Weirdo at Work....

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Mastrogiacomo

Mastrogiacomo

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How should I handle this. Due to a misunderstanding, I got into an unpleasant verbal exchange with a guy at work. He got a bad evaluation and since then (about a year) rolls his eyes when he comes in the door, nods his head in disapproval - stupid stuff like that. The guy's gay and it's so obvious so maybe this is hissy way of acting out, but frankly, he should save it for his boyfriend not take it out on me each day. It's subtle but I get the hard ice stares and today he got into another verbal exchange with me that was unpleasant so I mentioned it to my supervisor. I had a talk with his only a couple of days ago where I was told he's basically a jerk and ignore him as he treats everyone that bad. My question - he stares for several minutes waiting for me to look up this morning and the guy pisses me off and intimidates. This is someone I worry about and don't want him looking at me or speaking to me. How should I handle his behavior if the jerk tries to start something again Monday? My supervisor said he'd mention it to someone but this guy's boss won't be in until Tuesday. Your thoughts?
 
Schedule a meeting with HR and your immediate supervisor. Voice your concerns.

If you wait, you run the risk of the irritatant finding out about your complaint, and going to HR himself.

Needless to say, in this PC-climate, you don't want to be on the receiving end of a gay individual's HR complaint. Many in the HR field are being constantly bombarded with pro-gay propoganda in their different industry publications, and have probably been brainwashed into thinking gays are a protected group, to be afforded special consideration.
 
Obviously you are in a hostile work environment and management refuses to address the situation. A trip to your labor attorney may be in order.
 
Colt said:
Schedule a meeting with HR and your immediate supervisor. Voice your concerns.

If you wait, you run the risk of the irritatant finding out about your complaint, and going to HR himself.

Needless to say, in this PC-climate, you don't want to be on the receiving end of a gay individual's HR complaint. Many in the HR field are being constantly bombarded with pro-gay propoganda in their different industry publications, and have probably been brainwashed into thinking gays are a protected group, to be afforded special consideration.
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Suggest to HR that you don't find working in a threatening environment a good idea, and that if it continues you'll have no recourse but to seek legal help. Unless they're brain dead they'll see the $ signs and deal with this problem.

The place I worked at for the last 11 years had a culture that encourageed "constructive confrontation", while this was generally a good thing it sometimes led to problems. I had a fellow send me an email once where he threatened to kill me if I continued to hassle him over his project. I pondered this message for awhile, wondering if this fell under the umbrella of "constructive confrontation" - and decided it didn't. I took the email to HR and told them if they didn't deal with it, I and my attorney would. They flushed the guy immediately and I got a parking spot close to the building (we had NO assigned parking spots at this place) where security could keep an eye on me when I left every day. They took the parking spot away after a few months, somehow they'd decided I was safe. Last I heard this charming fellow now works at HP.
 
I think getting an attorny would be going over board. The guy's a jerk. I did mention it to my supervisor but I'm wondering about sending his supervisor an e-mail just to let him know we had the unpleasant run in. Again, we spoke only two days ago where his boss assured me the guy's a jerk and to ignore him but he's behavior is scary. I don't know if he hates women but it's unwarranted to go out his way to be this unpleasant. My boss said not to expect any changes but I feel if he can't be polite, he should look at the wall when he comes in and not speak to me. I might just hold my ground and wait until his supervisor comes in and just mention it.
 
Hostile work environment

Go to HR, ask for the workers compensation claim forms to open a case for hostile work environment. Take a few days off! :D Go out on stress leave. File a claim. That should take care of the problem.
 
fully expect the jerk to file a complaint on you, full of lies and half truths.

beat him to the punch. file your own complaint, with your truths and honesty. not only is this the right course for you, but its also good for your employer. believe me, your boss would rather pay to support your complaint rather than pay to defend you from his complaint.

BTDT, bought a tshirt.
 
