earlthegoat2
Member
Pick your battles.
Disarmed...
- Thread starter Impureclient
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Zach S
Member
I agree with Sam.
If I were in your shoes, I would have politely declined dinner. If it causes a problem in any family relations, its your stepfather's doing.
[Dr Phil]
Now, the real question is who's idea was it? Don't just assume it was his idea. Weather they realize or not, a lot of parents will put being the bad guy on their spouse, weather that spouse is a parent or not. A step parent is more likely to be made the bad guy, or even volunteer for it. This diverts the tension from bloodlines and puts it elswhere.
I'm not trying to put tension between your mama and you, but having been that stepfather, it is something to think about.
[/Dr Phil]
If I were in your shoes, I would have politely declined dinner. If it causes a problem in any family relations, its your stepfather's doing.
[Dr Phil]
Now, the real question is who's idea was it? Don't just assume it was his idea. Weather they realize or not, a lot of parents will put being the bad guy on their spouse, weather that spouse is a parent or not. A step parent is more likely to be made the bad guy, or even volunteer for it. This diverts the tension from bloodlines and puts it elswhere.
I'm not trying to put tension between your mama and you, but having been that stepfather, it is something to think about.
[/Dr Phil]
rogerjames
member
I carry anywhere I am legally allowed. If they have a "no gun" sign, I carry, smile and mind my own business.
Are they going to pat you down before turkey dinner? If yes, oblige, if not...
Are they going to pat you down before turkey dinner? If yes, oblige, if not...
Impureclient
Member
Zach S, that is exactly what ran though my mind about this and why I didn't make it an issue. I may very well be my mom with the plan and my stepfather who was the messenger. Not going today was out of the question though. That would've ruined today for everybody involved. I was the going to have to be the one making the adult decisions today and not start an argument over the phone on the logistics of a gun firing by itself in a holster.
Now that Turkey day is over though and Christmas is coming up, I will make it clear this is not going to be another repeat of today. Not really apples for apples analogy but I don't expect them to trade their huge truck in and drive a small car like I do as they feel protected in it and I understand that. I would hope that they soon understand it's the same situation for me and they are taking my protection from me by being silly about a self shooting gun possibly going off in their home.
Now that Turkey day is over though and Christmas is coming up, I will make it clear this is not going to be another repeat of today. Not really apples for apples analogy but I don't expect them to trade their huge truck in and drive a small car like I do as they feel protected in it and I understand that. I would hope that they soon understand it's the same situation for me and they are taking my protection from me by being silly about a self shooting gun possibly going off in their home.
ApacheCoTodd
member
Other than gettin' peeved...
I don't see the problem.
You CCW and let the chips fall where they may knowing full well that you're violating their wishes in their home or...
You lock it in the car.
Their doper son has no bearing.
Him being a "step" has no bearing.
Goof ball comments regarding Baghdad have no bearing.
Foolish ND comments have no bearing.
They don't want a gun in their home, so be it. You go in order to service the relationship - your's and your wife's if not theirs but don't make an issue of it. It's a no-win scenario if you do.
I don't see the problem.
You CCW and let the chips fall where they may knowing full well that you're violating their wishes in their home or...
You lock it in the car.
Their doper son has no bearing.
Him being a "step" has no bearing.
Goof ball comments regarding Baghdad have no bearing.
Foolish ND comments have no bearing.
They don't want a gun in their home, so be it. You go in order to service the relationship - your's and your wife's if not theirs but don't make an issue of it. It's a no-win scenario if you do.
slumlord44
Member
I have not gotten my Illinois concealed carry permit yet. I do not plan on packing at family function or in anyone's home where they would have a problem. To me it is a case of good manners. The exception would be a place that I thought if could get hurt without it. Those are places I should not be in.
Double Naught Spy
Sus Venator
I will add this. If you don't like the rules at somebody else's house, then you start hosting the family get togethers. That way it is somebody else that backs out of the event and if they make an issue of it, then it is they that look like the jerks.
LOL, my nephew ran his head into my concealed 1911 years ago at a family reunion. I just told his mom he ran into my hip bone. Geez that kid could cry!
LOL, my nephew ran his head into my concealed 1911 years ago at a family reunion. I just told his mom he ran into my hip bone. Geez that kid could cry!
