Want first gun, wife problems

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TelSmith

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Looking to own my first firearm, in fact, I'd like two. A shotgun to keep locked up for calamity, and a pocket pistol to keep in dresser for home invasion and bring with me when I go out.

I have a loving, liberal wife and two young kids. She will not tolerate guns in the house.

Has anyone successfully kept firearms in secret?

Obviously, I would be extremely responsible. And yes I have balls, but I married a liberal and I have to live with certain consequences.

Thanks in advance.
 
Never good to keep secrets like that from your chosen.

My wife does not like guns, but says very little about my accumulation.
 
I wouldn't keep it in secret, that's a recipe for divorce. A marriage should be built on trust and compromise. Start with a calm discussion, documented with facts and if possible, local crime reports to illustrate your concern and to aid in explaining to her that as her husband, it is your responsibility to protect her and your children and you feel that exercising your God given right to such, you'd be more comfortable in your ability to protect them with a firearm. (hope that makes sense)
 
And yes I have balls, but I married a liberal and I have to live with certain consequences.
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You might start by educating her with facts, not hyperbole or emotion - show her the cold data from the FBI, etc. to try to get her to be more "tolerant" of another viewpoint (that IS what they always preach, isn't it?).

If she is never going to change, you are never going to have harmony by sneaking anything
 
Don't do it. Just keep bringing it up until she gets sick of hearing about it and gives in. Worked for me.

Oh, and with kids in the house you have to be careful. Educate them and probably lock the guns up. But you knew that...
 
She will not tolerate guns in the house.

Has anyone successfully kept firearms in secret?
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Please don't do that! Come to an agreement or do not get a gun.

Suppose you were dead set against getting a cat. Then you found a kitten hidden in the nightstand and a Manx in the back of a closet in case of calamity?
 
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It is good to try to live in peace with your wife and no one here could blame you with that. That being said, when I am trying to talk my wife into something, I try to figure out exactly what it is that is bothering her and overcome that objection like any good salesperson. Is she worried about safety and the kids getting into it? Tell her you will buy a top of the line gun safe which no kid would reasonably be able to get into. Guns scare her? Tell her that you want her to first try shooting and then you will be more open to listen to her fears, because likely her fears are based on lack of knowledge. Go overboard with demonstrating safety rules with her when you go out. Show her you know your stuff when it comes to safety? You get the point.

You could always try to argue with facts and statistics but I doubt that would work. No offense against your wife, but most liberal people I have dealt with rely more on emotion that facts. Most liberals tout tolerance, so you could always try the angle of her tolerating your wishes. If it doesnt place your family in danger, what is their to object to?

Personally I would not hide it from her, but on the other hand, I understand your conflict.

This advice is worth less than what you paid for...
 
Respectfully JR, I never really understood keeping a gun "locked up for a calamity". You're going to have to keep it safe, with your kids and all, but still have access.

Good luck with your wife. If you don't mind me asking. How did she end up with this attitude towards guns? Did media or schools hand her her opinion? Or did she get it realistically, from TV? I always wonder how people come to these conclusions. I'm trying to understand the world and I'm having difficulty.
 
Attempting to hide firearms in the house as stated is IMHO a no no. When you married the woman you made a promise and should keep it. The welfare of the children should be taken into account from her perspective also. If you do get "caught" with them in the house you probably will never get her to warm up to them in the future. However if you want to purchase and store said firearms at a different location--say a friend's house where they will be safe that's a better choice. At least you will have access to them when needed within reason. Now is the time to casually start mentioning the news reports about crime in your area and the need for some kind of protection in a slow methodical way. This will plant a seed of need for protection and will eventually lead to her thinking something needs to be done and your brilliant solution.:cool: I have found keeping something from the spouse will always cause problems. Or get divorced and do what you want.:evil:
 
Might take a little time but try to make her understand that a firearm can play an important role is survival. Regardless she deserves the courtesy of honesty. Ask her to go to a range with you. Find a clean indoor facility that has a family atmosphere....show her the recreational value of shooting.
My friends wife was uncomfortable with guns in their house. However they were securely locked up she was ok with that. One night they hear a noise in the house that made both them very nervous...her first reaction was "do you have that thing handy"?
 
Has anyone successfully kept firearms in secret?
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Not possible. In fact, keeping anything secret from your wife is a recipe for disaster.

See if you can get her to read some of the threads here, maybe allaying her fears somewhat. Go slow. It will take some time to overcome her (baseless) fears, but it will be worth it.
 
two things.

first: take a gun safety course, and get her to come with you. You will both learn about guns and how to safely handle them, and she will learn that they are not evil. (my mother hated guns, until my father got her to go to an NRA pistol safety class. She is now the proud owner of a S&W 686, and she knows how to use it.)

second: print this and give it to her: http://www.gunfacts.info/pdfs/gun-fa...-5.1-print.pdf
 
The odds of your needing a gun are less than the odds of souring your relatinship with your wife with a bone head move like hiding a gun (or two) from her.

