SWAT Team Wants Monkey to Join Up

[LawDog]

*sigh*

Sometimes I think one of our local agencies is fielding an entire SWAT team composed of monkeys.

LawDog

 

[Lupinus]

LawDog-
Sometimes Im convinced it's a bunch of donkeys

 

[ka50]

Uuuummmmm.......I thought SWAT was a life-saving organization and not a circus? Am I wrong? Sorry for the pun from the movie SWAT. LOL.

But exactly how does a monkey change "the way we do business"?

Can you imagine that converstaion?

Higher-up: We need a new image
Yes-man: Yes we do, any ideas?
Higher-up: No, you?
Yes-man: I know, let's get a monkey!
Higher-up: I know, let's get a monkey!
Yes-man: Great idea!
Higher-up: Let's mount him a camera, a 2-way radio, a remote-controlled turret gun, and some night-vision. He'll be the Sam Fisher of monkeys!
Yes-man: Excellent idea!
Higher-up: We'll train him for recon work. Oh and to use all of the fancy, High-drag, Low speed, tacti-cool gear we'll give him.
Yes-man: Great!
Higher-up: But what of the funding involved?
Yes-man: We'll just take the other officer's gear and then train more more monkeys for the work. It'd be cheaper and there would be less complaining, no vacation pay to worry about, no hazard-pay, and did I mention less complaining?
Higher-up: We'll just take the other officer's gear and then train more more monkeys for the work. It'd be cheaper and there would be less complaining, no vacation pay to worry about, no hazard-pay, and did I mention less complaining?
Yes-man: Great idea again sir!

We can all see where this is gonna lead.....

LOL that's hilarious..

maybe I should get me a home defense monkey. Arm it with super tactical gear and train it to be a vicious crimefighter while I sip on my whiskey.

Officer: did you shoot this armed robber?
Me: No, the monkey did it!

or

Breaking news at 11, tactical spec-ops swat monkey saves the day, while officers enjoy freshly cooked doughtnuts. The monkey issued the following statement: "Uhh-aaaa... ugh ugh ugh... whaaaa-whaaaa".

 

[Lupinus]

have a troop of little ninja monkies. If nothing else when a bunch of little ninja monkies run out making kung fu moves and sounds the criminals will die laughing long enough for the cops to get there

 

[ArmedBear]

*sigh*

Sometimes I think one of our local agencies is fielding an entire SWAT team composed of monkeys.

LawDog

Man, I just don't know where this hate comes from!

 

[Dr.Rob]

Ok that was funny... i can't imagine a bad guy taking a monkey in a Ninja suit seriously... and it's bound to make a suicidal person laugh long enough for the monkey to disarm them.

And hey we are talking about police monkeys, just like we'd talk about k-9 units... nobody thinks the canine 'officers' are disposable.

"We have a situation sir."

"Relax I'm sending in the monkey."

"The monkey sir? Do you really think that's necessary?"

"Extreme times call for extreme measures"

In other words, the S cab hit the F far more easily with a live monkey anywhere near it.

 

[Fly320s]

SWAT monkey, huh?

Doesn't the Trunk Monkey have that covered? http://www.trunkmonkey.com/

 

[Cosmoline]

Forget the monkeys! Hire the SQUIRRELS!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4489792.stm

Little buggers gutted a dog in a matter of seconds!

 

[RyanM]

Why on Earth would a monkey need a 2 way radio? I didn't know they could speak.

Could be used to communicate with the suspect.

 

[Biker]

Could be used to communicate with the suspect.

That's assuming that the monkey can talk.


Biker

 

[roscoe]

If anyone is going to take them seriously, they need to get a baboon, like the ancient Egyptians used as temple guards:

 

[Firethorn]

I wouldn't bother with Kevlar. The monkey's best bet is being fast and hard to hit.

Remembering what a chimpanzee can do given a few moments, I'd take any monkey seriously.

 

[Strings]

Yeah... I remember playing with the gibbons in Thailand: they're small,but fairly strong for their size. *I* wouldn't want one pissed at me...


And the scary thing is, I have ALWAYS wanted to get a pooch for a pet. Could take it anywhere (almost)...

 

[Joejojoba111]

Eh, now they just went and gave bank robbers new ideas.

Or house burglers.

Anyone think it's an argument in favor of duckbill and birdshot?

 

[mbs357]

Ok...so what's the best round for a monkey/ninja monkey?
Also, how would one of these 'recon monkeys' fit into the average home defense scenario?
I could evnision a few stationed at key points around the house and yard at all times. Using their two way radios to report into security command.......

 

[BRASSM]

Re: SWAT Monkey

Our Tax Dollars at Work. Only in America. The Sixties were good to somebody.

 

[kahr404life]

Issue the monkey a sawed off 10/22, flashbangs, and a large knife. Train him to make banana shots and bring back trophies . When possible promote him into the command staff .