Disarmed...

[Surly]

I would have declined and asked if they want to have Christmas dinner at my place under my rules...they WILL carry a gun. If they don't have one, one will be provided and it will be loaded.

I never trade my security unless I'll go to jail for not doing so. Family rules don't carry the weight of the law. If feelers get hurt, maybe they need to reconsider their position based upon the previous ND's you have had while carrying in their presence.

 

[Double Naught Spy]

I can see going full bore and standing your ground about this issue if maybe you are visiting family in Ferguson, MO this weekend. However, that some of y'all can't imagine going without a gun for a few hours in and elder's home, as a guest, and want to put up a stink about it...WOW.

The whole 'guns before family' even for a short period of time attitude is pretty disturbing.

 

[Sam1911]

Kind of depends on whom is doing the imposing. It isn't necessarily guns before family so much as the inane disrespect and affrontery of having the gall to make such a demand in the first place.

The request doesn't say as much about his (or their) attitude about guns as it does about their value and respect for YOU.

A very great deal is communicated through that conversation if you are aware enough to hear what's really being said.

 

[420Stainless]

I'm having a difficult time understanding those that are basically saying just do what they wish and be happy they are still with you. I loved my mom and think about her often - her love and guidance has shaped much of who I am and what I do. But if she were still alive today (she passed away when I was 20), I'd hate to think that I would be going against my own principles just to please her wishes. I'd rather risk a rift with family members than to tailor my life to keep in their graces. As much as I love to teach and give advice to my children, I hope that they will grow to take the responsibility that is legally theirs as adults and that I, in turn, will not feel the need to dictate their behavior. At some point, adults should act toward each other as adults and not as parent and child any more. That doesn't take away the love and bond they should have for each other. As I stated in an earlier post, there are conditions in which I'd be willing to comply with their wishes for a few hours, but simply doing so under the threat of disharmony is not one of them.

 

[X-Rap]

To read so deep as to know what is being communicated take knowing more than what I can gather from a few posts on a forum.
There might be reasons for the request.

 

[Wishoot]

One of the many reasons a small LCP is a must-have CCW IMO. My liberal family hates firearms. They have no clue that I have one strapped to my side.

Ironically, it's never gone off all by itself either.

 

[Praxidike]

Never thought this day would come. Well it happened. I'm ready to walk out the door to my mom's for dinner and called her just in case if I needed to grab anything at the last second on the way there. All good but then she says my stepfather needs to tell me something. He gets on the phone and says he doesn't want me bringing my gun for dinner. These are the same people that had some drugged up kid banging at their door, jumped their fence to try get in and eventually tacked outside in the driveways when the police finally arrived. He starts getting into all this how the gun could go off by itself or fall and go off. Facepalm....really? Then how he's not impressed with firearms even though he fired them a little when he was younger.

Here I am ready to buy them one of their own due to situations like the drugged up psycho recently and they are doing this. He even said I am coming to Thanksgiving dinner and not going into Baghdad? Yes because that's why we all carry, when we are going into battle in a war zone. I guess they forgot why I'm carrying now due to the ex-con who tried pushing his way into my truck when I was picking up pizza. The amazing part is that I thought that as people get older, they become more wise.

Obviously I said no problem but I just can't believe they are "those" people" now. I am just so infuriated right now but I'm not going to ruin Thanksgiving and just comply. I guess after this I will have to teach them the lesson that if I go somewhere, so does my wallet, keys, phone and gun. After this I guess I am not welcome in their home any more because nobody is going to tell me my safety is not a concern. This is so ridiculous. I am just so fumed I can't even think straight right now.

I'm just curious OP, what kind of gun are you carrying? If you're toting around an AR15 or have a large full sized pistol openly strapped to your side in someone else's home while surround by family, friends, and children, then I understand why they're making a big deal out of it. It would be a little weird to me too...

My family are NY liberals who hate guns too. They know that I have guns and a CCW permit, but since I keep my weapons out of sight, it's out of their minds. I feel like there's more to the story (something in the past) that the OP is leaving out.

 

[Praxidike]

One of the many reasons a small LCP is a must-have CCW IMO. My liberal family hates firearms. They have no clue that I have one strapped to my side.

