I couldn't get enough firepower, and no matter what I bought I still couldn't sleep. I'd sit in the living room surrounded by pretty heavy weaponry, the alarms set and the dogs loose out roaming my 12 acre plot of ground watching all seven seasons of "The West Wing" over and over, wishing it could be true. It wasn't enough no matter how much PTSD therapy I went to at the vet center. Even their Thorazine didn't help me sleep.
Four packs of Marlboros every night got kinda' expensive so I decided to start digging a bunker to sleep in. I have a good backhoe tractor so every day I'd make progress, until the sides of my hole started caving back in all the time at about 20 feet down. That meant shoring and when each side got deep enough the shoring could be filled with cement. So that's what I did - forty feet down, and now under my house, I decided to close it all in. I built framed pour molds eight feet thick and called the cement folks. They were only too happy to help and seemed to understand my problem with sleeping. I felt like I wasn't the only one in the area who had done a project like this.
Then water and plumbing, electricity and air pumps, and it's all such a long story but as it is now I'm forty feet below my house while my wife is making dinner in the kitchen. She'll call me when it's ready.
I keep adding to this, making it better. I now have a driveway into it and park my truck inside. There's a steel door, sorta', that's fourteen feet thick and able to withstand a 20 megaton blast, according to the vault guy who sold it to me. It's an amazing thing, really, you can swing it with one finger but don't get that digit caught in the door, boy howdy!
So now I'm getting about three hours a night. I sleep pretty good until I have to piss again. Somehow I got old building this underground fort of mine.
We'll know from alarms if they're here but they'll never be able to get us down here. We'll be able to sit here and laugh at them. I've even got a mike and system set up so I can talk to the AH's who come to rob and kill me, but I wish they'd come soon.
I've spent my entire life's fortune to be safe but you know, no one has ever even come to the door to peddle religion.