This happend about 2-3 years ago and I always send it to fellow gun people when they need a laugh. My friend Jeff and I decided to mark up a conversation with an old friend of mine over gun control. My favorite parts are the ones in blue. 
Lisa: The Anti-Logic
The Story:
This is the story of our friend Lisa who entered into a discussion with Kevin about firearms. We felt after suffering through the horror of this discussion we needed to share it with the world. In this debate Lisa exemplifies the typical “liberal idiotâ€. Warning: while reading this your brain may want to chew its way out the back of your head. Be careful…….and with that read on……
Key:
Green: Anti-Logic
Orange: Complete Nonsense
Blue: Contradictory Statements
Red: Our Comments
Note: Spelling and grammatical errors have been fixed for ease of reading.
Kevin: I'm trying my damndest to fix this paintball gun but no dice yet
Lisa: ahhhhhhhh
Lisa: I don't understand the point
Kevin: what do you mean?
Lisa: in a paint ball gun
Lisa: I don't get it
Kevin: ummmm to play paintball
Lisa: ok I guess (Guess??)
Kevin: what's there to guess?
Lisa: and what do you need a rifle for?
Kevin: what do you need anything for?
Lisa: omg you didn't say that
Kevin: omg yes I did
Lisa: forget it...I’m not going there
Kevin: going where???
Lisa: Dick used to say that all the time...and it would piss me off something fierce
Lisa: it's stupid to say (Why is it stupid to say?)
Kevin: no it's not.....think about it....what do you really NEED?
Kevin: food, water, air
Kevin: that's it
Kevin: everything else is just personal preference
Lisa: you really don't need those things either (ummm if my biology is correct…yes you do)...think about that...you're just going to die...everyone might as well just kill themselves and get it over with (wow perfect logic….you first, we’re right behind ya)
Kevin: well that's pretty grim
Lisa: well so was your statement (no it wasn’t, he spoke the truth)
Kevin: ummm no.....the only things you need to survive are food water and air....how can you disagree with that?
Lisa: I just think your statement was stupid (but he was right!!!)...I'm sorry you take things so f**kin literal (How else can you take that?)...maybe I should say...what do you WANT a rifle for?
Kevin: jeez no need to go off the handle.....sorry if I hit a nerve
Lisa: I’m sorry I just hate it when people say stupid ???? like that
Kevin: well it bothers me when people ask me why I need a rifle......just cause they don't see the point in it they assume no one else does
Lisa: well then ????in answer the question...I didn't ASSUME anything...I innocently asked. What do you need a rifle for? (Yeah….real innocent) you have no idea what my opinion about guns is. (I think I can take a guess….using what….LOGIC)
Kevin: ok.....
Kevin: 1. for target shooting
Kevin: 2. for self-defense
Kevin: 3. I collect them
Kevin: 4. I find them interesting
Kevin: how's that?
Lisa: wonderful
Kevin: and I didn't mean YOU assumed that I was talking about people in general
Lisa: well you were talking to me. Not people in general
Kevin: Kevin: well it bothers me when "people" ask
Kevin: not you
Lisa: well obviously it bothered you that I asked or I wouldn't have gotten the answer I got
Kevin: I’m sorry I’m just a bit edgy with that....you have no idea how many arguments I’ve gotten in because people don't know what they're talking about and think they do
Kevin: so I apologize
Lisa: I accept...but I guess you should know...I don't like guns...and I was very happy that we didn't go to that beef and beer thing last weekend. Seems it was at a gun club
Kevin: yes I told you that
Lisa: Hmm...I don't remember you telling me that...Billy got home and was telling me about some game they were playing shooting stuff...and I was sooooo glad I didn't go. I would have wanted to leave as soon as we got there.
Kevin: ok.....why don't you like guns?
Lisa: ok...I have no idea what the laws are...or the rules...or the technical ????...but... (Well that’s apparent)
Kevin: well I just want to know why YOU don't like guns
Lisa: don't get a f**kin attitude kev...chill (How can she tell attitude over a computer?)
Kevin: I’m not
Lisa: riiiiiiiight
Lisa: but anyway
Kevin: look I’m just trying to have a discussion
Lisa: they are dangerous...and there is no reason to play games with guns and risk an injury to anyone.
Kevin: no attitude involved
Lisa: plain and simple
Kevin: why are they dangerous?