Impure;
If I understand you correctly, and I think I do, they've had an incident of threat on their property, perhaps literally at their door. Therefore, I'd think that all parties could agree that the area between their front door and your vehicle should not automatically be regarded as safe. Given that, I agree that you should sit down with both your mom and stepfather, in either your digs or neutral territory, and have a frank dicussion about your right to carry, threats, and their desire not to have a gun in their house. Just be prepared to not be welcome in their home. If they feel uncomfortable being in your home, that's too bad, but their decision not your's.
It's a sad fact of life that facts are frequently trumped by unsupported feelings in matters like this. But, your family, your decision.
900F
If I understand you correctly, and I think I do, they've had an incident of threat on their property, perhaps literally at their door. Therefore, I'd think that all parties could agree that the area between their front door and your vehicle should not automatically be regarded as safe. Given that, I agree that you should sit down with both your mom and stepfather, in either your digs or neutral territory, and have a frank dicussion about your right to carry, threats, and their desire not to have a gun in their house. Just be prepared to not be welcome in their home. If they feel uncomfortable being in your home, that's too bad, but their decision not your's.
It's a sad fact of life that facts are frequently trumped by unsupported feelings in matters like this. But, your family, your decision.
900F
AJumbo
Member
Posts 3, 7, and 10. Be the adult.
BullSlinger
Member
I would have told him where to serve his turkey and offered to place the cranberries along with the bird, stayed home and watched a ball game.
Elkins45
Member
Their house, their rules. I'm in public education. If I take my gun to work I'm committing a felony. It didn't make me change careers
We had dinner with my BIL yesterday. Iraq vet, very gun friendly. I left my gun in the car in their driveway even though I'm 100% sure everyone in the house is fine with it in the home. They have two small and very active boys, and I like to play with them. Too much chance of small hands grabbing something they shouldn't. That's not really germane to your situation, but it does contribute to the conversation about not always having a gun is a reality for many.
Here in KY it's not a violation of law to carry into a business that has a "no guns" sign, but if you get caught they can eject you from the premises or charge you with trespassing. I can't even begin to remember how many of those signs I have ignored over the last 17 years. Nobody sees my gun, nobody knows about my gun, nobody worried about my gun. Physical concealment isn't the only kind of concealment worth practicing. The first rule of Gun Club is "Nobody talks about Gun Club."
We had dinner with my BIL yesterday. Iraq vet, very gun friendly. I left my gun in the car in their driveway even though I'm 100% sure everyone in the house is fine with it in the home. They have two small and very active boys, and I like to play with them. Too much chance of small hands grabbing something they shouldn't. That's not really germane to your situation, but it does contribute to the conversation about not always having a gun is a reality for many.
Here in KY it's not a violation of law to carry into a business that has a "no guns" sign, but if you get caught they can eject you from the premises or charge you with trespassing. I can't even begin to remember how many of those signs I have ignored over the last 17 years. Nobody sees my gun, nobody knows about my gun, nobody worried about my gun. Physical concealment isn't the only kind of concealment worth practicing. The first rule of Gun Club is "Nobody talks about Gun Club."
Elkins45
Member
Buddy, you said a mouthful there. I'm sorry I missed this post the first time I read the thread. I'd sell the farm to have the opportunity to see my parents happy and in good health for one more Thanksgiving.
splattergun
Member
"not going in to Baghdad".... "No Pop, but the last time I checked, virtually all home invasion robberies happened at home. I'll oblige for this holiday dinner, but after that we'll need to have a serious conversation about druggies at your doorstep and being defenseless."
B!ngoFuelUSN
Member
This says it all. Everything is lower on the list.
B
76shuvlinoff
Member
You do like I did, do for the family, bust ass and have Thanksgiving at your place. I barely let the wife help just to see if I could pull it off. (At the zero hour she did have to step in for the assist 
)
My place, my rules.
- Mark
) My place, my rules.
- Mark
Definitely a tough situation to be in...a conversation with mom's guy would be the best idea since he was the one who brought it to you. Perhaps he doesn't fully agree with mom's wishes but is making a sacrifice. Any other family members who could offer support to your cause? Family at Thanksgiving is really important to me and it is to you too given your posts. Try to talk this one through.
jhb
Member
This is I don't let family or friends know I carry. What they don't know, won't bother them.