If something like that happened to me at wal-mart (my place of employment :p ) i would kick the guy's ass. But i'm not sure if the wal-mart fix would apply to your situation, i guess the corporate world turns people into wusses.
 
This guy is already a wuss. Why else would a grown man act like such a bitch to a woman that doesn't even speak to him? Seeing how he behaves around the office makes me wonder what his boyfriend is like.
 
he stares for several minutes waiting for me to look up this morning and the guy pisses me off and intimidates.
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File a complaint because someone is staring and she is intimidated?
Come on folks, get real. Rather than looking like a whining paranoid on paper, stay professional.


Put Ex-Lax in his coffee. :neener:
 
WT said:
Obviously you are in a hostile work environment and management refuses to address the situation. A trip to your labor attorney may be in order.
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Document. Document. Document.

After a while, you may have to tell your HR department that if they don't do anything about it, you will have no other choice but to seek legal assistance. My suspicion is, that suddenly the problem will be rectified.
 
Bear in mind if no one else sees this behavior but me, as he directs it towards me, I haven't much leg to stand on. He's the senior employee so he'll be believed over me.
 
Come on folks, get real. Rather than looking like a whining paranoid on paper, stay professional
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sadly, this is the 'professional' course of action.

your state probably has a department set up to handle such complaints. typically that department will try to have the employer take the reins and do something. doesnt mean you are intending to sue, but its a legitimate course of action if your supervisor doesnt believe you.

seniority in any position doesnt necessarily equate with believability. besides, didnt you say that both your supervisor and his both admitted hes a jerk that treats everyone bad?

probably the only reason they havent fired him is because he is gay, and they dont want to risk being sued for 'wrongful termination'. they should be jumping on the fact that a woman has a problem working with this guy or simply being around hiim because of the hostile environment he creates. that would absolve them of any chance of getting hit with wrongful termination on the grounds of his sexual orientation.
 
yes, yes it is! unfortunately you cant just give a well deserved smack upside the head of the offending person and call it good anymore.
 
Tell him that if he doesn't give it a rest, you're gonna start a rumor that he's hetro!:evil:
Biker
 
Mastrogiacomo said:
Bear in mind if no one else sees this behavior but me, as he directs it towards me, I haven't much leg to stand on. He's the senior employee so he'll be believed over me.
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Not necessarily. If you go to your HR department, or even your union, with a list of offenses, and incidents, much weight will be given to your side. They will consider that if the incidents bothered you enough that you took the time to sit and write them down, then there must be merit to your claims, and they should be looked into.

The paper trail needs to be started. If 'it' isn't written down, 'it' never happened.
 
XavierBreath said:
Put Ex-Lax in his coffee. :neener:
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Use Visine. It only takes a couple of drops and works quicker.


Seriously, go to HR and file a complaint. If he were to do it first, you'll almost certainly fare worse no matter what you do after that.
 
+1 on the '(s)he who files first wins . . .',

While I agree that it is a childish situation, it is how things have gone in teh corportae world, and just like in an armed confrontation, the 'authorities' tend to believe the person who calls 9-1-1 fisrt to be the the agrieved party. Good luck -
 
Be nice to the doofus. Smile and wave, do nice things for him. If nothing else it'll confound the fool. At best, it'll let him know that he can't get to you/frighten you.

And then have a male friend call his boyfriend and tell him that he's having an affair with the guy.:D

Jubei
 
Is this behavior constant? If so, enlist some co-workers to watch while they appear to be performing other tasks. Write out the event and get the witnesses to sign it. Even one witnessed event will support your assertion that there have been others.
 
Go directly to HR and file a harrasment complaint. Forget about your bosses, they bend over backwards trying to give the illusion that they are in control of their departements. The want no problems on their record.
Go directly to HR, right away and don't look back.
 
yes, yes it is! unfortunately you cant just give a well deserved smack upside the head of the offending person and call it good anymore.
Click to expand...

I prefer two to the chest and one to the head, myself.

But that's just me.

Sawdust
 
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