Andrew:
Rainbowbob's got the right idea, though....
My first rule (actually, my first four rules
) is "Don't burn any bridges".... Suffer in silence, if necessary, until you can get yourself in a place where you can move out and support yourself in someplace that won't turn out to resemble a trash pile.
(My daughter's first apartment, and bear in mind that she'd been out of the house for a year, living with my sister in another city and going to school, AND employed, was a disaster. Her roommates, except for one, couldn't be trusted to not borrow her clothes, food, etc., and the place was a mess. She spent about three days cleaning the place when she invited us to visit, and couldn't get rid of the HUGE beer kegs in the back yard. Fortunately, my wife didn't know what they were
.... As it turned out, she and three other girls were renting what amounted to half a duplex, and there were four to six boys renting the other half. They were responsible for the beer.... But all of her clothes spent the year, when not in use or in the wash, in her car's trunk. She learned.... Becka spent the next year back at my sister's place, and now splits a small house with her cat, and a guy with a dog & cat. The boy likes boys, so there's nothing going on there
. No other issues - he was already a friend of hers.)
In our case, Becka made a conscious decision to get out of town, and had everything else fairly well sewn up, at least as well as a 19-year-old could. (Guess who helped with the rent and her tuition....) About the only "issue" was "Daddy, I've decided to go to school in Columbus. Wanna help me carry the TV to my car?" A few questions later and I carried the TV....
The point of this, other than "
we lucked out" is that she left on friendly terms, had some idea of how she'd live, and where she'd live. Meantime, a "lifeline" of sort in my little sister (who's a grandmother - Becka babysits the grandkids that live in town there), and a solid relationship with us, 175 miles away....
It's true that "absence makes the heart grow fonder", or at least did in our case - I had few problems with her, but she and my wife were always at loggerheads over something or other. Not anymore.... (I had the same sort of situation with my dad when I moved out - got thrown out, actually - some 35 years ago. I don't think we ever really settled all of that - he was jealous of my income at that age - but there was some mutual respect, and it was mostly easy for me to live with it when we weren't bumping into each other constantly.)
As to being self-centered or immature, at 19, that's kind of normal.... You
may outgrow it
....
So, try to leave on friendly terms, and not before you have some sort of plan to survive....
PLAN, too, on disasters.... Even minor stuff can make you crazy the night before a major exam, for example. Finding your only clean shirt is in the back seat of your car and it's 20 degrees (Farenheit) outside can be a great surprise.... Finding that the car's frozen over and you can't get into it is even more fun.... Mostly, though, you'll find yourself short of money, late getting a payment in, etc. Make sure you've got stuff like that covered....
Mostly, in the final analysis, it's "live and learn".... That which doesn't kill us usually makes us stronger, but you really have to experience some of this to learn how to deal with it. If you've done your homework, you should be able to survive, but don't expect to not ask mom for a half-gallon of soup or something like that should you get sick, run out of lunch money, etc.
Regards,
