Panhandler?
- Thread starter rrruuunnn
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I'll buy a guy food if he's hungry. Before it got to $4.00 a gallon, I might even buy gas if I could stand there and watch him pump it. I'm generally not handing cash over, though, because most of the time these folks really are hustlers.
Bushwhacker
Member
I was downtown the other night and saw a guy holding a sign up that said "Why Lie? It's for beer"
I laughed and gave the guy $5.00 bucks.
I laughed and gave the guy $5.00 bucks.
He did that and you continued your casual, polite conversation with him?
Well, I suppose it's a good thing that he didn't whip out a Jennings or a Lorcin next and rack the slide too.
Geez.....
A stranger looking for money within casual speaking range and opening a knife in front of me would not be taken lightly. My reaction to that action would probably be more than a little disconcerting to him.
As has been stated, you've gotten complacent.
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Then there's the young woman who has (I swear!) Lurch as her begging companion. The guy has got to be at least 6'5", scary as all get out, and he comes right up to your window and waggles his sign at you. I'm just waiting for him to punch somebody's window out when they refuse to roll it down, although for his sake, it better not be mine.
When my husband was in the clergy, we heard ***all****the possible permutations of hard luck stories. A lot of folks that go to churches to ask for help really are in need; but an awful lot of them were, um, well known to the clergy group in town.
I do two things in regard to this. I give regularly to the Star of Hope Mission in Houston, who are equipped to actually HELP these folks; and I don't give to the guys on the street.
As Coronach said, don't feed the pigeons. Better yet, don't BE a pigeon.
Springmom
When my husband was in the clergy, we heard ***all****the possible permutations of hard luck stories. A lot of folks that go to churches to ask for help really are in need; but an awful lot of them were, um, well known to the clergy group in town.
I do two things in regard to this. I give regularly to the Star of Hope Mission in Houston, who are equipped to actually HELP these folks; and I don't give to the guys on the street.
As Coronach said, don't feed the pigeons. Better yet, don't BE a pigeon.
Springmom
Ifishsum
Member
I don't trust a single one of them. If you really want to give, donate to your local homeless shelter - not to the street/freeway exit panhandlers. They are a nuisance and seem to be getting more aggressive around here lately. Just say no!
XLMiguel
Member
Santa Fe is a very liberal/progressive city with tons of charitable organizations, a $9.50/hr minimum wage, unemployment around 3%, and assistance for the genuinely needy is readily available.
But there's no shortage of panhandlers. They are clearly opportunists with no desire to actually 'work'. +1 on "Don't feed the pigeons".
But there's no shortage of panhandlers. They are clearly opportunists with no desire to actually 'work'. +1 on "Don't feed the pigeons".
Seriously, do not give the homeless money. I don't mean to sound cruel, but you are simply funding their drug/alcohol habit. If you want to help, volunteer at a shelter.
That is a shady approach- it sounds like he was doing this as a veiled threat to make people uncomfortable, hoping they would simply give him a few bucks to avoid a problem.
* I used to run into beggars and homeless down in Washington, D.C. and my sure method to repel them (when they came at me) was to begin speaking in German rapidly and give them a stern look as I would continue walking. It would usually confuse or freak them out, and they'd go away.
alemonkey
Member
I can only think of one time I gave a bum some money, and it's the last time. I was on a business trip with a bunch of coworkers, and we were in the middle of a 24 hr stint onsite at a client's business. I made a run to a liquor store to get a couple six packs for after we got done, since they would be closing before we got out of there. As I was walking out (in a suit and tie) the bum outside asked me for some money. I gave him $5, but he got angry because he wanted more. Apparently since I was well dressed he thought I could spare more. He started following me to my rental car yelling at me. I ran like a little girl to the car and locked it. Since then I don't even acknowledge their presence.
KelVarnson
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I live in an interesting place. The North end of the county, where I live, is mainly agricultural and pretty conservative. A small number of (apparently) genuinely needy people stand on streetcorners with signs, but almost never approach anyone.
But if you drive 20 miles South to the county seat, it is a very liberal college town. The panhandlers are aggressive and will occasionally challenge you if you tell them "no".
I always give them my standard reply: "I gave at the IRS". That usually confuses them long enough for me to walk away, while they stand there with a stupid look on their face.
The way I see it, yeah, I have money in my pocket, but I also have a mortgage of a couple hundred thousand dollars. So the bums actually have more money than I do. All of the money in my pocket is spoken for.
Besides, like I already implied, the government has seen fit to take a significant portion of my money and give it to other people. Until that process slows way down, or at least becomes more equitable, I will not give money to ANY charity.
But if you drive 20 miles South to the county seat, it is a very liberal college town. The panhandlers are aggressive and will occasionally challenge you if you tell them "no".
I always give them my standard reply: "I gave at the IRS". That usually confuses them long enough for me to walk away, while they stand there with a stupid look on their face.
