The Real Hawkeye
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Osama Bin Laden was finally tracked down in a cave in Pakistan. He preferred a "martyrs" death, so as the force approached him, he pulled a cord attempting to blow them all to kingdom come, but it didn't work. As he reached for the secondary cord on his explosive pack, he was shot full of holes, and fell dead to the ground. Next thing he sees is a beautiful mansion in the backdrop of green hills and trees. The door to the mansion opens, and he sees a line of figures walking toward the exit from inside. "Here comes the reward I was promised," he thought to himself. But out from the mansion comes James Madison, who approaches him and knees him hard to the groin, causing him to crumble in nauseous agony. George Mason then approaches him and gives him a solid right cross in the jaw, causing him to fall to one knee. As George Washington approaches, Osama manages to stand up again only to be struck in the face with the butt of the former US President's rifle, causing him to reel back, and fall. As he attempts to right himself once more, Patrick Henry smacks him in the head solidly with the blunt side of his sward, knocking him to the ground again. Thomas Jefferson follows up with a whack to his head using his cane's solid brass head piece. This was followed by sixty-seven additional founding fathers who similarly abused him until he was a bloody pulp, each time reciting one of Osama's offenses to the United States. Afterwards, Osama sees our Divine Creator approaching and protests to him, "Allah! I have died for the cause or Islam. You promised me a great reward in heaven, and so far I have had nothing but horrible abuse, pain and humiliation." The voice of God then said, "Were you not greeted, just exactly as I had promised, by 72 Virginians?"
