Upset the wife about 330 this morning...

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WC145

WC145

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We've got squeaky stairs, no matter how hard you try to walk softly they squeak, they even squeak when my dogs go up and down. So, about 330 this morning I hear the squeaking and it wakes me up. Someone is coming up the stairs, slowly. I reached down and checked the dogs, who are both in their bed so I know it isn't them, and the covers were pushed up against me so it felt like my wife was there. The only other person it could be is our daughter, who's room is downstairs, but she sleeps like the dead. I reach over to the night stand and grab my Surefire flashlight in my left hand and put my right hand on top of my S&W 360 and when the footsteps reach the door... BAM!! I hit my wife in the face with 120 lumens!:what: She looked just like Santa in the Surefire ad. I turn it off immediately but it was too late, she was blind. She grabbed for the footboard to get her bearings and banged her hip on the corner of the dresser and then woke the dogs when she let me know in no uncertain terms exactly what she thought of me, my flashlight, and my now barking dogs.:cuss: I responded with "Christ, I could've shot you, what were doing out of bed!?" She didn't say anything but I could feel her glaring at me in the dark.:fire: Apparently, she doesn't appreciate my tactical readiness or the way I got the drop on her. She made it back to bed and slept facing the wall the rest of the night. There was still a distinct chill in the air this morning as she got ready for work. I just kept my mouth shut. Hopefully she'll be over it by tonight.

There's a moral here, and maybe a lesson, but I don't know what they are.
 
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I don't know either, but reading this brought tears to my eyes I'm laughing so hard. That's a hoot!!!...in a way it's not funny...but it IS! I think it's just the way you told the story.
 
It's not funny. But again it's funny. It's gonna be cold in that house awhile.

I will go out on a limb and hazard a wager that says that your spouse will soon demand in no uncertain terms to fix or replace these squeaky stairs ASAP.
 
That was a good laugh. You might be sleeping with the dogs for a couple days. But no matter what, I would refuse to fix the steps, they told you someone was coming. Good luck I think you will need it.:D
 
Im worried about the dogs.

What If Im the one getting into the house hmm?

We used to have pets that would stormin normin thier way to the kitchen for more food should either one of even so much as look in that direction.
 
It is totally funny.

The moral - Don't get out of bed in the middle of the night without kicking your partner first.

The lesson - Not all noises are bad noises and wake your partner if you are suspicious of something.

I got the drop on her
Click to expand...

You did? She awoke. Left the room. Walked down the loud stairs. She went to a late night party, got back in the house and changed into her sleeping attire and had made it most of the way back up the stairs before you knew of anything being wrong. She's mad because she doesn't know how long you had been awake and if she has been found out. :D
 
You guys are right, it's funny, but it isn't, but it is. I'm laughing now but she's still at work.;)

maybe a quick butt check next time before you touch anything else?
Click to expand...

I think you're right, I need to add that to my list - butt, THEN dogs, light, gun.

You did? She awoke. Left the room. Walked down the loud stairs. She went to a late night party, got back in the house and changed into her sleeping attire and had made it most of the way back up the stairs before you knew of anything being wrong. She's mad because she doesn't know how long you had been awake and if she has been found out.
Click to expand...

That may be so, but I'm not worried about anybody sneaking out, just sneaking in!
 
One word: Flowers.
Now.
While she's at work.
Send 'em.

Trust me.

The only thing worse than cold feet :eek: is the cold shoulder.

Otherwise, the "butt check" might be as close as you're getting for a little while.

This thread *is* about strategy & tactics, right??? :D

Q
 
Flowers! Geez, it's not like I shot her! :rolleyes:

I want her to know that I feel bad for blinding her and because she got a bruise on her hip, but also that I wasn't wrong, so I don't want to go overboard. In lieu of flowers, and since I'm off today and the weather sucks, the house will be clean and there'll be a nice dinner on the stove and a decent bottle of wine in the fridge chilling when she gets home. That way she'll be happy and we'll both benefit since I also appreciate a clean house, a tasty meal, and good wine. A win win win!:evil:
 
Great story! :D

Just be thankful that the only thing you hit her with was a bright light. And be especially thankful that the only thing she hit you with was a glare and harsh language. If it was my wife she would have hit me with the dog.

Here's what I'm taking away from the story.
1. Identify your target before pointing a gun at it. (Please tell us you weren't pointing the gun at her along with the flashlight.)
2. If you hear someone in your house, wake up your spouse for backup. If the spouse isn't there, proceed with even more caution.
3. If you choose not to follow 1 and 2, keep florist on speed dial. :D

Thanks for sharing.
 
this reminds me of the true best friends test since you check for the dogs 100% and just assumed the wife was there.

