Personal Responsibility - Self Check

[Good Ol' Boy]

This is just my opinion, my thoughts on the subject. If you feel different by all means share but I'd like for this not to get heated.

My wife's mother passed away suddenly yesterday morning. I rushed home from work and before we left to go to her parents house and asked her for her EDC. She was obviously beyond distracted, and I wasn't thinking about her doing something self harming, but rather her completely forgetting that she was carrying a gun. She gave it to me with no issue and after the fact today thanked me for doing so.

It got me thinking about not only keeping track of our loved ones who carry but also ourselves. Make no mistake I was heartbroken about the whole situation, but was not IMHO anywhere as near distraught by the circumstances as she was.

If something were to ever happen to an immediate family member of mine I would without question stow my gun. Personally I don't think most folks would be in the state of mind to devote the attention to carrying a gun that it truly requires. I know I wouldn't.


Just food for thought.

 

[SamT1]

If your carrying a gun it should be second nature and not be affected by anything emotional.

 

[WestKentucky]

My condolences, and I am in agreement on principle. In reality there is more reason to come to arms in my family when something significant happens as some members of the extended family have taken to the illigetimate pharmaceuticals available in the area, and have on multiple occasions broken into and stolen from family members who were either dieing or others visiting the failing person. Call me crazy, but when I have reason to believe that these crazy cousins may be prowling I am up my carry because if they are brazen enough to steal from family, they are probably willing to harm others to get what they want.

When the fecal matter hits the rotary air circulation device my pocket guns go away and my big boys come out to play. M9 with 2 extra 16rd mags. That's 49 rds of 9mm fury.

 

[jmr40]

I think this is a good point that should be considered. I also don't think there is a single correct answer for everyone. But you knew the situation and if you felt it was the right thing to do at the moment then you did right.

 

[nettlle]

I have never carried into our families homes. I have never felt the need to. My condolences for your loss.

 

[Walkalong]

You didn't give her much credit for being able to handle her emotions or the situation.

If your carrying a gun it should be second nature

Yep.

Anyway, some people handle stress and loss better than others, and some people should never carry at all, but it is still a free country.

 

[Trunk Monkey]

I carry a gun just like I carry a wallet and a cell phone, every time I walk out the door. If I can't be trusted to carry a gun during a family emergency how can I be trusted to carry it when two crackheads try to rob me in the parking lot in the middle of the night?

I recommend some stress inoculation training

 

[Armored farmer]

My sympathy to your family.

I have to pay close attention to my carry habits. I cant just 'put it on and forget it' as some claim.
I have kids in school.
I have little grandkids.
I have family members that play music in bars and wineries.
Im a fireman.
...just a short list of reasons that i need an empty console in the car and trucks.

 

[9mmfan]

Do what you gotta do.
Do what is right for the situation.
You can ask, we can all shout out to the heavens.
Every instance is a moment unto itself.
Sorry for the loss to you and your family.

 

[Milt1]

Good Ol Boy, I've seen many of your post and your replies to various posts as well and to me and perhaps many others in THR you're a friend! I think you instinctually knew how to handle the situation and that showed a lot of empathy for your wife's feelings. Sorry to hear that you've lost your mother-in-law!

 

[Deus Machina]

If your carrying a gun it should be second nature and not be affected by anything emotional.

True, but emotions mess with a lot of habits and natural everyday things.
If my mom passed and no one reminded me, I'm leaving the house without it on my hip. If it already was, it's going right through the 'no weapons' signs at the hospital.
Not because I would think any different, just that it puts absolutely any other thoughts on the back burner and turns the knob off.

Good Ol' Boy, you earned your name.

 

[Good Ol' Boy]

...

 

[Steve S.]

Death is sad, emotional and stressful. Imposing death upon another human being with your firearm is really sad, emotional and stressful.

 

[Hokkmike]

Each person is different and to know him or her and the attendant emotional make-up is important. If my wife passed and my kids or whomever asked for temporary custody of my gun(s) I would be very offended. I do know some people, however, and wonder if they might act irresponsibly and possibly harm themselves when overcome by emotion. The real question is not that though. It is; when do I have a a right to intercede? I don't want to be a model, start a trend, or demonstrate a precedent that less scrupulous individuals might employ to disarm somebody.

