Geronimo45, thank you so much for the laugh. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Sad to say I know somebody like that, I used to be stationed with a guy who is a "Former SEAL" and now believes that he is a "Contracted Mercinary" for the President himself, but works in the Air Force as a cover. Also I know this guy who is an armed security guard for an appartment complex who did up his POV as a tactical police vehicle, and carries a loaded AR-15 in the trunk. He also believes he is paid to be in his words "extra tactical". He has been rejected for employment from every PD in CO, and honestly believes that it is because he would out perform every cop on the force. This is why every body should bann stupid people from breeding.
Not long after I got out of the Army I met someone just like the security guard you are talking about. I was working for a large national security firm at a strip mall (no I never acted like a mall ninja, it was just a job). I kept the job because I could sit behind a desk and study (I was in college) when not making patrols. Besides, the security company I worked for would never tolerate a guard trying to act tacticool.
Anyways, my shift always ended with a certain female guard arriving to relieve me. The "mall ninja" I will be talking about was her boyfriend. He used to work for a small independently owned security company that had their own police like vehicles (guards that wanted to drive these vehicle had to buy the vehicles from the security company) and let their guards wear military BDU pants with a tactical belt full of goodies (hand cuffs, baton, mace, flashlight, etc) and military combat/jump/jungle boots.
Rumor has it he got fired from that company for acting too "police like." Even though he wasn't still working security he continued to drive a "policed out" civilian vehicle. Oh, and he had failed to get accepted to the police academy on numerous occasions.
Well, one night the skating rink on the mall property had an all night rave. These events were famous for bringing large number of juveniles and many problems (and some funny ones I could tell). On this night it was the female guards shift. The area was so busy that her boyfriend decided to hang around to protect her. He showed on the mall property in a uniform, wearing all kind of tactical goodies on a tactical belt and was driving his pseudo-police car. I was told that he parked by the mall building, swung his door open, placed one leg out and then slowly emerged from his vehicle like a southern redneck cop from some 70s police movie. The biggest problem was that he was said to be holding a shotgun.
He didn't do anything but stand their poised for action like he was guarding the president. This story (whether true or not) infuriated the mall manager. She had this guy issued a trespass warning from the mall. A few weeks later he was getting letters from the state licensing agency to remove the police stuff from his vehicle. He refused to do so and as a result, the state licensing agency permanently revoked his security license. LOL.... this guy was a real joke.
