I'm a combat veteran.
I'm well aware that a lot of my brothers, and sisters are fighting monsters inside at times, because I was too there for a while, ( a good while, and I can't say it doesn't bother me even now from time to time) but you can't run from it forever. If it's bothering you, you need to go to the VA, or a brother, and talk about it. I also know that after spending 28 years around soldiers, if there's one thing we're know for... it's bad taste... lol. A lot of us have a type of gallows humor that actually HELPS us get buy in dealing with some of the crap we've seen and/or done. We're the type of people that when things are scary as hell, will cut up with a really messed up joke, or comment that will release the tension, and get us back on track to dealing with the task at hand with a smile our our faces, or a "Shut the **** up Carl". (Although "Carl" can also be just a plain old dumbass)
That being said, I've been shot AT, a lot, (occupational hazard) but I've never been SHOT directly. I've been hit by ricochets twice. (neither bad) I've also had my truck blown out from under me. (I'd rather I was shot)
If you REALLY wanna get dark...
I spent 10 years as a correctional officer in a SHU of a level 4 lock up. I've had poop & pee thrown on me, (numerous times) had the snot kicked outta me, (numerous times) been bit, (went THROUGH my watch strap, and took a chunk out of my wrist) been stabbed twice... had a $20,000 price on my head for breaking up their little smuggling operation with dirty staff...
I've been struck by a car as a pedestrian.
I've been in a tank wreck where I bit the loader's hatch losing most of my teeth...
Been in 3 car accidents. Twice struck from behind, once (post IED retirement) I had a seizure and crashed into a seed company warehouse...
My friends and I played war with BB guns as kids...
AND... I've had this world ending plague. (big deal, I was miserable for two weeks)
Basically, I'm unkillable.
I just have to wait for God to say it's my time.
PS. I'm not really "unkillable" that would be the gallows humor...