Rate my reaction

[DingoDog]

This incident happened on Friday morning on the way to work.

My wife and I were carpooling to work and stopped at the gas station to fill up and get some coffee. We stop in about 2 or 3 times a week and it is always the same nice attendant behind the counter. He knows us pretty well and always asks about our dog.

As we pull in, we both notice a junker car with 1 guy in the passenger seat and 2 people in back. We see another guy walk from the car to a woman filling her car and from her body language can tell he is saying something that is intimidating her. She stops pumping gas, gets in her car quickly and is moving before we are stopped at the pump.

My wife and I look at each other and are both thinking they are panhandling for gas money. We both get out of the car at the same time, her to go get the coffee and me to start pumping gas. The guy from the car tries to stop my wife, but she ignores him and goes into the station.

The guy gets into the drivers side, pulls out a forty ouncer of beer and takes a long drink. He says something to the passenger who takes a drink, then gets out and comes over to me. (I've had my hand on my snubbie .38 since we got out of the car. My wife had her .380.)

He comes over and gives me a story about them being out of money and gas and asks for money. I politely say no. He then starts cussing and saying I should **** help people who need it. (Here is the only real mistake I believe that I made) I replied to that that I don't have a lot of sympathy for people who can afford to buy beer when they're driving but not gas. This, of course, led into another tirade of cursing and yelling. He then started to walk away and said we'll see about that.

My nerves went about 3 feet of my body as he went over to the car and reached under the seat. He looked over his shoulder at me and yelled what the **** are you looking at. I ignored the yell, but kept watching.

The tank was filled and I put on the gas cap and started walking toward the station, still watching his reflection in the glass. As I got ready to enter, I heard him yell "don't rat me out!" and he started running toward me.

I entered and told the clerk to call the police. As the other guy enters, he yells to the clerk not to listen to me, because I'm sleeping with his girlfriend and he's just trying to get me to stop. At this, the clerk, my wife and I all start laughing at him. The clerk then tells the guy to get off the station property. They guy sees us all laughing at him, runs back out to the car and they take off like a bat out of hell.

I never pulled my gun, but had it ready to draw with my finger just outside the trigger guard when he reached under the seat of the car.

I was a little annoyed with my wife, who has had a CCW longer than I have for not notifying the clerk when she went in and keeping an eye on what was happening outside.

 

[Devonai]

9.5 out of 10. Excellent poise and reaction.

 

[Sharpie1]

You did great.

TD

 

[c_yeager]

Asside from letting him no what you thought of him you did just fine. Its best not to aggravate guys like this because it just excaltes the situation. Of course that is a WAY easier thing to say than to do. I think you did great.

 

[Jack19]

As others have mentioned, editorializing is tempting (I know exactly the feeling that brings you to do it) but tends to escalate the situation. Other than that, you did great.

I tend to confuse them with a "No thanks," when they ask for money. You should see the looks on some faces. lol

 

[JJohnston015]

About the only criticism I can think of is you let yourself and your wife get separated. Not necessarily a mistake, but you knew when you stopped that something might be up.

 

[newman32]

I'd say nice job.

The only thing that I can think of in hindsight is...if you saw the junk car, saw shady guys inside w/o driver, shady guy disturbing woman patron as you pulled up - why not listen to your gut feeling (you DID notice all of that) and just drive on to the next gas/coffee stop instead of putting yourself into the situation in the first place? We all will try to avoid questionable situations on the street when something doesn't "feel" right, so why not when in a car?

Just a thought.

Glad you and yours are safe.

 

[Penforhire]

I'm with newman32, IMHO you did great but driving to another station would be even better, considering you had not yet set up pumping.

 

[Horsesense]

You walked out in the open whole that guy was acting frogie. Was it possible to drive to the front door to pick up the wife?

 

[Double Naught Spy]

What were you thinking???? As you drive into the gas area, you see some guy obviously harrass another patron and you notice he has scared her. Not only that, you know he is there with a car load of buddies and that he does not leave the area after the other patron leaves. Why in the world would you stop and get gas there? Stopping in a perceived dangerous situation is not good.

You do stop and allow your wife to go into the store unattended and the bad guy approaches and tries to stop her. Why did you do nothing to come to her aid? While I realize she can probably take care of herself, she is still your signifiant other and probably one of the most precious things in your life. Letting her go in alone was not good.

Why did your wife leave you alone? What was she thinking? Like you, she knows the score and she left you unattended to fend for yourself should the bad guy and/or his buddies confront you. Leaving you alone was not a good idea.

So the guy begs you for money and you turn him down. That was fine. While perfectly within your rights to tell the guy your opinion on his situation, this was a very bad idea as you had then given the guy fodder and justification for pressing the argument. Had you ignored him, he might have lost the drive to pursue you as he lost it when your wife ignored him. So, after all previous lapses in judgment, you antagonized the guy. Knowing he was mad, escalating the situation was very bad. It was in your rights, but very bad.

Probably the largest mistake here was condemning your wife for not performing in a manner that you felt she should have performed. So that would be the, "While I made mistake after mistake in a dangerous situation and failed to provide you with any insight into how I would like/expect you to act, you failed to do what I expected. Bad wife. Bad!"

So you drove into a bad situation you knew existed. Why did you not communicate a plan with your wife as to what should be done if things went poorly?

You can't expect others to be there to save your butt when you are doing things knowingly that put your butt in danger.

So, since you were upset with your wife for her poor performance, did you also apologize to her for your poor performance?

From a legal perspective, you did fine. From a macho manly perspective, you did fine. From a real-life confrontation perspective where your life might be on the line, you did nothing to reduce the amount of risk or danger to you beyond putting your hand on your gun in your pocket. In this regard, you did poorly.

 

[Bob F.]

You did OK. Should have had the wife stay close. I'd have stopped, it's my regular place, the guy inside OK? He's a neighbor, sorta. If it had actually been me/us-probably would have told the wife: "come around behind the car with me, bring your purse (SP101)". We'd have gone in for coffee and to pay together.

A few years ago coming home from a trip we stopped for groceries in a neighboring city 'cause it was convenient to the Interstate. As we exited the store in a shopping center, we both stopped, looked around and she said "I'll carry the groceries, you keep your hand free". We did, and left without incident. Never knew exactly what set us both off.