The main reason I prefer (and my wife as well) autos over revolvers is we don't like double-action pulls, where the hammer is down on the revolver, and your pulling the trigger pulls the hammer back, rather than single action, where the hammer is already cocked and you pulling the hammer just trips it, and the slide traveling rearward cocks it again with each shot. We only use 1911s, which are ONLY single action. You cock it, place it on safe, and carry it that way. Uncomplicated, easy trigger pull.
Most agree that if you use a revolver for defense, even though most of them can be cocked manually before you fire, on a carry gun, you should only use double action, since the single action pull is usually very light, and there is no way to place the weapon on safe if the hammer is cocked on a revolver. Autos can be placed on safe or decocked if the hammer is cocked.
As for the original question, I find it's really not so much that women (or men for that matter) can't rack the slide, it's just a mechanical action they aren't used to. I know many women with normal strength who rack the slide normally, they're just used to how hard they have to hold the slide, and which muscles they are going to use to rack it. Absolutely, use the grip/push to get started, and this is never incorrect, but over time, most people just get used to it, and out grow it. It's not strength, it's knowing what to expect.