The way I see it, yeah, I have money in my pocket, but I also have a mortgage of a couple hundred thousand dollars. So the bums actually have more money than I do. All of the money in my pocket is spoken for.
Besides, like I already implied, the government has seen fit to take a significant portion of my money and give it to other people. Until that process slows way down, or at least becomes more equitable, I will not give money to ANY charity.
The panhandler is not initiating this activity for your benefit. It is for his benefit alone. His mark is simply a means to an end.
Most panhandlers can be dealt with by simply walking tall and briskly and looking like you are the master of the situation. If you are alert you will usually be deselected.
Aggressive panhandlers are best dealt with by aggressive avoidance. A quick stutter step with the near hand interview position accompanied by a verbalization like "I can't help you!" or "I'm not from around here!" (practice your tape loops) and you'll sail right by them before they can come up with answer. The idea is to interrupt their routine.
Panhandlers are con men. They have a tried and true approach they have honed over months or years of practicing their craft. They are ahead of you on the loop. That is, if you are willing to assume their loop. By misdirecting them (denying them will do the same thing) from their routine puts them behind on your loop. You are now in control.
The OP had a knife pulled on him. It was a very sly move but the intent was clear. What is of concern is that he does not seem to realize that every time that you let a panhandler (or any stranger) get near it is a potentially life threatening situation. Avoid it.
Most panhandlers can be dealt with by simply walking tall and briskly and looking like you are the master of the situation. If you are alert you will usually be deselected.
Aggressive panhandlers are best dealt with by aggressive avoidance. A quick stutter step with the near hand interview position accompanied by a verbalization like "I can't help you!" or "I'm not from around here!" (practice your tape loops) and you'll sail right by them before they can come up with answer. The idea is to interrupt their routine.
Panhandlers are con men. They have a tried and true approach they have honed over months or years of practicing their craft. They are ahead of you on the loop. That is, if you are willing to assume their loop. By misdirecting them (denying them will do the same thing) from their routine puts them behind on your loop. You are now in control.
The OP had a knife pulled on him. It was a very sly move but the intent was clear. What is of concern is that he does not seem to realize that every time that you let a panhandler (or any stranger) get near it is a potentially life threatening situation. Avoid it.
yesit'sloaded
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I give out dollar hamburgers from Wendy's sometimes if there is one close by. Most of them take the food and mumble "thanks".
Packman
Member
I learned long ago, the people who really need help aren't on the side of the road asking for it. I spend a great deal of time/money/energy helping a man who runs a dog rescue facility. Put simply, those dogs eat better than he and his family does. They live on company land in a hovel not fit for the dogs, While the dogs live in an air conditioned area, and his wife is a near slave to her boss (land owner). Everything he has goes to his dogs. I should also point out, this isn't a handout. He probably saved my dog's life, and In return I do what I can for him.
I will never give money to anyone asking for it on the side of the road. The ones asking don't really need it, the ones who need it aren't asking.
I will never give money to anyone asking for it on the side of the road. The ones asking don't really need it, the ones who need it aren't asking.
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VARifleman
Member
Common responses from me or my coworkers consists of "I work for my money" or "All I can spare is a job application". Do not ask blue collar guys for money, especially when you're able bodied and in brand new timberland boots and a brand new carhartt jacket....
First off, I wouldn't have let him get close enough to show me a flashlight or draw a knife. Yes, I have ordered approaching people to back off, sometimes with weak hand extended and stronghand on my hip. They get the message if you are forceful enough.
Secondly, anyone who is really that down on their luck can stand outside the front of a hardware store like the hispanic day laborers and get jobs doing physical labor. I'm sure that many people would choose someone fluent in English, probably just form the shock.
Secondly, anyone who is really that down on their luck can stand outside the front of a hardware store like the hispanic day laborers and get jobs doing physical labor. I'm sure that many people would choose someone fluent in English, probably just form the shock.
soccergod04
Member
Ummmm, yeahhhhh, he opened a knife in front of you? Definitely sounds like a scare tactic, and had it been me he was presenting the blade to, he probably would've ended up being the scared one. Not something to take lightly...
Oh yeah, don't feed the pigeons.
Oh yeah, don't feed the pigeons.
meef,
i was uncomfortable when he showed me his knife. when he showed his cheap light, i felt like this was probably a scam. when he opened his knife i was waiting for him to use it. i kept him in sight. and expected a fight. my main mistake is not distancing myself. i was worried about offending him, which means that my mental strategy is off.
i was uncomfortable when he showed me his knife. when he showed his cheap light, i felt like this was probably a scam. when he opened his knife i was waiting for him to use it. i kept him in sight. and expected a fight. my main mistake is not distancing myself. i was worried about offending him, which means that my mental strategy is off.
to be honest,
i was still in striking distance very close to arms length away. i used my peripheral when i should have kept my eye on him. that was a mistake.
my parents wouldn't be happy if they found me dead in a parking lot. there was an stabbing about 3 years ago. some kids robbed several whataburgers and dropped by a gas station. one walked up behind the convenience store worker and slashed his throat. he died.
