My parents are anti-gun...what do I do?

[natural marksman]

I want to take up shooting, and my parents respect that and support me. The problem is that they're very anti-gun.

It's an Aussie thing in general to be a little anti-gun, but they are very narrow-minded and I can't convince them that keeping a guns in the house is NOT DANGEROUS. They just won't hear it, I can't negotiate or reason with them.

Does anyone have any helpful advice?

Andrew

 

[Solo]

If it's your house and not theirs, and if you do not depend on them for anything, there shouldn't be too much of a problem.

 

[lanternlad1]

Agree to disagree, and drop the matter - both sides.

Go live your life and let them live theirs.

 

[chriso]

solo is right... Then again if it is their house you must respect their rules... I would just keep trying to talk to them throw some statistics at them tell them it will be in a safe all that good stuff.

 

[paintballdude902]

i have a feeling this is a kid some one living in their parents house

you just have to understand that they wont like it

try to make a compromise and ask if you can get one and keep it at the house as long as it stays in their room with a lock until you move out

 

[Solo]

Statistics don't always change strongly held feelings. People are surprisingly willing to hold beliefs that fly in the face of all rational analysis. (Scientology, for example...)

You may want to offer acclimatizing them to firearms. No idea how to do so, but it's an approach.

Perhaps you can offer to take them shooting? With air rifles, perhaps, if they aren't comfortable around the real thing?

 

[FatGeek]

Not sure if its as easy down there to split a rented house or apartment as it is here, but finding responsible roommates and splitting rent is your quickest ticket to getting out on your own, which is the only solution when dealing with anti-gun parents.

 

[SMMAssociates]

natural:

The "people who own guns get killed more often" (or commit suicide more often) line is pure nonsense. Good luck in getting your folks to believe it, though. Somebody here ought to be able to provide a reference, though.

If it is their house, though, you really do have to stick with their rules. Since you're in Australia, I assume you're talking long guns, and most people will accept a target rifle without too much complaining. (When I was six or so, riding the school bus for the first time, it wasn't at all unusual for the High School kids on the Rifle Team to have their rifles with them on the bus, or their HUNTING rifles during deer season.)

My dad was in a CCC Camp prior to WWII, and in the Army for the whole war, and back in again for a while during the Korean War. He was a machine gunner at camp, and probably checked out on anything a single GI could carry, but as a Medic, developed a dislike for guns. His response to my wanting a gun was "bring home a badge too." I've been some kind of rent-a-cop for 40+ years. He didn't mind that at all, although after I moved out he showed up at my apartment and wondered why I had a revolver on my belt.... Dad almost bought a shotgun during the riots of the late 60's, too, but never quite got around to it. (Or maybe he wanted me to pay for it? )

Dad passed away about 9 years ago. Mom's still not exactly certain what to say, but other than trying to talk me out of going to the range when the weather's a little iffy, doesn't say too much. She believes all that "somebody will take it from you" stuff....

Regards,

 

[Kind of Blued]

Ask one of them to take you target shooting, or come target shooting with you.

Once they understand how the gun works, they might understand how to make it NOT work and be ok with it being stored in that condition.

Can you buy a cheap Residential Security Container like a Stack-On?

 

[natural marksman]

Thanks for the advice everyone. With the statistics in the face idea...won't work. They're both the kind of people who stick to their beliefs.

My stepdad's stepdad made him (my stepdad) shoot a .44 Magnum when he was just 12. He never touched a gun ever again.

Mum can't watch a bloody movie without covering her eyes, and hates the realistic violent video games I play, thinking that I'll do similar things in real life or something. She has a strong hatred for guns as well.

Needless to say, my parents would be bored stiff if they came to watch me shoot. In fact, my stepdad came with me once, and - although he watched me shoot - he was more interested in the samurai swords on display. That didn't hurt, 'cos I knew he'd be bored and I told him he didn't have to come...he has some knowledge of guns, but he's not interested, and neither is mum.

Yes, I live in their house and I respect that they don't like guns, but they are not willing to meet me half way and come to a reasonable compromise, such as not keeping ammo, having it locked up and bolted etc...And whenever I run by them the idea of me moving out, they always convince me and make excuses as to why I should stay. Highly hypocritical, considering they threaten to throw me out when I annoy them enough (I don't mean to ).

I was talking to my mum about the whole "guns in the house" subject, saying:

"what if I keep the gun in a fire-proof safe bolted to the floor under my bed - like the law requires here - and instead of keeping ammo as well, I just buy ammo at the range, and use it all before I go"

The answer? Still no. I feel my stepdad will not be convinced so easily either. They always put their feet down and quickly change the subject...

Has anyone ever heard of being able to hire a locker at a gun range? I'm not completely sure, but I think my local range had lockers for hire to store guns in. I shoot handguns, and might not move onto long guns until I've got my first handguns - and that looks to be like a very long time with my parents and all, besides the fact that it can take up to 9 months for the processes of licensing and gun registration before I can legally own a gun in this country.

