Childish friends are really annoying me.

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ShooterMcGavin

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I ride a motorcycle with some friends once in a while. I have known them for years, but we are not that close. I only see them a couple days a week, and only in the summer.

I saw a bunch of them at the beach today (not literally ON the beach, just at the strip near the beach where people park and meet friends). I was OCing a fullsize M&P40*. One of the guys, who I used to consider to be a decent guy, was grabbing at me, trying to touch my gun. He thought it was cute watching me get annoyed at him, as he was saying "you know I'm just joking". As I was talking with other friends, he would come up behind me and quickly touch my gun. It really pissed me off. I need to pull him aside and explain something. The best way for me to defend against him grabbing my gun is to put my hand on my gun (preventing him from drawing it). If I do that, I am completely open to being arrested (in my state). His fooling around could land one or both of us in serious trouble (not to mention that he is sort of "playing" with a gun!). It really annoyed me.

As I was saying good-bye to the group, a girl in the group started to think it was fun to touch my gun too. When I grabbed her hand away from my gun, she said "it's ok, I have a concealed carry license". :fire: I can just imagine a scenario: she grabs onto my gun to be funny, I twist her hand off my gun and hurt her, and then I am "the abusive jerk" who hurt a girl when she was just joking around.

If I can't get through to them, I will need to avoid being around them, and everyone else who they hang around. If that's the only solution, then that's what I have to do. Another option, but probably not a popular one... I often carry pepper spray (OC spray). I could spray him down, but it would probably hit a bunch of people (and maybe myself) at the same time.

*Please do not give me advice on carry methods. I have many sources to do my own research.
 
If I can't get through to them, I will need to avoid being around them, and everyone else who they hang around. If that's the only solution, then that's what I have to do.
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Bingo. Stop hanging around with these clowns. If they ask you why you never come around anymore, explain why.

I have my fair share of rowdy and occasionally childish acquaintances, but not a one of them messes around when it comes to firearms. They know not to horse around with someone's sidearm.
 
It's a tough thing to do - stop hangin' with your group - but they just don't seem to understand how dangerous it is to do what they're doing.
I fully understand the scenario of hurting someone's wrist who is "going for your sidearm" and then YOU'D be called a jerk instead of her/him.
How about doing concealed carry while you're around the adolecents.
 
If it were me id twist their wrist and made sure it hurt. So they could see the seriousness of the matter and my intentions.
If they don't like that then the finding new friends part will already be half way done.
 
CC would solve that.
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That's what I was thinking. Then next time you see them and gun issue comes up all you have to do is say you stopped open carrying because of immature people, and don't mention CC.
 
CC would solve that.
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Not as much as you think. They know I carry so, when I cover it with my jacket, some of them try to pat me down and pull my jacket aside to be cute. Because of that, CC is NOT more comforting.

When I OC, I use a retention holster. When I CC, I use a non-retention holster.

If it were me id twist their wrist and made sure it hurt. So they could see the seriousness of the matter and my intentions.
If they don't like that then the finding new friends part will already be half way done.
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I totally agree, but... It's tough to catch the one guy in a position to do that. He sneaks around and touches the gun, and then pulls his hand back quickly. When his/my hands are sweaty, he can pull out of my hold.

It sucks because 9 out of 10 of them are cool to hang around and they don't make any issue of the gun on my hip. Also, if I made it clear that I am not hanging around them because a couple of them can't keep their hands off of me, I think the general attitude would basically be "so what?". I don't spend enough time with them to really be "one of the group".
 
Yeah, that's pretty weak dude, It sucks giving up friends but sometimes its for the better
 
Well if you cant catch his hand send a mule kick backwards to let him know its serious business.
This is just me, Im almost 40 and could care less about having friends. So i have a not so good willingness to make and keep them.
I wish you luck, But do what your heart and head tells you too.

I only carry concealed but if anyone went for my gun even in joking id punch them directly in the nose. My reason is very few people know i carry so if it was to happen i would think it was a situation of "Playing for Keeps".
 
Anybody that thinks it's fun to potentially disarm or attempt to hold or touch another person's firearm is seriously looking for trouble. Some things are just not funny under any circumstances. This definitely is one of them. If you can't stash the gun in a saddlebag or someplace out of sight, then I wouldn't carry or I would find new friends that respect other peoples property. You wouldn't just jump on another guys bike without asking would you? It's the same thing.

Thanx, Russ
 
Deja Vu

Shooter, this event reminded me of a [thread=300423]similar post you made[/thread] about three years ago.

Are these the same people?

Is this a chronic recurring event for you?

'Cuz, really, man, in my humble opinion you are exposed to more risk than I would consider healthy.

If these are the same guys, and they are still -- three years later -- still pulling the same childish stunts, then my completely sober recommendation is that you need to recalibrate your "associate" selection process.