 

[danez71]

I think this is a good point that should be considered. I also don't think there is a single correct answer for everyone. But you knew the situation and if you felt it was the right thing to do at the moment then you did right.

I'm going with this.

Driving is 2nd nature to most adults but there are times when someone is so distraught / distracted that they shouldn't drive, imo. Carrying a gun isn't going to be more of a 2nd nature than driving to anyone (ok, maybe 1 in 40 eleven million)

I had a coworker many yrs ago that got some bad news (husband in terrible car accident and ended up surviving but they weren't so sure at the time he would).

She was visibly upset and shaky. I didn't want her to drive her to the hospital so I drove her and told her to call me when she needed to get her car.

 

[buck460XVR]

If your carrying a gun it should be second nature and not be affected by anything emotional.

^^ I have to tend to agree, altho I think it can depend on the person and the situation. But it comes down to overall owner responsibility. Like not carrying when you are under the influence. Still, why is carrying a gun(as a EDC) any different than driving a car when distraught or going to the bank to get some cash under the same scenario? Yes, I'm sure there are some that cannot handle grief very well, but as with carrying a EDC anytime, it comes down to one's comfort level. If you are experienced and not comfortable carrying, odds are, you shouldn't.

 

[Trunk Monkey]

I'm going with this.

Driving is 2nd nature to most adults but there are times when someone is so distraught / distracted that they shouldn't drive, imo. Carrying a gun isn't going to be more of a 2nd nature than driving to anyone (ok, maybe 1 in 40 eleven million)

I had a coworker many yrs ago that got some bad news (husband in terrible car accident and ended up surviving but they weren't so sure at the time he would).

She was visibly upset and shaky. I didn't want her to drive her to the hospital so I drove her and told her to call me when she needed to get her car.

Operating a motor vehicle in traffic is not the same as carrying a holstered firearm. If you can't trust yourself not to remember that it's not OK to pull out your firearm and pop off a few during times of emotional distress maybe you need to rethink carrying at all.

 

[Sistema1927]

I am sorry for your family's loss.

Nobody here knows your wife as well as you do. If that is what you thought the situation required, then nobody here should try to second guess you.

 

[Glockula]

I think being under acute emotional distress is a great reason to not drive or carry a gun. Blinded by pain, like a kidney stone in the first hour or two is in there as well .

Losing a parent or child suddenly is not akin to the kind of stress you will be under in a hostile situation. If you have trained properly the training should take over IMHO

Kudos for taking care of your wife .

 

[Carl N. Brown]

I have had two surgeries in the spring of 2017, and one surgey in the spring of this year. I did not drive a car, handle firearms, reload ammunition, etc. until I was fully recovered and completely clear of painkillers (which dull pain and also mess with reflexes, attention and judgement).

 

[danez71]

Operating a motor vehicle in traffic is not the same as carrying a holstered firearm. If you can't trust yourself not to remember that it's not OK to pull out your firearm and pop off a few during times of emotional distress maybe you need to rethink carrying at all.

That's not what the OP was talking about nor was I.

From the OP

.....her completely forgetting that she was carrying a gun.

She could forget and carry in a restricted area, for example, which is vastly different than your example of forgetting that "it's not OK to pull out your firearm and pop off a few during times of emotional distress".

 

[ontarget]

Right, wrong, doesn't matter. You were looking out for a loved one. That can't be the wrong thing to do ever.

 

[Hasaf]

Many years ago a friend of mine asked me to come over and pick up his guns. He was in a rough patch with a divorce, and other issues. A couple of years later he was in a better place and asked for his guns back. I gave them back.

Yes, a boring story; but, other than the fact that the transaction mentioned would now be illegal, those stories should be boring, with no tragic ending. Helping, with no ill intent, is the right thing to do and should never be prohibited by law (oops, descending into rant mode, sorry).

 

[GBExpat]

... before we left to go to her parents house and asked her for her EDC. She was obviously beyond distracted, and I wasn't thinking about her doing something self harming, but rather her completely forgetting that she was carrying a gun. ...

Good for you. You know her best.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[huntsman]

My only concern would be forgetting I’m armed and walk through a metal detector( hospital ) but I wouldn’t give up my gun just because of an emotional or stressful situation.