Thanks for the input guys. Would like to hear more of peoples ideas.

Andrew

 

[Aran]

Ignore their excuses to stay, move out, start your own life. Voila.

 

[SMMAssociates]

Andrew:

Shh.... A lot of places where registration and confiscation have gone as far as Australia, ONLY permit you to keep your guns at officially sanctioned ranges and gun clubs. (The "next step" is probably to decertify those places.... )

OTOH, you may indeed find such arrangements available. That may be the only way to go. Or move out....

You still haven't said how old you are - I was about 25, but had two jobs and decent income. (I didn't need the rent-a-cop job, but my primary job didn't pay all that well, and the "gas money plus a few bucks" that the Guard Service paid me was real handy.)

My wife was 22 when we got married - that's plenty old enough if you've got a husband .

(Our daughter is almost 23, single, and has lived - while going to two different colleges - elsewhere for four years. She's already worn out a car, too. We see each other regularly, and talk, or e-mail, even more often, but she's 175 miles away, so nobody's a nuisance. That really improved her relationship with her mom. My dad, btw, tossed me out. Other than the aforementioned revolver incident, that improved our relationship, too, although his heart attack a year or two later, plus a lot of valium, helped even more. I'm a bit of a control freak, but he was Industrial Strength. In our daughter's case, she's way out ahead of her mom, but while I had my dad by a few IQ points, the disparity was too small to really count. Lots of friction....)

"Control Freak": A buddy of mine was coming into town to visit a few years ago, and I gave him turn-by-turn detailed instructions. The house is about as easy to find as "go to the square, hang a left, and we're the sixth driveway on your right", but.... Anyway, he told me that he was going to use his GPS and I was too much of a control freak. About twenty miles out, right where the Interstate Highway system locally gets really confused, his GPS - connected to a notebook PC - barfed....

The problem, of course, in moving out, is convenience and economics. It's always easier when mom's cleaning your clothes and your floors .... Some of that stuff is a real time sink. And, my first apartment cost me about half of what I was making at the time. Probably overkill, but I liked the place, and it was about the nicest apartment complex in the Township. (I could have saved $50/month elsewhere, but.... Should have bought a house.)

(I didn't plan on staying in town, but the poorly paying day job improved, and the Guard Service started paying a little better. Inertia....)

Regards,

 

[Aran]

He's 19

 

[natural marksman]

Again, thanks for your input guys.

The problem, of course, in moving out, is convenience and economics.

Yes, that's a major concern of mine. I'm 19, I only just got a decent job the other day, and next year I'll be going to college, getting my shooting license, learning ninjutsu and definately finding my first ever girlfriend. I don't know if I could cope with moving out, but my parents are a bit of a pain.
A friend of my stepdad's was talking to me, asked "how do you live with him?". I wonder the same thing

It's always easier when mom's cleaning your clothes and your floors

My mum does jack for me. I'm expected to clean up my own room, feed myself, wash my own clothes, drive myself around (while paying for fuel used, as I have no car) and pay board for living in their house. I have no problem with that, except that I can't cook to save my life

They expect me to grow up - and I will - but they're forcing me to do it faster than I will. Maybe if I move out, I'll earn my independence and become a grown-up, and they'll stop bugging me.

If they won't be reasonable about this whole gun thing, and confuse me with threats to kick me out while convincing me to stay when I try, then I'll just go.

Thanks again guys

Andrew

 

[moooose102]

do you have another family member who does like firearms? maybe you could keep it at their home, and access it when you want it. or, maybe (if you have one) agree to have it out in the garage or locked shed. as long as no one else knows it is there, it should not be a theft problem. as a last resort, you may be able to work out a deal with the store owner that you buy your shooting supplies from. $20.00 a month to store your gun and let you have access during business hours. something like that.

 

[Deanimator]

Get a job and move out. Then you can do whatever you want.

I recently got my Ohio Concealed Handgun License (CHL). When I told my mother in Apartheid Chicago, she told me that she didn't want me to carry a firearm for my own self-defense. My answer? "No."

Note the liberating effect of having a job, living on my own and being able to support myself.

 

[natural marksman]

do you have another family member who does like firearms? maybe you could keep it at their home, and access it when you want it.

That's a good idea. I don't yet own any guns, but I was hoping to get some handguns one day. My uncle has a few rifles and shotguns. But there are a few reasons why this idea might not work for me:

1 - He lives in the centre of the city, while I live in the western-most part of the city. It takes a while to get there.

2 - He's a reckless kind of guy. He's not very responsible with firearms. He can be very silly with them, but this is all based on what my mum has told me, which could be a biased opinion because of her hate for guns so I now don't know what to think about that.

Get a job and move out. Then you can do whatever you want.

I like this idea more and more, every time I hear it. Between the last post and this one, I had text-messaged a few of my friends, and asked if they know anyone who wants to move out and would like to have a room mate to share rent with.

