OnPointFirearms
Member
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2005
- Messages
- 93
Chalk up another black eye for the state of Florida, my home. A couple of weeks ago, a hillbilly's pet python escaped from its cage and killed the man's 2 year old daughter. It made headlines across the nation-- and exposed a growing problem that Floridians have been aware of for years. You see, the Everglades is crawling with killer snakes. Giant, man-eating snakes who are not native to these parts.
To learn more, simply flip on the History, Discovery, or Science channels and you'll see specials documenting the chaos in south Florida. You'll be shocked. Conservative estimates are in the neighborhood of 30,000+ giant snakes in the Everglades alone-- and realistically it's closer to 100k. Over the years, village idiots from all over Florida have released their "pets" into the wild and they have multiplied with extreme prejudice-- as these jumbo reptiles have no natural predators. Once in awhile a gator gets one, but most of the time these snakes are unchecked-- wreaking havoc on the local wildlife population.
Now, our government is trying to tackle the issue by throwing money at the problem. When in fact, we should be throwing LEAD at the problem. The brilliant thinkers in our government are spending $10 million over two years to have some eggheads research the problem and come up with a solution. Meanwhile, the tree-huggers are making sure that the snakes will be put down in a humane method. Humane? You've got to be kidding me. No shooting, no slicing, no snaring, no fun.
My solution is a cheap one. The EPA is worried about lead in the Everglades, so we'll use Black Cloud steel shot just like the Duck Commanders. Forget about air boat rides. Let's get some good ole boys out in the thick of it-- guys who know the terrain. Pay 'em $100 per head-- literally. It's simple Snakeconomics, my friends. It'll create good paying jobs for folks in Florida who desperately need it. We can hedge taxpayers from another huge pork-laden government project AND we get to rid ourselves of these evil alien snakes from Burma!
So, who's with me? I'm taking a Taurus Judge on the job-- specifically the new Public Defender model. I have plans to Duracoat it in WWII green and call it the "Bull Gator"-- paying homage to the Taurus bull and my beloved Florida Gators (the only species actually getting confirmed kills on these snakes). I'll be sure to post up some pics of the project soon.
Have a good one and God bless. -- Evan