Lisa: hmmm
Kevin: did you know 10 times more people are killed in car accidents than by guns?
Lisa: ever see the result of a gun shot wound?
Kevin: sure have
Lisa: haha that's the stupid statistic I ever heard... (Must not have heard many statistics)
Lisa: think about that one kev
Kevin: why?
Lisa: how many people have cars compared with how many people have guns?
Kevin: there are over 60 million gun owners in the U.S alone
Kevin: and over 200 million guns in the U.S
Lisa: and your point is? (Didn’t he just answer your question?)
Kevin: Children Accidental Death Rates (Ages 0-14)
Cause Number
Motor-vehicle 2,900
Drowning 965
Fires, burns 676
Mechanical suffocation 474
Ingestion of food, object 185
Firearms 142
Lisa: look at that age range...0-14...they shouldn't have access to a gun (what difference does that make?)
Lisa: and I told you...I don't care about the stats, rules or laws (you’re right stats, rules, or laws never helped solve anything)...they are dangerous bottom line
Kevin: should they have access to a pool to drown in?
Kevin: so is everything else.....so that argument doesn't hold water
Lisa: I refuse to argue with you (who’s the one cursing the other out?)...some guns are necessary. Army, police....and such...most guns are not...
Kevin: so then why are cars that go over 75 mph necessary?
Lisa: I said I refuse to argue with you (well then stop…you’re the only one arguing)
Kevin: I’m not arguing
Kevin: I’m presenting you with the facts
Lisa: facts? Ha (what do YOU consider a fact??)
Kevin: so you think I’m lying?
Lisa: no I think your facts aren't comparable (look below for comment)
Kevin: comparable to what?
Lisa: swimming pools and guns? C’mon on now
Kevin: more kids died in swimming pools than guns.....so by your argument swimming pools are dangerous and should be banned......right?
Lisa: would you let you kids go swimming?
Kevin: only with adult supervision
Lisa: would you let them play with a loaded gun?
Kevin: "play" no.....would I let them shoot at a range...yes
Lisa: see...different
Kevin: yes definitely
Kevin: I’m not saying kids should play with guns....any parent who has little kids and doesn't lock up their guns is irresponsible
Lisa: well by your "facts" they shouldn't have pools either (By his facts and YOUR argument kids shouldn’t have pools)
Lisa: and pools are also required to be locked up
Kevin: not without adult supervision
Kevin: they shouldn't
Lisa: I would tell my kid to go swimming
Lisa: I would never tell my kid to play with a gun
Lisa: it's just unnecessary (yet swimming is of course necessary)
Kevin: well now you're being incomparable
Lisa: no I’m not
Lisa: I agree there should be a right to bear arms (really?? Coulda fooled us)
Kevin: I never said kids should "play" with guns
Lisa: but the law should be updated (which of the 20,000 and why?)
Lisa: well I say no one should play with guns
Kevin: kids shouldn't touch a gun unless a responsible adult is present
Lisa: it’s unnecessary (Then what is?)
Lisa: kids shouldn't touch a gun period
Kevin: it's been proven that if you teach a kid how to use a gun and explain to them not to touch them they have a much lower danger
Kevin: it's like anything else if you make it mysterious and forbidden they want to see it more
Lisa: I don't give a ???? about that....get off the kids thing...I don't care how old you are...it shouldn't be for play (whoever said anything about kids playing with guns???)
Kevin: well no kidding
Kevin: when did I say otherwise???
Lisa: you collect them....
Kevin: yes.....so?
Lisa: that's like play...I friggin collect precious moments (Since when does collect mean play?)
Kevin: do you sit there and play with them?
Kevin: or do you keep them on the wall or in a case?
Lisa: sometimes I love to look at them. They are beautiful (We can only assume that when she made collect equal play she also changed look to play as well)
Kevin: well then it's the same thing
Lisa: I don't have to lock them up
Lisa: definitely not the same thing
Kevin: ok you're confusing me.....what is your argument?
Kevin: the main fact is that there are more innocent lives saved and protected by guns than those that are taken or hurt.
Lisa: guns should not be incorporated with fun (Don’t different people enjoy different things?)....only should be used by police and army...and I guess hunters but they should be required to keep them locked up at the hunting place...no games...no collecting...nothing unnecessary. (Huh??...It hurts sometimes….it really does)
Lisa: I doubt that.