If you tell her its important and you work out an arrangement whereby it is not shoved in her face you might be able to come to a compromise. Otherwise, forget the guns-Second Amendment does not apply in this scenario.
 
I have the same type of Obama lovin liberal wife and two kids... It took many difficult conversations over quite a bit of time for me to finally prevail but I finally did.

Years later, She is still a liberal ( after all of my efforts) but I have quite a few weapons, my CCW and I reload and although she still isn't a fan, she is ok with it. That took some work and surely didn't happen by hiding guns, of course I didn't always tell her when I bought a new one....
 
Thanks guys,

I've brought guns in the house up from time to time just to test the waters. I can tell she won't budge. To some people, every gun will eventually be fired at somebody else. I never want to shot a gun at somebody, but I love my family so much I don't EVER want to be helpless to protect them.

So in a way, I want the best of both worlds. I guess it's not possible.

(promising insight though, Jeff H)
 
...a pocket pistol to keep in dresser for home invasion and bring with me when I go out.
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Even if the kids are too young to get into your dresser now, there are better places to keep a pocket pistol -- such as in your pocket, or elsewhere on your body and 100% under your control. (Your wife may already know this.)

IMO, an HD shotgun is not what you need at this point unless you can keep it immediately accessible to you and no one else.

Keep the dialogue honest and open with your wife. If you have to start with recreational gun(s) for clays, IDPA, etc then make it a hobby such that your wife can accept. If she's competitive, guns outside the home, for games rather than defense, may pique her interest. If you can get her to a range, rent a .22 handgun to try out.
 
My wife said either the guns go, or she does and I sure am gonna miss her.

(I'm joking. my wife shoots)
 
You do realize she will find it, right? Seriously, I can't hide a dime from my wife. Picture the conversation you will have when that happens.

This is on the list of things to be resolved BEFORE marriage. Girlfriend before my wife? Psychotic midget, anti-gun. She taught me so much about myself, before that, I never even thought about killing myself. Met my wife, hunter safety certified, has actually shot a few game birds, owned a blazer. We were engaged in eight days, eleven years ago.

The best I have ever done with emotionally opposed people is to make them admit that the problem is them, not the gun. They still wouldn't keep one in the house. Good luck.
 
I agree with the "don't hide it" crowd. It's a long road, but it's possible to win her over to at least some point of "toleration."

Try an intelligent conversation and try not to get into anything emotionally charged (not saying that you would). Try the safety course. Try renting a gun at the range and take her with you.

You ever heard the question "how do you eat a hippo?" The answer is "one bite at a time." It takes a while.
 
Why not start squirrel hunting with a 22 rifle. Then duck, deer, and you need a pistol for zombie hunting. how can she say no with that new pair of shoes you just bought her and the flowers on the bed. oh hear that hunny the waters running in the tub better go check it out ;).
 
I really freaked myself out the other night by watching a documentary about some very messed up and dangerous individuals and getting their actions stuck in my mind. I spent most of the night (since I couldn't sleep) thinking about different situations and if and when I would shoot. Rather than resolving to shoot invaders in any situation, I am now seriously thinking about getting a much bigger, louder, and more intimidating dog.
 
I think my wife was rather neutral about having guns in the house, I had bought my first pistol while she was pregnant with our first child. Fast forward a year, and she is on her maternity leave, and some creepy Kirby vacuum salesman is loitering in our driveway, smoking, and looking then the back of our SUV. She calls me at work and says she is totally freaked out by the guy in the driveway, and can I come home. ( I work about 4 miuntes from home). I tell her I am on my way, and if she is really scared she knows where I keep the pistol on the side of the bed. She then tell me she already HAS my gun in her hand(which she had not shot yet at that time), and then I start to get freaked out thinking about the new mother with a 2 month old baby in one arm, and my XDm in the other, looking through a peephole in the door. Needless to say I drove very fast, and by the time I got home, the Kirby guy had moved down the block, and when I started walking down the block after him, his van pulled up and he left. Now my wife has shot all my guns (and she loves the AR-15!), and has no problems with guns in the house, and was behind me ordering a gun safe, and now we always travel with a pistol. Funny how a personal experience can change somebody's feelings? Also, the local Kirby folks got an earful from me the next day.
 
Key words - Guilt and Bribery. All my guns cost me $200 to $300 extra to bribe my wife. Find something that she just has to have, purchase a safe to lock them up in (so the kids can't get to them) and do a husband and wife swap - her what ever for your gun. Works very well just make sure it is not something you should get her in the first place (something extra special, more guilt on her part). Expensive but works.

Jim
 
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