For those who ever debated with an Anti you might enjoy this

[Larryect]

PAX, excellant insight and I for one thank you.

I have been married 27 years and I can see truth in what you are saying.

I have heard in the past that one of the confilcts between men and women trying to communicate is: Women want to just discuss an issue and men jump off trying to FIX something. I think you have done an excellant job of explanation.

 

[Dbl0Kevin]

Yes you may be right that I wasn't really taking into consideration her "feelings" during the debate. Maybe it's just my logical side, but I really don't see where feelings come into play when it comes to whether something is good or bad. It doesn't matter what you FEEL....what matters are the facts.

That being said feelings are a two way street and I sure didn't see her trying to take MY feelings into consideration one bit. All I was doing was telling her that I was trying to fix my paintball gun and she had to launch into a tirade of how she never saw the point of them and then out of nowhere has to bring up "what do you need a rifle for either??" When I hear those questions I already know what is going to follow from exerience, and it does not have an effect of me trying to understand the other person's feelings very well.

 

[Werewolf]

Over the years at a number of different companies I've worked for management has been required to take sensitivity training.

The one common thread in each of the seminars I attended (4 out 5 of which were taught by a professional psychologist or psychiatrist) was that in general (there are exceptions to every rule) men are more concerned with achieving a goal than how it is achieved and women are more concerned with how the goal is achieved than actually achieving it.

As one instructory put it for women the journey is what is important - for men it's arriving at the destination.

The whole issue of feelings was tightly intertwined with the above conclusions. As politically incorrect as it is to say it all 5 seminars boiled down to the same thing. If one wants to influence a woman one focuses on the journey/feelings. If one wants to influence a man one focuses on the destination/logic.

 

[jdkelly]

Pax,

You elaborated on my short statement very well, and I agree with most everything thing said, I just didn't want to take the time to state it in more depth.

I had added, then deleted, an explanation of how I think the differences in how the male and female process information based on how they were conditioned by society, but felt that it would open more debate then solve.

While I learned along time ago that feelings are important in relationships, I differentiate between the "cold hard facts of reality" and how we feel about those facts. But I agree that how we feel about the facts can and does alter our ability to view them with bias.

I guess the difference in our views, yours and mine, are base on what each of us mean by reality. I think you mean the reality of the relationship, and the discourse between, Lisa and Kevin, while I mean the reality of the emotionless data.

Other then that I think we are simpatico.

Respectfully,

jdkelly

 

[OF]

She wanted him to show some respect for her feelings

Guys, understanding this will make your life easier.

That's all I'm saying.

Like the French say, "I surrender!", no wait thats not it..."Viva la Difference!"

- Gabe

 

[srschick]

about the 10th line is where is munble something like "moron", shake my head, and walk away.

 

[thumbtack]

This is a good example of why I want to remove the 19th amendment.


















JK dontflameme

 

[Moparmike]

I remember how I got the 18th confused with the 19th and said how they were right to have the 19th repealed, I would have too. EVERY girl in the classroom glared at me, until I said "that is the alcohol one, right?"

 

[WhiteKnight]

Excellent post pax.