Kevin: I’ve been reading on firearms law since I was 14...trust me I know
Lisa: I TOLD YOU I'M NOT INTERESTED IN LAWS (Why not??)
Kevin: so what you're saying is that you believe what you believe and no amount of scientific studies, facts, and statistics will ever change that?
Lisa: they are dangerous Kev...bottom line....and you can't tell me they aren't...and I don't care what else is or isn't dangerous...they are dangerous and they do take innocent lives...I know they help protect...and I agree that Police and military should use them and carry them....but as for just having them cause you like them is unnecessary...just playing games with them is unnecessary. And no...No facts or stats will change my opinion. I will put my kid in a car seat in my car, and take them swimming, and
Lisa: let them do plenty of things...they will never shoot a gun. (Along with being ridiculous….she’s not open to facts….rather dumb)
Kevin: how can you justify that.....you're saying that you know what's true just because you know, when people have been looking at the facts for years and know exactly what guns do and don't?
Lisa: You saying guns don't kill people? (When did he ever say that?)
Lisa: that's all I need to know.
Kevin: no....I’m saying guns kill a lot more bad guys than good guys to put it in layman’s terms
Kevin: and that guns in civilian hands are a major cause for a decrease in crime
Lisa: its unfortunate that the idiots in Philly and in schools, and God only knows where else have to kill people and ruin it for you...but I don't like it...and I don't care about the friggin laws so stop telling me. (Once again…..why not?)
Lisa: you aren't going to change my mind and I’m rather tired of talking about it.
Kevin: see and that's exactly why I’m edgy.....because people have a closed mind
Lisa: I don't have a closed mind (Clearly you do!!!)...I say cops and military should use them.
Lisa: I don't care what profession my husband has...I will NOT have a gun in my house. (What if he’s a cop or a military officer???)
Kevin: sure you do....you refuse to admit that civilians can have a positive impact with guns
Lisa: what exactly is the positive impact?
Kevin: Survey research during the early 1990s by criminologist Gary Kleck showed at least 2.5 million protective uses of firearms each year in the U.S. "(T)he best available evidence indicates that guns were used about three to five times as often for defensive purposes as for criminal purposes" (Kleck, Targeting Guns, 1997).
Lisa: Jesus Christ
Kevin: Most protective uses do not involve discharge of a firearm. In only about 0.1% of protective gun uses are criminals killed and in only 1% are criminals wounded. A Dept. of Justice survey found that 40% of felons chose not to commit at least some crimes for fear their victims were armed, and 34% admitted being scared off or shot at by armed victims. (James D. Wright, Peter H. Rossi, Armed and Considered Dangerous, 1986)
Lisa: what do I have to do to tell you I don't want stats and laws??????????????????? (Did he not just answer your question?)
Kevin: why? because they prove what you don't want to believe?
Lisa: by telling me that sh*t...just makes me believe that you are a follower and a not a believer is all. (If you believe in something wouldn’t you follow it??)
Kevin: because I do research???????
Kevin: and can find reasons to back up what I believe????
Kevin: if you were talking about surgery and said to a doctor "I’m going to do the surgery this way and I don't want to see any statistics otherwise" even if they show a better way wouldn't that be ridiculous?
Lisa: Kev...stop (Why cause you can’t handle the truth?)
Kevin: we can't have an intelligent discussion?
Lisa: this isn't intelligent
Kevin: LMAO why not?
Lisa: because you are friggin throwing stats at me (Of course she’s right intelligence and statistics don’t mix)...I don't have discussions like that (Yeah cause that would be too logical)
Kevin: so you're saying stats are useless?
Kevin: and we shouldn't use them
Lisa: you just like to argue...and I'm tired of it now. I don't like them.
Lisa: oh ???? kev
Lisa: ????in stop it
Lisa: I love stats
Lisa: they are important (Then why don’t you want to hear about them??)
Kevin: just not when they are against your argument basically?
Lisa: I wanted to be a statistician at one point
Lisa: f**k you kev
Lisa: screw it (Why cause you’re wrong?)