after me, he immediately pursued another possible victim. i should have stayed to see how he handled that guy.
now, i think that he was trying to intimidate me. he looked angry after i said no. i should have been angry. he looked atheletic but in his 40's. i think i recognize he from somewhere.
should i have written his plate number down. called 911? is this considered a type of brandishing? maybe, he had drugs in the car? hindsight is 2020.
i was still in striking distance very close to arms length away. i used my peripheral when i should have kept my eye on him. that was a mistake.
my parents wouldn't be happy if they found me dead in a parking lot. there was an stabbing about 3 years ago. some kids robbed several whataburgers and dropped by a gas station. one walked up behind the convenience store worker and slashed his throat. he died.
after me, he immediately pursued another possible victim. i should have stayed to see how he handled that guy.
now, i think that he was trying to intimidate me. he looked angry after i said no. i should have been angry. he looked atheletic but in his 40's. i think i recognize he from somewhere.
should i have written his plate number down. called 911? is this considered a type of brandishing? maybe, he had drugs in the car? hindsight is 2020.
wheelgunslinger
Member
In Asheville NC, where I used to live, the downtown was filled with panhandlers.
One day I responded that I was the "absolute poorest person you've seen all day." and that I "wish I had a dollar to give" to them.
The female I told this to pulled a WAD of bills from her pocket and offered me some money.
A new tactic I've seen is the "Okay, I'm not going to lie to you. I just want some money to get a beer. Can you spare a buck?" routine.
I just don't give them money. period.
I don't help people with gas money. I don't buy people food.
Sorry, but I have a household to support. And, they ain't part of it.
One day I responded that I was the "absolute poorest person you've seen all day." and that I "wish I had a dollar to give" to them.
The female I told this to pulled a WAD of bills from her pocket and offered me some money.
A new tactic I've seen is the "Okay, I'm not going to lie to you. I just want some money to get a beer. Can you spare a buck?" routine.
I just don't give them money. period.
I don't help people with gas money. I don't buy people food.
Sorry, but I have a household to support. And, they ain't part of it.
rainbowbob
Member
That's not even a subtle threat - that is brandishing a deadly weapon. The OP admits he was within arm's length. They say a man with a knife can insert it in your rib-cage within 1.5 seconds from 21 feet away. Back away quickly with a hand on your own weapon. Don't worry about "offending" him. Worry about staying alive.
As others here have said: You give to the IRS...you can give to your church..the food bank...the local shelter...the home for battered women...etc.
The gas scam is as old as the hills. Sometimes people really do run out of gas. There is AAA, and there is the State Patrol. Other than that - you shouldn't get on the road if you don't have enough gas and/or money to get where you're going.
You can't take home every stray kitten - and you can't help everybody with a sad story. Just the way it is.
Tribal
Member
The thing about being a Good Samaritan is that context is important. The road from Jerusalem to Jericho was plagued with bandits, and these were the kind of bandits who would beat you nearly to death and take everything you possessed. When the Samaritan found the man, the man wasn't just needing money: he was dying and had no possible way to help himself.
rrruuunnn,
In your initial post you described a situation you were involved in that had the definite possibility to go bad. It didn't and everything turned out well. You asked for input on that situation.
My previous reply was less than helpful and served no constructive purpose. My bad, my apologies.
The fact is, I wasn't there. I don't know the terrain or your relative abilities and mindset at the time compared to that of your antagonist. All I could do is Monday morning quarterback and offer what I think I would do.
You've had quite a bit of input here and some time and distance from the situation, the smoke having cleared and you having the opportunity to reflect on what went down.
You had a "life lesson" that turned out okay and could prove very valuable in the future.
In answer to your original question posed to everyone, "what would you do?", I suppose the best response I can come up with is another question:
"Knowing what you know now, and the experience you gained, what would you do next time?"
In your initial post you described a situation you were involved in that had the definite possibility to go bad. It didn't and everything turned out well. You asked for input on that situation.
My previous reply was less than helpful and served no constructive purpose. My bad, my apologies.
The fact is, I wasn't there. I don't know the terrain or your relative abilities and mindset at the time compared to that of your antagonist. All I could do is Monday morning quarterback and offer what I think I would do.
You've had quite a bit of input here and some time and distance from the situation, the smoke having cleared and you having the opportunity to reflect on what went down.
You had a "life lesson" that turned out okay and could prove very valuable in the future.
In answer to your original question posed to everyone, "what would you do?", I suppose the best response I can come up with is another question:
"Knowing what you know now, and the experience you gained, what would you do next time?"
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blackcash88
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rrruuunnn said:
Uh, yeah, nice mindset Mr. Bleeding Heart.
People like you keep these people in their ruts so they will continue to harass others. Thanks a pant load, dude.
blackcash88
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mljdeckard said:
So, how many two dollar bills did you have? Five would have been adequate.
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