Ironically, it's never gone off all by itself either.

I'm in the same boat... I find that people who hate firearms have no problems being around them just as long as they do not see them and we aren't bring attention too ourselves.

I find it funny and hypocritical when gun owners get pissed off over other people invoke their Rights. It's their home. While I understand where he OP is coming from, It's THEIR HOME! They only disinvited your firearm in their home; they didn't disinvited you.

 

[Pilot]

Last year I attended a New Year's day party at a relatives house in the center of a large urban area. I live in the far out suburbs, so I took the train into the city, then walked from the train station to my relative's home, about 35 minutes. I wouldn't do this unarmed. They don't know I carry concealed, and I don't know their policy, or view on guns in general. It has never come up, nor will I bring it up.

However, they are "city people", and one is a lawyer with very liberal/progressive views, so I can only guess how they feel about guns. Nobody knew I was carrying, as it was deeply concealed, and it was a non issue. I like don't ask, don't tell in these situations, as it is nobody's business if I carry concealed. Now, if they guessed that I was going to come armed, and asked me not to carry, then I would respect that, and then make the decision on whether to go or not.

Given the circumstances, I think the OP did fine.

 

[thewillweeks]

Do not conceal and carry if they told you not to! That's a huge no no!

Tell them if they aren't comfortable with your lifestyle choices then you aren't comfortable with them and politely uninvite yourself from future social functions, or offer to host them if you're to close with family to cut them out like that.

Or...leave it in the car. In the car is still pretty close during daylight hours, if you feel unsafe there leave before it's dark.

 

[kvtcomdo]

Concerning the post by Grub Master:

Best comment on the whole thread.

The most important one as well.

 

[Biohazard1993]

I try not to leave my firearm unattended especially in a car unless going into a school or bank or similar to where I am out quick. On a same note I do not leave my house without a firearm and that is why I have a few different sized pistols for different occasions. That being said, minus the LC9S being tucked away in my waistband in a foxx IWB which is for most people unnoticeable, it is their house and I really respect that. I try to imagine being in your shoes and would have to decline the dinner politely. I would explain to my mother why, if she got upset or wondered and would simply state that I am not leaving my firearm at home or worse in my car simply because of misunderstandings regarding firearms and that I am not changing that part who I am for these situations. I would be declining a diner date not calling them foul names and cursing their existence, which many people assume you are doing automatically if not being compliant with every wish someone makes. Decline politely, explain politely, but do not change who you are if you don't want too, it isn't impolite to stand for who you are in a firm but respectful way. I would explain to her that I have not murdered them accidently yet and that as of now my gun is not like my smart phone and does not do things I don't tell it to do. And then if they were interested I would educate them on how firearms work and how most of them are completely safe even when dropped. I love educating people that want to learn!

 

[Agsalaska]

Just go and leave the gun in the car.

Seriously, it's not that necessary to carry a gun everywhere.

I 100% agree. I could not imagine missing a family thanksgiving over something like this.

 

[Agsalaska]

Il have to be honest after reading thru this thread. I cant believe a few of you would ignore such a request and conceal anyway. Thats a shame.

 

[Biohazard1993]

I can see going full bore and standing your ground about this issue if maybe you are visiting family in Ferguson, MO this weekend. However, that some of y'all can't imagine going without a gun for a few hours in and elder's home, as a guest, and want to put up a stink about it...WOW.

The whole 'guns before family' even for a short period of time attitude is pretty disturbing.

It's not "guns before family". It is "peoples' immediate family wife and kids, and anyone else's safety at the event before a family get-together". The people who refuse to let you enter the home with a gun chose "guns before family" because they are uncomfortable with a safe and caring family member carry a gun who has been safe thus far and would put their fears before having a unified family experience. seriously you are not going to one family event until you have a discussion with them on where you stand with your life decisions, not declaring an all out unnecessary war with them. There is middle ground between brown-nosing and being a complete arse, and between being a sheep and a crazed gun wielding nut.

 

[Biohazard1993]

One of the many reasons a small LCP is a must-have CCW IMO. My liberal family hates firearms. They have no clue that I have one strapped to my side.