Kevin: well that's what you're saying
Lisa: bye
Kevin: I’m not getting mad...you are
Lisa: BYE
Lisa: you don’t discuss kev
Lisa: you argue
Lisa: and I can't take it
Talk about :banghead:
Lisa: The Anti-Logic
The Story:
This is the story of our friend Lisa who entered into a discussion with Kevin about firearms. We felt after suffering through the horror of this discussion we needed to share it with the world. In this debate Lisa exemplifies the typical “liberal idiotâ€. Warning: while reading this your brain may want to chew its way out the back of your head. Be careful…….and with that read on……
Key:
Green: Anti-Logic
Orange: Complete Nonsense
Blue: Contradictory Statements
Red: Our Comments
Note: Spelling and grammatical errors have been fixed for ease of reading.
Kevin: I'm trying my damndest to fix this paintball gun but no dice yet
Lisa: ahhhhhhhh
Lisa: I don't understand the point
Kevin: what do you mean?
Lisa: in a paint ball gun
Lisa: I don't get it
Kevin: ummmm to play paintball
Lisa: ok I guess (Guess??)
Kevin: what's there to guess?
Lisa: and what do you need a rifle for?
Kevin: what do you need anything for?
Lisa: omg you didn't say that
Kevin: omg yes I did
Lisa: forget it...I’m not going there
Kevin: going where???
Lisa: Dick used to say that all the time...and it would piss me off something fierce
Lisa: it's stupid to say (Why is it stupid to say?)
Kevin: no it's not.....think about it....what do you really NEED?
Kevin: food, water, air
Kevin: that's it
Kevin: everything else is just personal preference
Lisa: you really don't need those things either (ummm if my biology is correct…yes you do)...think about that...you're just going to die...everyone might as well just kill themselves and get it over with (wow perfect logic….you first, we’re right behind ya)
Kevin: well that's pretty grim
Lisa: well so was your statement (no it wasn’t, he spoke the truth)
Kevin: ummm no.....the only things you need to survive are food water and air....how can you disagree with that?
Lisa: I just think your statement was stupid (but he was right!!!)...I'm sorry you take things so f**kin literal (How else can you take that?)...maybe I should say...what do you WANT a rifle for?
Kevin: jeez no need to go off the handle.....sorry if I hit a nerve
Lisa: I’m sorry I just hate it when people say stupid ???? like that
Kevin: well it bothers me when people ask me why I need a rifle......just cause they don't see the point in it they assume no one else does
Lisa: well then ????in answer the question...I didn't ASSUME anything...I innocently asked. What do you need a rifle for? (Yeah….real innocent) you have no idea what my opinion about guns is. (I think I can take a guess….using what….LOGIC)
Kevin: ok.....
Kevin: 1. for target shooting
Kevin: 2. for self-defense
Kevin: 3. I collect them
Kevin: 4. I find them interesting
Kevin: how's that?
Lisa: wonderful
Kevin: and I didn't mean YOU assumed that I was talking about people in general
Lisa: well you were talking to me. Not people in general
Kevin: Kevin: well it bothers me when "people" ask
Kevin: not you
Lisa: well obviously it bothered you that I asked or I wouldn't have gotten the answer I got
Kevin: I’m sorry I’m just a bit edgy with that....you have no idea how many arguments I’ve gotten in because people don't know what they're talking about and think they do
Kevin: so I apologize
Lisa: I accept...but I guess you should know...I don't like guns...and I was very happy that we didn't go to that beef and beer thing last weekend. Seems it was at a gun club
Kevin: yes I told you that
Lisa: Hmm...I don't remember you telling me that...Billy got home and was telling me about some game they were playing shooting stuff...and I was sooooo glad I didn't go. I would have wanted to leave as soon as we got there.
Kevin: ok.....why don't you like guns?
Lisa: ok...I have no idea what the laws are...or the rules...or the technical ????...but... (Well that’s apparent)
Kevin: well I just want to know why YOU don't like guns
Lisa: don't get a f**kin attitude kev...chill (How can she tell attitude over a computer?)
Kevin: I’m not
Lisa: riiiiiiiight
Lisa: but anyway
Kevin: look I’m just trying to have a discussion
Lisa: they are dangerous...and there is no reason to play games with guns and risk an injury to anyone.
Kevin: no attitude involved
Lisa: plain and simple
Kevin: why are they dangerous?
Lisa: hmmm
Kevin: did you know 10 times more people are killed in car accidents than by guns?