So never mention it again...come next couple of holidays....you won't get that response anymore.
Yeah not the best way but it works.......
So never mention it again...come next couple of holidays....you won't get that response anymore.
Yeah not the best way but it works.......
breakingcontact
Member
Need to separate reason and emotions. If possible, explain how mechanically the gun cannot "go off", explain how the holster ensures that as well and that safety is your top concern as well. If reasonable enough to listen and understand they will then say "well I still dont like".
Thats the harder part, trying to get them to realize (politely) that they dont have a rational reason to be afraid of the gun, they are acting on emotions.
You may never get them to be huge gun fans but hopefully they can come to respect your choice and arm themselves, refusing to be victims.
Thats the harder part, trying to get them to realize (politely) that they dont have a rational reason to be afraid of the gun, they are acting on emotions.
You may never get them to be huge gun fans but hopefully they can come to respect your choice and arm themselves, refusing to be victims.
A couple of good points have been brought up-
-Their house, their rules
-It's called "Concealed Carry" for a reason
-It's not worth starting family row over
Let me add-
-Come up with a contingency plan for this situation
-Tell them you will respect their wishes
-Ask they show respect to you by not using such ridiculous and outrageous justifications for asking you to not carry a concealed firearm in their house
-Ask if they can provide a place to "hang up your gunbelt" when you come to visit. It's safer to remove your handgun in the privacy of a home than while out in the car
-Their house, their rules
-It's called "Concealed Carry" for a reason
-It's not worth starting family row over
Let me add-
-Come up with a contingency plan for this situation
-Tell them you will respect their wishes
-Ask they show respect to you by not using such ridiculous and outrageous justifications for asking you to not carry a concealed firearm in their house
-Ask if they can provide a place to "hang up your gunbelt" when you come to visit. It's safer to remove your handgun in the privacy of a home than while out in the car
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Thermactor
member
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2008
- Messages
- 992
Tough situation. They drew first blood. If it were me, I'd cut them off for a while, but let them know exactly the reason why.
mdauben
Member
I know I've missed turkey day but I thought I'd offer my two cents anyway. I strongly disagree with those who advised to carry anyway. Misguided they may be but it's their house, it disrespectful to lie to them and carry against their stated wishes. IMO simply complying this once was the mature thing to do. It was bad form for them to spring this on you at the last minute but it's probably best to avoid the confrontation on the holiday.
Now that this holiday is over, I would agree with some of the other posters, arrange to sit down with your Step (and your mom too if you think she was actually involved in thus decision) and explain the fallacies of their arguments, how after the attempted violence and invasion of their home you simply don't fee safe visiting them unarmed. If they still won't budge, then suggest that in future perhaps you should all meet at your home or a mutually agreeable public location.
As my own parents are both gone, I would urge you not to let this ruin your relationship with your mother (or your step if he's important to you). They won't be here forever and once they are gone any disagreements will seem unimportant.
Now that this holiday is over, I would agree with some of the other posters, arrange to sit down with your Step (and your mom too if you think she was actually involved in thus decision) and explain the fallacies of their arguments, how after the attempted violence and invasion of their home you simply don't fee safe visiting them unarmed. If they still won't budge, then suggest that in future perhaps you should all meet at your home or a mutually agreeable public location.
As my own parents are both gone, I would urge you not to let this ruin your relationship with your mother (or your step if he's important to you). They won't be here forever and once they are gone any disagreements will seem unimportant.
76shuvlinoff
Member
This ^ is truth.
My mother died way too young at 64, buried Dad two years ago at 90. I could always use another day.
Impureclient
Member
I appreciate all the input. I knew I would get a lot of great advice here and wasn't let down. It's the reason I immediately came here after I got that call although I did make the decision to disarm
pretty much without thinking about it and walked out the door right away hoping the matter wouldn't have to come up. I think I made the right decision to let this slide yesterday and now just have
to get this straightened out for next time.
pretty much without thinking about it and walked out the door right away hoping the matter wouldn't have to come up. I think I made the right decision to let this slide yesterday and now just have
to get this straightened out for next time.
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