I'll be out soon, hopefully

Andrew

 

[Kind of Blued]

Are you going to university? Planning on it?

Maybe this applies to you. I wish someone had hit me over the head with it when I was your age. Consider these two options:

Working menial jobs for 10 years to get through school and get a decent job, at which point you might spend the next 10 years paying off student loans. Tack on however many years it takes you to realize that higher education is worth it.

Or staying with the parents for a few years to finish school and get a real job.

Depends on what you consider "freedom"... doesn't it?

Best of luck to you.

 

[gunNoob]

Best of luck.

My parents were the same way and told me no guns in the house and all. I purchased 2 rifles at age 18 and when they found out, they were upset but got over it quickly when I put them in a case with 3 locks on it. Then I moved out at now own more. They don't like that I own them but it's not as big of an issue as it was.

 

[Jamyatunes]

Andrew,

I agree with several people here that you should take them shooting. My father used to be very anti-gun. I got a Glock when I graduated college and took him and my mother to the range with me.

I showed them how to field strip, disassemble, reassemble, load, unload, and shoot the firearm. I also showed and explained the function of all the safety features.

Once they understood that the gun would not just go off by itself they were comfortable with it. When I come home to visit I usually bring half a dozen guns (they live right down the road from a range) and I show them where they will be kept and where they can find the loaded magazines. They actually feel a lot safer when I'm home, and since my brother moved out (he got a pistol a year or so after I did) my father has actually asked for my advice on what kind of firearm he should get now that there aren't any firearms in the house anymore.

 

[withdrawn34]

Remember that most likely, there will be little change no matter how logically you argue. It is possible to turn your stepdad (maybe, it could also be that he is just stubborn like most fathers), but I'd say its very unlikely about your mum. It's definitely an international issue in that regards.

When it comes to stuff like this, mothers don't care about your logic or whatnot. To them, they don't want their babies doing "dangerous" things or getting hurt. So they will reject all rational thought and logic and will not be convinced by your arguments as on this topic, they will revert to the mindset a mother has when arguing with a 5 year old as to why he isn't allowed to have another candy bar.

I'm in the same boat as you for the most part, except I haven't even brought the topic up as it just "isn't" an issue in my house. It just isn't discussed because I guess it is outside their realm of expectations for this household to even think of a gun. But anyway, we'll see how it works out in the future.

Good luck man.

 

[HeavenlySword]

you have to move out dude.

your a free man. use your rights. get a job. get a friend if you dont want to move out.

 

[Treo]

Hate to say it Andrew ( because I know how bad I hated to hear it) but, their house, their rules. Everyone here was an adolescent at one time and every one here got that answer about something at least once in their life.

You might ask your parents what you could do that would help them to feel safe about having a gun in the house.

 

[leadcounsel]

If you're on your own, buy a .22 and take one of them (the most receptive) shooting. Something fun like pop cans.

Once you have one of them hooked, the other will be interested and will be easier.

 

[SMMAssociates]

Andrew:

Sounds like you're already "out of the house".... Other than buying a car....

It's natural to chafe a bit at parental restrictions at your age. It's probably a good idea to plan at this point, but don't do anything precipitously, and don't burn too many bridges. Kinda like my daughter four years ago: "Daddy, I'm moving in with your sister in Columbus. Please help me carry the TV to the car...." "WHAT!?"

(My little sister's best described as "whacko", but she's had four kids of her own - and is now up to four and nine-tenth's grandchildren. She was a great choice compared to "moving WHERE?")

Then, about a year later, Becka decided to move into an apartment with a girlfriend and two other girls. This I found out when I was asked to help pay the first couple months rent. Disaster, of sorts - she didn't have any closet space, and the other two girls had really poor attitudes about who's clothes were who's. She ended up with about everything she owned in the trunk of her car.... Excellent learning experience, though. Back to my sister's for another year, and then she's splitting a house with a friend ("Dad: Matt and I are moving 'here' in August. Can I have $500?") (Girls have it easy .)

(The boy is Gay. Nothing going on there....)

We've been lucky - Becka just kinda does what she wants to do, but she plans it out fairly well. My dad wasn't about to listen to much of anything. My wife is often clueless, but we do listen, and if I distract my wife with something shiny it usually works out.

I'd love to take my mom to the range - she's a bit of an anti, but her dad let her shoot his .22 rifle way back when (she's 93). Problem is that she can't get down the stairs into our range, and probably can't handle what passes for air down there. Might take her to the outdoor range some time, though. IAC, if you have the opportunity, it's a great idea. Even if you don't "convert" anybody, they may agree that "it's harmless fun on the range."

(Becka likes to shoot. My wife's been to the range a couple times, but just doesn't care for it. Someday I'll get her on my club range, though.)

Point is to not panic. It's hard to wait for anything at your age, but sometimes that's the only really workable alternative. Something that's relatively inexpensive (like a drive to the range and renting something to shoot for an hour or so) may have to be sufficient for right now.

Regards,