Lisa: ever see the result of a gun shot wound?
Kevin: sure have
Lisa: haha that's the stupid statistic I ever heard... (Must not have heard many statistics)
Lisa: think about that one kev
Kevin: why?
Lisa: how many people have cars compared with how many people have guns?
Kevin: there are over 60 million gun owners in the U.S alone
Kevin: and over 200 million guns in the U.S
Lisa: and your point is? (Didn’t he just answer your question?)
Kevin: Children Accidental Death Rates (Ages 0-14)
Cause Number
Motor-vehicle 2,900
Drowning 965
Fires, burns 676
Mechanical suffocation 474
Ingestion of food, object 185
Firearms 142
Lisa: look at that age range...0-14...they shouldn't have access to a gun (what difference does that make?)
Lisa: and I told you...I don't care about the stats, rules or laws (you’re right stats, rules, or laws never helped solve anything)...they are dangerous bottom line
Kevin: should they have access to a pool to drown in?
Kevin: so is everything else.....so that argument doesn't hold water
Lisa: I refuse to argue with you (who’s the one cursing the other out?)...some guns are necessary. Army, police....and such...most guns are not...
Kevin: so then why are cars that go over 75 mph necessary?
Lisa: I said I refuse to argue with you (well then stop…you’re the only one arguing)
Kevin: I’m not arguing
Kevin: I’m presenting you with the facts
Lisa: facts? Ha (what do YOU consider a fact??)
Kevin: so you think I’m lying?
Lisa: no I think your facts aren't comparable (look below for comment)
Kevin: comparable to what?
Lisa: swimming pools and guns? C’mon on now
Kevin: more kids died in swimming pools than guns.....so by your argument swimming pools are dangerous and should be banned......right?
Lisa: would you let you kids go swimming?
Kevin: only with adult supervision
Lisa: would you let them play with a loaded gun?
Kevin: "play" no.....would I let them shoot at a range...yes
Lisa: see...different
Kevin: yes definitely
Kevin: I’m not saying kids should play with guns....any parent who has little kids and doesn't lock up their guns is irresponsible
Lisa: well by your "facts" they shouldn't have pools either (By his facts and YOUR argument kids shouldn’t have pools)
Lisa: and pools are also required to be locked up
Kevin: not without adult supervision
Kevin: they shouldn't
Lisa: I would tell my kid to go swimming
Lisa: I would never tell my kid to play with a gun
Lisa: it's just unnecessary (yet swimming is of course necessary)
Kevin: well now you're being incomparable
Lisa: no I’m not
Lisa: I agree there should be a right to bear arms (really?? Coulda fooled us)
Kevin: I never said kids should "play" with guns
Lisa: but the law should be updated (which of the 20,000 and why?)
Lisa: well I say no one should play with guns
Kevin: kids shouldn't touch a gun unless a responsible adult is present
Lisa: it’s unnecessary (Then what is?)
Lisa: kids shouldn't touch a gun period
Kevin: it's been proven that if you teach a kid how to use a gun and explain to them not to touch them they have a much lower danger
Kevin: it's like anything else if you make it mysterious and forbidden they want to see it more
Lisa: I don't give a ???? about that....get off the kids thing...I don't care how old you are...it shouldn't be for play (whoever said anything about kids playing with guns???)
Kevin: well no kidding
Kevin: when did I say otherwise???
Lisa: you collect them....
Kevin: yes.....so?
Lisa: that's like play...I friggin collect precious moments (Since when does collect mean play?)
Kevin: do you sit there and play with them?
Kevin: or do you keep them on the wall or in a case?
Lisa: sometimes I love to look at them. They are beautiful (We can only assume that when she made collect equal play she also changed look to play as well)
Kevin: well then it's the same thing
Lisa: I don't have to lock them up
Lisa: definitely not the same thing
Kevin: ok you're confusing me.....what is your argument?
Kevin: the main fact is that there are more innocent lives saved and protected by guns than those that are taken or hurt.
Lisa: guns should not be incorporated with fun (Don’t different people enjoy different things?)....only should be used by police and army...and I guess hunters but they should be required to keep them locked up at the hunting place...no games...no collecting...nothing unnecessary. (Huh??...It hurts sometimes….it really does)
Lisa: I doubt that.
