Anybody else have this issue?

[navyretired 1]

I'm not as large as the OP but have been over 6' since the summer I turned 13 years old. From that point forward it seemed everyone had to prove that they could take me or humiliate me.
If I went home beat up, I'd get beat for fighting by my mother (Dad was Dead). When I was in 9th grade. I was forced into a situation in the local Rumble Alley. I decided enough was enough, I was very scared as I'd always been raised that fighting is evil, but this time there was only one way out of the alley with half the school watching.
I literally saw red and everthing went slow motion, I was suspended from school, not for fighting but because I was so big and had beat the Bully so brutally. When I got home my Mom was waiting with a belt. I told her never again, not by her or anyone else.
From that date forward "1961" I've not had to fight, I don't know why but people just leave me along since. I don't go around all pumped up or agressive and I never treaten anyone. Nobody has ever found out I carried concealed. I've only lived by the credo "I will not be a Victim" and that seems to be sensed by aggressive idiots.
After school the only exercise I've did was for 25 years I ran 3-5 miles a day till my knee's gave out. After 3 total knee replacement (yeh I know we only have 2 but I got a broken leg after one replacement so they had to insert titanium rod in femur then another knee replacement)since I've swam 1000 yds 5 day's a week, but the aura still seems to still work, they just leave my old wornout body alone. I don't touch anyone and I won't be touched.

 

[fireside44]

Over the past 3 weeks, I've had SO many people try to start fights with me!

When you are tall and built you not only stick out in the crowd, but are going to be a target for men who think they need to prove something.

If you're really going to press this issue and really want this, go ahead and hit me.

Probably why they chickened out as it were. "Go ahead and hit me" says you aren't afraid to get your licks and hand them out too. Even tough guys who win fights don't necessarily find a fat lip, bloody nose, or aggressive choke hold to be worth it all the time. Sometimes letting the little boys know you ain't scared is all it takes.

I think they were hoping to intimidate you. Once they have failed at that, they have lost their edge.

 

[mcdonl]

Whats the #1 rule of self defense? Avoidance.

Also, it depends on the type of big you are too. I am a Scottish Heavy Athlete. I am big. Not fat, but not all pretty boy muscles either. Just big.

The ripped pretty boy muscle types just piss some people off. If you are just genetically big people equate that to strong, and stay our of your way. If you have big muscles from hanging out in the gym, wear wife beaters, those queer baggy pants, a flat top hair cut and look like something out of a Tony Little commercial AND you are going to places where young men go to drink booze you are asking for trouble.

So, like I said... either way... AVOIDANCE especially if you find your self getting into fights on a regular basis. You are doing something wrong. IMO.

 

[Dravur]

Ya know... it is strange. I hear stories of guys getting into fights.. blah blah blah.

I seem to be the exception. I got in a few fights as a kid, but since I was bigger than most kids, that didn't last long. I am a big guy now, but not all that threatening.

I seem to not draw that kind of person looking for a fight. When a bum asks me for cash, I simply say no, and walk on my way. Either I give off an aura of "don't mess with me" or I just don't have enough experience int he bad parts of town.

Hmmmm, a conundrum...

 

[bobby68]

"Your statements in the post above involve a lot of talking to the bad guy. "

That's all said with the understanding of a CC but not wanting to have to pull it out.

I've been stalked before but it was in SF by a guy i think was looking for a date, not a victim. Scared me though when i thought i was being targeted.

There really are predator's out there who don't care at all about the children. That one sicko (Duncan Something..) in Idaho that stalked and killed the parents to take the kids, tortured and raped the boy and girl. only the girl survived. And as i said, they've begun targeting women around here with kids, and i'd bet it's nothing new.

 

[NMGonzo]

When I was the tallest kid in school, some kids with bad attitudes wanted to woop my rear all the freaking time.

Thank god someone grew taller.

I was not that big, I was not that tough, and I did not want to get hurt.

Years later, after the army, life and all that ... I became stronger, tougher, hardened ... and still unwilling to engage in pointless fighting.

 

[Okiebate]

Ever hear of little man syndrome? Ever wonder why little dogs bark like crazy? It's because they try to make up for being small. Same applies to humans. Some people try to act tough because they are insecure about something else. But some people are just plain @holes.

 

[easyg]

But what gives? Why is it that so many people want to get physical with me? I don't talk to anybody offensively, I don't give strange stares, I don't incite any violence whatsoever.

