this going into the situation. A simple conversation with your neice to see where things stand would be a start. Hard feelings or fighting over the possessions of a deceased person just isn't worth ruining memories of that person. If the conversation does not pan out, just let it go. Personally, I would not retain a lawyer, since you will be the one paying the fees.
     
  8. WALKERs210

    WALKERs210 Member

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    Tim that is something I never gave thought to but it is now on the top of the list. Doubt the girl will even bother to inform me on anything, I had to read it in local newspaper to find out about his passing and the day services she was almost 30 min late getting there. I really hated to air my laundry out like this but there is only two of us left in family (older ones) and I do value feelings and views from all here.
    Thank you very much
     
  9. CHEVELLE427

    CHEVELLE427 Member

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    my uncle passed, and he had a lot of reloading items and a crap load of old guns, soon as family and friends got wind of it they tried to low ball my aunt , some got away with it (till i gave her the current price for them.)

    that one guy even brought a stranger up to buy some but i had prices on them by them. he ask were did you get those prices from :eek: she said lee looked them up and this is what I'm wanting for them

    she was old and didn't have a clue, was even going to have some dealer my uncle dealt with years ago from Texas come get them and just send her what he felt he needed to, glad i talked her out of that .:D


    nothing like a death to bring out the best in some.:cuss:

    i bought some didn't want to pay the price but i did.
    but in the end it paid off some , as she has given me some for nothing,

    OFFER TO BUY SOME AS SOME HERE HAS SAID.:cool:
     
  10. JoeSlomo

    JoeSlomo Member

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    Let it go man...
     
  11. jnyork

    jnyork Member

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    Turn it loose before it eats you.

    Keep the good memories, throw away the rest and move on.
     
  12. jonmerritt

    jonmerritt Member.

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    I had a somewhat similar situation, I just walked away. They were fighting over who got what. Now they have nothing, spent it or lost it, and only the memory of there greed.
     
  13. hso

    hso Moderator Staff Member

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    Offer to help sell the guns for the greatest value and then purchase the one particular piece.
     
  14. Chester32141

    Chester32141 Member

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    Assuming there was a will it should be available by visiting the Clerk of Court's website ... usually takes about a month for it to be available ...

    Might want to check any Pawn Shops or Gun Shops in the area where he lived ...
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2010
  15. Gouranga

    Gouranga Member

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    Personally, I would let it go. I have seen 2 horrendous estate battles from on my in-laws side. Nobody ever wins. Even when you do "win" it is like scorched earth policy. IMO, ain't worth it having bad blood with your own kin. You obviously have wonderful feelings left for the guy and some great memories. I would not want an estate battle tied to any of them.

    If anything I would contact the niece, tell her what her father meant to you, tell her if things change or if she ever wants to consider maybe getting to know each other and chatting over a cup of coffee you will be waiting. She may or may not take you up on the offer but you will be able to sleep well knowing you tried.
     
  16. Ohio Gun Guy

    Ohio Gun Guy Member

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    It's unfortunate this always seems to happen. Everyone reading this should use this as an example of needing to make your wishes known, distribute things you really want to go to certain people BEFORE you die (If Possible). You'll get to enjoy their reaction and your prized guns or other stuff wont end up in the nearest pawn shop for measly $20.00 in the pocket of the family dead beat.
     
  17. SSN Vet

    SSN Vet Member

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    That may have been his intention, but if he never actually had it put into his will, that intention can't be realized.

    If he died intestate, or if his expressed intention to will the guns to you was never recorded, you're much better off not even bringing it up.

    My suggestion is to tell your neice how much her dad meant to you and offer to help her out in any way that you're willing and able to. By helping her in some meaningful way (boxing up stuff, hauling stuff, etc...) maybe you can begin to build a relationship. Then invite her over for Thanksgiving and tell her to bring Mr. Skinny along.

    Let this be your gift of friendship to your late BIL and your personal way of honoring his memory.

    Everything else will rust or turn to dust... relationships are what matters.

    None the less, if you really want the guns, you could call up the local pawn shops with your "list" and likely buy them on the cheap.
     
  18. Beelzy

    Beelzy Member

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    The Memories are worth more than the gun, treasure those.

    If the gun is really a big part of the memories, then buy the gun at market value.
     
  19. The Bushmaster

    The Bushmaster Member

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    If you were in the will you would have been notified by the executor of the will.

    Ask your cousin(?) for the guns and explain to her the circumstances as to why you are asking, including the love and respect you have for the man. You may get lucky...
     
  20. Sav .250

    Sav .250 Member

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    If your in the will (with the weapons listed) then sooner or later you`ll get them. If not in the will........... I`d think your out of luck.
     
  21. MisterMike

    MisterMike Member

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    Many people talk about willing possessions to others, then never act on it. If you are named in the will as a beneficiary, it may take a while to get to the point where his possessions will be distributed.

    Regardless, I think that the advice to offer your assistance to his daughter and not push the issue is the best. If you find the right time and place to do so, ask if you can buy one of his guns as a remembrance. As others have said, the memory of the man is far more valuable than the things he possessed.
     
  22. russ69

    russ69 Member

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    This one isn't that hard. Call her up. Tell her if she needs any help, you'll be willing to help out and if she needs or wants to sell any of his guns that you would be interested in paying the fair market price. That should close the loop one way or another.
    I told my friends, that if there is anything they want, they better get here quick and don't forget to say sorry about your loss or something like that before you start rummaging through all my stuff! My wife will expect nothing less from my pals!

    Thanx, Russ
     
  23. bri

    bri Member

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    Call her up and tell her how much he meant to you and what your fondest memories are with him. If she puts two and two together and offers his guns, so be it.

    Otherwise, let it go and cherish the memories, knowing that you said your peace.
     
  24. buck460XVR

    buck460XVR Member

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    If they were willed to you, you will be notified by the lawyer. If there was not a will, or an executor, the estate will have to be probated. Even with a will, it may take 6 months to a year before the estate can be dispersed. I would talk to the daughter and explain to her exactly the way you explained it to us. If the guns have no sentimental value to her and they have not been willed to you, I'd offer to buy them for a fair price. If all she wants is the money, she'd probably jump at the chance to sell them.


    Sorry for your loss.
     
  25. Deltaboy1984

    Deltaboy1984 Member

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    Call go over and tell her what he told you if she says no let it go and don't worry about it anymore. This is Sugar Stick time as others have said offer to buy if she wavers and I would have Cash in hand.
     
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