Kevin: I’ve been reading on firearms law since I was 14...trust me I know
Lisa: I TOLD YOU I'M NOT INTERESTED IN LAWS (Why not??)
Kevin: so what you're saying is that you believe what you believe and no amount of scientific studies, facts, and statistics will ever change that?
Lisa: they are dangerous Kev...bottom line....and you can't tell me they aren't...and I don't care what else is or isn't dangerous...they are dangerous and they do take innocent lives...I know they help protect...and I agree that Police and military should use them and carry them....but as for just having them cause you like them is unnecessary...just playing games with them is unnecessary. And no...No facts or stats will change my opinion. I will put my kid in a car seat in my car, and take them swimming, and
Lisa: let them do plenty of things...they will never shoot a gun. (Along with being ridiculous….she’s not open to facts….rather dumb)
Kevin: how can you justify that.....you're saying that you know what's true just because you know, when people have been looking at the facts for years and know exactly what guns do and don't?
Lisa: You saying guns don't kill people? (When did he ever say that?)
Lisa: that's all I need to know.
Kevin: no....I’m saying guns kill a lot more bad guys than good guys to put it in layman’s terms
Kevin: and that guns in civilian hands are a major cause for a decrease in crime
Lisa: its unfortunate that the idiots in Philly and in schools, and God only knows where else have to kill people and ruin it for you...but I don't like it...and I don't care about the friggin laws so stop telling me. (Once again…..why not?)
Lisa: you aren't going to change my mind and I’m rather tired of talking about it.
Kevin: see and that's exactly why I’m edgy.....because people have a closed mind
Lisa: I don't have a closed mind (Clearly you do!!!)...I say cops and military should use them.
Lisa: I don't care what profession my husband has...I will NOT have a gun in my house. (What if he’s a cop or a military officer???)
Kevin: sure you do....you refuse to admit that civilians can have a positive impact with guns
Lisa: what exactly is the positive impact?
Kevin: Survey research during the early 1990s by criminologist Gary Kleck showed at least 2.5 million protective uses of firearms each year in the U.S. "(T)he best available evidence indicates that guns were used about three to five times as often for defensive purposes as for criminal purposes" (Kleck, Targeting Guns, 1997).
Lisa: Jesus Christ
Kevin: Most protective uses do not involve discharge of a firearm. In only about 0.1% of protective gun uses are criminals killed and in only 1% are criminals wounded. A Dept. of Justice survey found that 40% of felons chose not to commit at least some crimes for fear their victims were armed, and 34% admitted being scared off or shot at by armed victims. (James D. Wright, Peter H. Rossi, Armed and Considered Dangerous, 1986)
Lisa: what do I have to do to tell you I don't want stats and laws??????????????????? (Did he not just answer your question?)
Kevin: why? because they prove what you don't want to believe?
Lisa: by telling me that sh*t...just makes me believe that you are a follower and a not a believer is all. (If you believe in something wouldn’t you follow it??)
Kevin: because I do research???????
Kevin: and can find reasons to back up what I believe????
Kevin: if you were talking about surgery and said to a doctor "I’m going to do the surgery this way and I don't want to see any statistics otherwise" even if they show a better way wouldn't that be ridiculous?
Lisa: Kev...stop (Why cause you can’t handle the truth?)
Kevin: we can't have an intelligent discussion?
Lisa: this isn't intelligent
Kevin: LMAO why not?
Lisa: because you are friggin throwing stats at me (Of course she’s right intelligence and statistics don’t mix)...I don't have discussions like that (Yeah cause that would be too logical)
Kevin: so you're saying stats are useless?
Kevin: and we shouldn't use them
Lisa: you just like to argue...and I'm tired of it now. I don't like them.
Lisa: oh ???? kev
Lisa: ????in stop it
Lisa: I love stats
Lisa: they are important (Then why don’t you want to hear about them??)
Kevin: just not when they are against your argument basically?
Lisa: I wanted to be a statistician at one point
Lisa: f**k you kev
Lisa: screw it (Why cause you’re wrong?)
Kevin: well that's what you're saying
Lisa: bye
Kevin: I’m not getting mad...you are
Lisa: BYE
Lisa: you don’t discuss kev
Lisa: you argue
Lisa: and I can't take it
Talk about :banghead:
- type moment.