To associate with people who chronically misbehave, who continue to demonstrate their lack of regard for your safety and your ownership of your person and property, is to invite eventual "bad happenings."

If it's not the same crowd, then it would seem that something in your own patterns creates opportunities for this kind of event.

Either way, it would seem that something needs to change.

 
Are these the same people?
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Which friends are you referencing from that post in the past? ...the bike friends who have no issue with me carrying, or that ONE friend who turned out to not be a friend (and called me "gay" for carrying)? I have not spoken to her since that post, BTW.

Is this a chronic recurring event for you?
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Which event? The event that someone tries to touch my gun, as described here? That has happened 1 other time in the past (but that ended quickly). When I have carried concealed, I have had guys try to pat me down and lift my jacket to see my gun 2 or 3 times. This is the first time I have ever mentioned this issue.

If these are the same guys, and they are still -- three years later -- still pulling the same childish stunts, then my completely sober recommendation is that you need to recalibrate your "associate" selection process.

To associate with people who chronically misbehave, who continue to demonstrate their lack of regard for your safety and your ownership of your person and property, is to invite eventual "bad happenings."
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The event described here is completely different from the event in my previous posting(s). I have never talked about the issue that happened today in any previous posting (not with these friends nor with any other friends).

This is the first time that touching my gun has become an issue. I have stated in my first post here:
If I can't get through to them, I will need to avoid being around them, and everyone else who they hang around. If that's the only solution, then that's what I have to do.
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Do you NOT agree with my assessment? ...or, do you have better advice for me?

You referenced a different circumstance and then asked me if this is a "chronic recurring event", but this is not a reoccurance for which a similar solution will work.
 
Not Similar Events?

If these events are unrelated, distinct events, then my relating them to one another would be an error.

It did, however, seem that there was a pattern similarity.

Both involved friends who seem to have some trouble in recognizing boundaries.

Both events centered around your bike-related activities.

It was that combination of elements that led me to relate the incidents.

If there is no relating pattern, then my perception would be in error.


Is it simply a coincidence, consequent to the frequency of riding with friends (i.e. riding is frequent enough that any "dumb" event will likely involve them), or do you detect a pattern in this at all?


Oh, and
If I can't get through to them, I will need to avoid being around them, and everyone else who they hang around. If that's the only solution, then that's what I have to do.
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Huh, how did I miss that? Yes, I agree with your assessment.

 
Huh, how did I miss that? Yes, I agree with your assessment.
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It sounds like we are on the same page.

I think the topics in the old thread and this thread are very different, but I won't belabor the point (unless you'd like).

Is it simply a coincidence, consequent to the frequency of riding with friends (i.e. riding is frequent enough that any "dumb" event will likely involve them), or do you detect a pattern in this at all?
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The first thread was mostly a complaint about the laws restricting the carrying of firearms within an area designated 21+ by the liquor commission. I ran into that issue while out riding with friends. This thread involves the immature behavior of friends who I know through riding. Throughout most of the year, I participate in a lot of motorcycle riding. I have met a large majority of my friends through riding. When I have a complaint about anything, riding is bound to be mentioned somewhere in there :) I think the answer is the former.

BTW, I appreciate you remembering my old post and searching for it, in order to reference it here. I am serious, NOT being sarcastic.
 
Friendship is about respect and trust.

Your "friends" obviously do not respect you, and by their actions, are not worthy of your trust.

You make the call...
 
A sharp word for the first offense, then a sharp, painful, and perhaps bruise leaving block against the offender's wrist of the offender might convince him/her that you are not joking.
 
Firearms instructor John Farnam has said (paraphrasing) "Don't go stupid places, do stupid things or hang with stupid people." In my past, I've "hung" with stupid people and gotten into trouble because of it. (I shall not go into details, however, at least no firearms were involved.) Don't do it, mmmkay? :)
 
Also, if I made it clear that I am not hanging around them because a couple of them can't keep their hands off of me, I think the general attitude would basically be "so what?". I don't spend enough time with them to really be "one of the group".
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If the above would be their attitude...why bother?
 
much as I might empathize with the harsh words, twisted wrists, and/or smack 'em in the head urges
it is the worst of all options

OC and/or CC is best done when accompanied by situational awareness, and a desire to avoid violence, and exceptional temperance

see again multiple choice test, you cannot have your cake and eat it too
 
I will need to avoid being around them
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Winner.

As someone else said, they obviously are too foolish to respect you or the gun, so I'd recommend steering clear of them permanently. There are too many good people out there to waste your time with people like that.
 
When I play with my grandkids, I'm not carrying a gun. I learned that lesson a while ago when one of the little fellers stuck his hand in my pocket and nearly grabbed my Ruger LCP when we were foolin' around. It was a wakeup call to me.

No offense, but it sounds like you need to treat your buddies as I do my grandkids: love them, but be aware of their level of maturity.
 
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