Back in the late 1980's the country store I worked at was robbed on the night I was supposed to be working on, but that's another story for another time. Anyway, the young lady that was working my shift had her husband working with her that night. Long story short, he made her husband kneel and then he shot him in the back of the head at point blank range with a .357 mag. loaded with WC's. The round knocked him out cold of course and produced a lot of blood too. But because those were so increadibly under powered, the WC just basically bounced off his skull and the bad guy left thinking he had just executed the husband, who by the way was released from the hospital the next day. Those were a factory load brand called combat, if my memory serves me well. The rest of this story didn't go as well as that particular incident, and people did die, and women raped during his 3-4 day crime spree.
No, I carry full house jacketed hand loads in all my S.D. handguns with the only exception being for my wife and daughter. They both carry .357 mag. wheel guns loaded with high velocity jacketed 110 gr. bullets chronographed at around 1250 fps. I carry a .357 mag. snubby loaded with 125 gr. XTP's or Gold Dots @ 1580 fps, or 158 gr. XTP's or Gold Dots @ 1300 fps, and a very hefty charge of H110 or 296 to get them up there.
Given your desire for stopping power with decent penetration, I would go with a Gold Dot Self Defense bullet, not the hunting one because it doesn't expand as reliably at lower velocity. Golden Saber is another good performing S.D. round. I didn't notice if you reload or not, so based on that I would recomend a factory S.D. round in either Gold Dot or Golden Saber. And if you have a bunch of money, you can order some custom stuff from the people who make CoreBon. I've heard and seen some really good things about their product.