Ironically, it's never gone off all by itself either.

+1 lol! I love your post, seriously though. LC9S with much carry under its belt and no random shots either. Maybe we are just lucky and our Rugers listen to us. lol!

 

[Double Naught Spy]

The people who refuse to let you enter the home with a gun chose "guns before family" because they are uncomfortable with a safe and caring family member carry a gun who has been safe thus far and would put their fears before having a unified family experience

1. It is their castle. Period.
2. Their paranoid fears carry more weight than your paranoid fears because it is their castle. Period.

Whether the family member is "safe and caring" presumes a LOT. Sometimes people don't want you to carry in their homes because they do have knowledge about you and how you handle a gun, about your attitude, ego, habits, and temper.

Or, they just may be scared of guns and it has nothing to do with the OP as a person. The OP is welcome, but his gun isn't.

 

[oneounceload]

Agree - and this has been hashed over recently regarding a hospital, place of employment and someone else's house all with the same result. those who think that the rules and wishes of private property owners get trumped by their paranoia and those who choose to respect those wishes and rights of others

 

[redneck2]

If I had asked someone to not carry in my house, and they did anyway would be treated extremely rudely. At best, you'd be shown the door and never let in again. At worst, I'd consider calling the cops and have you arrested. Period. My roof, my rules

Anyone that suggests defying someone's mandate in their home is a total jerk and jackass

You can leave it in the car. You would if you went into your local grade school, etc. You're not Wyatt Earp. Since probably less than 1/10th of 1% of the population carries every day I think you can live without your shootin' iron for a few hours

That said, as I type this I have four loaded pistols within ten seconds from me. But, this is my house

 

[tomrkba]

Yes, it is their "castle". The request itself is dishonorable, shows an incredible disregard for the person's safety, is usually unintentionally insulting and is often based upon ideology. I do not tolerate such behavior.

Long ago, I trained my family that my firearm comes with me. If they don't like it, and want to see me, then they can come to my house. Fortunately, this has not been a problem.

 

[grter]

To each their own. It is their house. If you respect them, the smart alec comments about Bagdad aside, you will make some effort to resolve this in a logical way.

If your assurance that you will comply is so precious to you then you are either going unarmed or not going at all, if you are more of the pragmatist type then don't ask and don't tell will probably work.

Getting patted down at the door would probably be a deal breaker for me the very moment they try whether I complied with their wishes or not.

I am glad it worked out and remember the FACTS refute anti antigun claims EVERY TIME.

People who are anti gun are very much like religious groups that cling to irrational beliefs because their faith is built around them.

Fanatical anti gun believers will do likewise and rapidly tearing down their belief system before their eyes can leave permanant emotional scars and do more damage than good.

The problem comes when they demand that others follow their faith or suffer severe consequences for not believing.

If it continues to the point where it gets out of hand (such as at door patdowns, continued unsoliceted verbal abuse, or any other forms of harrassment about your choice of security) an understanding to respect each others wishes will have to reached or established.

 

[LockedBreech]

It's a tough situation. I recently went from 7 years on a college campus (where I was miles away from my guns) to working a job that welcomes carrying in a very gun-friendly town. It has been a huge adjustment and really makes me appreciate not having to be around illogical phobias and political knee-jerking.

I can't really advise whether I'd still carry. That's a difficult question that largely depends on the people and place involved.

Always sucks when someone you care about ends up on the other side of the fence. Sorry bud.

 

[Impureclient]

what kind of gun are you carrying?

Kahr Cw9 iwb at 4o clock, it is invisible even wearing a t-shirt and shorts. They wouldn't have known if I did carry it unless they were looking for it.

I feel like there's more to the story (something in the past) that the OP is leaving out.

Nope, that's what is so weird about it. This was totally unexpected.

 

[Ed N.]

Out of curiosity, do they visit you in your home? Obviously they know there will be guns there. Do they feel too threatened by them to visit you?

 

[grter]

I think you handled the situation quite well and I am optimistic that it will work out. Thank you for sharing this. It is something I will think about and perhaps learn from.