Here's a list of gun nut jokes I've been assembling over the years.
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If your gun collection is valued at more than your 401K retirement plan, you just might be a gun nut.
If you know that the "unique" custom-type bedding block system on the new SIG-Sauer SHR 970 synthetic sport rifle was used by R. Reger of Konigsberg Germany in 1937, and by A. Francotte of Liege Belgium in the early 1930's, you just might be a gun nut. {Named Fredd!}
If you cancel travel plans to go and visit your oldest and closest friends because you just found out there is a gun show that weekend, you just might be a gun nut.
If you ever went grocery shopping with your last 20 dollars till payday and bought 3 gun magazines and some coffee, forgoing the bread, milk and eggs your wife told you to get, you just might be a gun nut.
If the people on SIG-L know more about you than all 9 of your sisters, you just might be a gun nut.
If seeing Bill Clinton's picture automatically sends you into Condition Red, you just might be a gun nut. (Or possibly just someone who doesn't like lecherous, dirty old men and liars!)
If the last truly sensitive, intimate and emotionally open conversation you had with your wife, was on the merits of the 7mm STW cartridge, you just might be a gun nut.
If you think HCI stands for "Hi Caps Installed" or is a new type of "High Concussion Incendiary" ammo, you just might be a gun nut.
If you go to three different gun shows within a month and your excited every single time, you just might be a gun nut.
If you watch La Femme Nikita just to see the weapons, especially the suppressed H&K MP5s, you just might be a gun nut.
If your wife and you argue over who gets to carry the SIG 225 during the summer months, you just might be a gun nut.
you have Colt tattooed on one hand's fingers and 1911 tattooed on the other hand.
ammo importers call you asking if there is anything you are looking for.
you call tell the caliber of a cartridge case just by its sound hitting the floor.
your kids know all the fast food places with in 5 miles of all the local gun shops and ranges.
you named your twins Win and Chester.
when someone mentions a Remington bronze, you ask when they made cannons and it's bore size.
you know the formula of Ed's Red by heart.
you have a pepper popper at the end of your drive.
your doorbell plays a burst of machinegun fire.
your home owners insurance would be cancelled if the underwriter knew just how much ammo/gun powder/primers you have stored.
your gun safe cost more than your newest car.
if you sold your gun stuff, you could buy the top of the line Rolls Royce for cash and get your change in Land Rovers.
the FBI's crime lab calls you for advise.
when asked, on your wedding day, if it was the happiest day of your life you say, "No, that was when I shot Distinguished."
you go on a month's tour of Europe and American ammo companies have to have lay offs.
your car never gets inside the 2 car garage due to the buckets of wheel weights and lead ingots stored there.