True best friend test: Stick your wife and your dog(s) in the trunk of your car for an hour. When you open it up see who is happy to see you. :evil:

well at least you have your dos to keep you company while in the doghouse :D

You should have kept your mouth shut from the start. Saying "Christ, I could've shot you, what were doing out of bed!?" translates to "I didn't know you were not in bed with me because I am not in touch with your feelings and needs" in wimin talk :D
 
Saying "Christ, I could've shot you, what were doing out of bed!?" translates to "I didn't know you were not in bed with me because I am not in touch with your feelings and needs" in wimin talk
Click to expand...

That's ALMOST as funny as the OP.
 
DON'T fix the stairs, DO do something nice for her. Sounds like a cheap lesson to me:)
 
My wife learned the hard way to never awaken me during a nightmare. My father learned never to walk into my room back when I was in undergraduate school. My roommates learned never to awaken me, period. People who know me, know to never wake me up except with a broom handle. Never stand behind me. Don't cut hallway corners. I hate being so jumpy, especially if you add into the mix being a martial arts instructor.

As I see your situation, that the dogs failed to react likely says they knew who was coming up the stairs. In this case, they did. We keep dogs for a reason. For my part, if I hear something(one), the first thing I do is a good, hard, body-check for my wife. I sleep light enough that she usually can't get out of bed without waking me up. That's a good thing.

I would suggest installing some good, solids doors in the house interior, complete with good locks. That will give you time to indentify if your wife is, or is not in the room still. You also need to have a system in place for fostering better advisement in case your daughter DOES come up the steps some day. You can't assure she sleeps soundly. JMHO.

Glad you're both okay.

Geno
 
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Communication is a very important aspect of strategy and tactics.

My suggestion would be to access and learn from this event.

If I may, just real quick-

-Squeaking stairs are a very good early warning system in not only "communicating" someone is stirring, also in "communicating" where.

-Occupants of a structure, be this a house and family, or business and employees, need to have practiced plans and communications.

i.e. codewords, signals, and passwords.

My second wife and I worked various schedules, we also had her son, my stepson in the house.
If I arrived home in the wee hours from travel, there was not only verbal communications, also non verbal.

The dawg of course would greet one of at the door. Now he knew the sound of our vehicles, and the vehicle of the son/stepson's biological dad.

He had a certain way he greeted us.
If he did not know the vehicle, as happened with me a few times driving something else, he gave a early signal of "I do not know who this is"
If he thought it was threat, he would "paw" the door differently than he did when he needed to go outside.

When we entered, we greeted him a certain way, meaning everything was fine.
If, we greeted him another, it sent a signal we had a problem. Maybe one of us were at gun point, and BGs were nigh.

Or

We might get up, for whatever reason. In our master bedroom, we moved our clocks a certain way. All it took was glancing over and seeing where the clock was, to know one of us was out of bed.

A couple of lights were used, day or night, if certain lighting was on, it meant trouble.
I mean in daytime, if anyone of us came home, or came inside from walking the dawg, doing yard work, visiting a neighbor, etc, and saw a light on, that meant BGs were in the house, and practiced plans went into motion.

Verbally...all the time.
We had code words that meant everything was fine, or something was wrong, and some codewords gave more direct information as to what was wrong.

Even if others were asleep, we said these words.

Nobody knew "the codes", except us.

Son/Stepson, did very well with all this.
His dad was a real jerk and his mom divorced him for many reasons, including mental abuse.
The boy felt really safe and good about all this staying safe.

His dad, got a new vehicle, and the dawg went into "I do not know this vehicle" mode.
Of course this dawg hated this jerk, and would communicate "that jerk is here again"

The boy came to the door, used his key to unlock and sat down a backpack, just inside the door.
and greeted the dawg with a pre arranged code, that let his mom know, and me, there was a problem, and with his dad.
Now he had to back to his dad's vehicle for his duffel and other items.

This dad never knew all of this.
He was surprised as heck, we knew there was a problem, and he was the problem.
The boy never told us, he was not yet in the house. His dad never had him out of his sight, and hearing range.

Mom and I come out, and his mom "okay , what did you do this time?"
His dad freaked.
He had been a jerk, and the boy did not "tell us" .

Heck this dad called one night, after midnight, and his mom and I woke up of course and we saw a light on...the one that meant something wrong with the boy.
WE also knew the problem was in his bedroom.

We did this stuff at the old house, when we built a house, some measures were built in, and much more...

This happened in the new house, so his mom got up to see what was wrong.
I knew she was up as one she woke up as I had, and she moved her clock anyway.
Practiced plans.

When she came back to bed, she put the clock back as it was for normal.

There are a lot of very simple, ways to communicate.

Wife and I had guns not only in the bedroom, also elsewhere in the house, garage, shed...etc.

Not once did we ever point a light, or gun at any other member of the family , including the dawg.
 
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