Well, clearly this strategy is not working for you.
Maybe you should start talking offensively, giving strange stares, and be more prone to incite violence....

then again, maybe not.

Seriously, no, I do not have the problems that you seem to have.
If anything I have the opposite problem....
Way too often strangers approach me and strike up conversation like we're old buddies.
Some folks just can't take a hint and don't seem to understand that not everyone they meet wishes to become best friends forever with them.
And they sometimes seem to get a little offended when I ignore them or refuse to engage in dialog with them.
It's downright weird.

 

[Bovice]

I guess the only logical conclusion is that people just don't make sense. Ever.

 

[Handyguy]

Just proves Billy Cirrington's song-- "GOD is great ,beer is good, people are crazy" !!!

 

[DammitBoy]

Ever hear of little man syndrome? Ever wonder why little dogs bark like crazy? It's because they try to make up for being small. Same applies to humans. Some people try to act tough because they are insecure about something else. But some people are just plain @holes.

+10 Okie. I'm 6'3" and 238lbs - I never start fights. I don't like fighting and avoid it as much as possible. On the other hand, I've been a bouncer in a club for over three years now as an extra part-time night job.

In all that time, I've never seen a big guy start a fight. It's always the little guy, usually 5'9" or less and scrawny.

I never have issues with guys trying to start fights with me, I guess I have the 'stare' that let's them know not to mess with me?

 

[ForumSurfer]

Booze, woman, and attitudes....there are the top 3.

^^^^What he said.

If you're in a questionable area, some drunk guy always wants to hit the biggest guy he sees. If you're in a crowd and your friends start trouble with a group or vice versa, they go for the big guy first. You my friend, are a walking bulls-eye.

For the record, I'm an average guy. I work-out 5 times a week, 5'10" 175. You don't have to be "big" to attract that kind of attention. All you need is a gorgeous woman. Not to brag, but my current girlfriend is the most down to earth woman I've met. She is also redonkulously gorgeous. Quite a package! She has attracted more trouble towards me than anyone I've dated. I've dated blondes that were hot like her…tan, 5'8", naturally “gifted” up top, athletic, just very physically attractive. But something about this brown eyed brunette woman just makes people go nuts. Must be the tan in conjunction with the eyes and hair, makes her look exotic. Some may say she obviously flirts behind my back, but we are talking strangers while on vacation…everywhere we go. I’ve literally been standing on an elevator with a freakin “respectable” lawyer who made an attempt to pass his business card to her and say “Call me if you ever need anything” after we had a brief “elevator conversation” as he exited the elevator. Really? I’m right here, dude?! Not “you two”, not “y’all”…just her with a smug little smile on his face. I said nothing, just intercepted the card, smiled and tossed it aside.

 

[Topspeed]

I used to work with a guy who was 6'7". He started lifting weights and got scary big. I ran into him one evening and said to him that I'll bet he had no problem with people messing with him because of his size. He told me that more people actually challenged him after he got big. He said it was because every punk who thinks he's bad wants to test himself against a big guy.

 

[Ryder]

I used to experience that sort of thing until I got to be in my 30's. I'm also 6'2" (210lbs). It was very odd because I always treated strangers with politeness and gave them extra space. I did this because they didn't know I was a nice guy and I didn't want them to fear me for simply being larger.

What I eventually figured out was that being nice to bad men can trigger their predator instinct. They perceive kindness from others as a weakness to be exploited. I believe our being larger doesn't bother them because they are used to being around people larger than themselves. Unlike us.

I'm still congenial to anyone who greets me first, and I will hold a door for anybody, but I will not waste a single word on someone who can pose a danger to me. A smile and a nod will have to do them. That is generally returned, when it's not you just got the only clue you need about the nature of that person.

 

[walksbyhimself]

I'm about your size, 6'2" but lighter at 230 lbs. I also had an issue somewhat like what you describe, but it was in school, middle and high to be specific. There were several kids, all smaller than myself, who liked to screw with me. Only one "fight", which consisted of him taking a swing, me shrugging it off, telling him he hit like a girl and walking away. (Not a real intelligent or mature thing to say, but hey, I was 12.) Looking back, it seems all they wanted was to "slap the bull's a**", as another poster said. Maybe these "gentlemen" the OP met are still in a high-school mentality? No real issues in college, but there's still time.
I've been told I look intimidating; combination of size, short haircut, and not smiling much, I reckon. I do go out of my way to be polite and courteous, and give plenty of room to other people.

 

[MariusDP51]

Kudos Bovice.