SheB61
. . . relationship with a woman that undoubtedly has mental issues . . .
The woman is a sociopath. This is well out past what I would normally term "mental issues" in a medical context. She's a criminal.
The trick, gentlemen, is to learn to recognize the signs of the criminal/sociopath.
The signs are there. If you're a horse trainer or a dog trainer, there are things you look for in any animal whose training you undertake. This doesn't mean you love the horse/dog any less, but you still check.
In my experience, most men are in such need of admiration (love, if you prefer), that once they start hearing/seeing the vibe, they quit checking.
Ironically, they will watch for the signs in women
dating their friends, but not in the ones they're dating themselves.
The signs are there.
You don't get them for free; you have to look. Sorry if that seems unromantic. Men pay a heavy price for that failure. Women pay a similar (and sometimes harsher) price for similar failures.
Quite aside from being competent at assessing what kind of person you're dating, there is the little matter of "the system" and how it's biased. Sadly, it's badly biased. Very badly biased. Biased to the point where you pretty much have to write your own contract to offset the system's tilt. Even when both people honestly go into the relationship with all the best intentions, when it goes sour there will be overt influences from friends, relatives, and one's attorney to "take what's yours" and "get as much as you can" from the breakup. The only way to buffer that is to write your own contract.
"Well, doesn't the contract mean you don't really love him/her?"
Not at all. It means that love, done rationally, can protect both parties from the tilt and vagaries of the system.
From HER point of view: what if hubby unexpectedly becomes rich and can afford the bestest attorney out there and can wrest custody of kids and property even though he's become this heartless bastard?
From HIS point of view: what if wifey's mother or sister brainwashes her into a premeditated torpedo attack on the marriage, using the system bias to abscond with all the valuables and kids?
What a couple
mutually understands about the relationship is what becomes the contract.
Not having the contract is like dying without a will: in its absence "the rules" take over, and the rules are really badly written, solving problems that don't exist and making assumptions that aren't true.
Choose your companionship wisely.
Document the understandings.
Deny the lawyers any part of the action; keep the tilted system from ruining the lives of either party.
By the way: psychology is actually pretty useless/hopeless in assessing the person you're dating. It's full of contradictions and broken assumptions. This is a non-trivial subject in its own right, and won't be addressed here.
My two hundredths of a dollar.