This one was inspired by someone on this forum.
Mom: What do you need that for? (Sar-1)
Me: MNZB's Mom.
Mom: What?
Me: Mutant Ninja Zombie Bears.
and another, traffic stop because I was coming home from the range a little fast. cop sees the .45 in its holster in the back seat.
Officer: Why do you have a gun in the car son?
Me: That's where it lives, Sir.
Officer: Is it loaded?
Me: Of course it is, an unloaded gun is a paperweight.
Officer: (chuckle) Okay, you mind if I hold onto it for a few minutes?
And the last one, while teaching a female to shoot. (Won't make that mistake again. Had to break up with this one over the incident.)
"Keep it pointed down range!!...."
(bullet goes through my car door.)
"OMG you just shot my car!"