Dr Tad
I strongly recommend the R9. I carry my R9s Stealth in a "Hidden Holsters" front pocket holster. It really does disappear in all the pants I wear. Suit pants, khakis, and Levis all allow truly concealed carry. It is 5.2" long, 3.7" high, 12.8oz empty.
Here is mine, 'cause I like pictures:
The only issue I ever had was in 5.11 style pants with those giant front pockets. For me, the gun would rotate and point in a direction I didn't like. If I wore these pants more often, I would get a larger pocket holster.
I've carried everything from a 4" N frame to a Commander length 1911 to this R9. The R9 is the only one I will carry now. It is just an automatic motion of slipping it into the front pocket.
BUT the R9 is a unique thing. The earlier models wouldn't feed every brand of ammo. The ones made in the last few years (like mine) have a more polished feed ramp and are quite good from what I can tell. Mine feeds 147gr Gold-Dots all day long with no issues at all. I've also tried silver tips with no problems either. Service and warantee support is supposed to be superb, but I've never needed it. The recoil spring should be replaced every 300 rounds or so. It is a $2 part, so I don't worry about it too much. No +P ammo. Strip and re-assembly is a learned skill. It is an expensive gun, no doubt. But it is very well made and I love mine.
FWIW, I really like the finger extension on the mags. The R9 also has the heel-style mag release MCgunner was looking for.
No safety, other than the one between the ears. Heavy trigger, but smooth. Very predictable break. Get the R9s model with the sights. Not a target gun by any means, but the diminutive sights are meaningful.
Check out the Rohrbaugh website for more info. There you will see they now make a 380 model. But for me, the 380 is a product with limited market. I like 9mm. I feel good with 6+1 rounds of 9mm always in my pocket.
In the end, that is why the R9 is my carry gun. I carry it. Everywhere (legal) and always.
My $0.02.
'alp