When I ask brand new shooters to tell me what they think the rules of safe shooting might be, they often say "keep the safety on".
Of course there are several versions of firearms safety rules, (NRA, NSSF, Gunsight, etc.) but none to my knowledge include "keep the safety on". There's a reason for this: all rely on operator actions, not mechanical components, to ensure safe shooting.
NRA curriculum makes it clear that safeties are mechanical devices and mechanical devices fail, and that safe shooting depends on the actions of the shooter, not on the proper function of any "safety" devices built into the gun. The NSSF is even clearer: their third safety rule is "Don't Rely On Your Gun's 'Safety'"!
I think that Gunsite's version of the safety rules is the best fit for those who carry loaded firearms for defense:
1) All guns are always loaded,
2) never point your muzzle at anything that you do not wish to destroy,
3) keep your finger off the trigger until your sights are on the target, and
4) always be sure of your target.
Note that these are all operator actions. When used with a properly designed and maintained firearm, they will lead to safe shooting.
OP, note that having your safety unintentionally slip to the fire position during carry doesn't violate any of Gunsite's four rules. However, being "spooked" when the safety unintentionally disengages, and being "uncomfortable" carrying a cocked 1911-style pistol with the safety dis-engaged is a little voice whispering to you that you should probably reconsider your equipment and how you use it. BTW, for what's it worth, I wouldn't be comfortable having a safety lever unintentionally disengage on a cocked 1911-style handgun with a round in the chamber, either, especially when that gun doesn't have a grip safety.
Sometimes, as shooters, we decide to carry a gun that we "shoot well", without thinking through every aspect of the use of that particular firearm.
I suggest that you go back to the basics, and think about all of your daily actions that involve your gun and about the characteristics of the equipment (gun, holster, ammo, etc.) that you've selected. After you rethink things, you might come to the conclusion that what you're doing adequately protects you and those around you. On the other hand, maybe you'll decide to make some changes to your equipment or to your carry protocol.
Regardless of the conclusions that you reach, at the very least, the process of thinking things through one more time will be worthwhile.
I'll tell you the analogy that I kept in my mind while I personally went through this thought process: carrying a loaded gun is like having a full-grown, angry, wild poisonous snake in a cage on my hip. The snake is ready to strike at an instant's notice, but I'm the one who controls when it comes out of its cage and where it strikes. When it does come out, I know that there's a possibility that somebody (maybe somebody I love) is going to get bitten or die, and that somebody could go to jail. I put layers of protections in place to make sure that the snake doesn't slip out or strike except when I'm sure that I want it to.
My gun has all its fangs and venom in place. I carry a full-sized striker-fired pistol IWB in good leather designed just for this gun, with a round in the chamber. My gun does NOT have an external safety lever. However, everything I do to or with that gun is carefully and consciously developed to keep the snake in its cage unless I consciously choose to let it out. I've developed a set of daily habits that make sure that I ALWAYS obey the rules of safe shooting defined above, but which allow me to draw and engage a deadly threat if I am forced to use the gun to defend myself (or to perforate a rampaging sheet of paper or to ring the bell on an obstinate steel plate).
It sounds to me that you need to develop a set of daily habits that ALWAYS "keep your snake in its cage" unless you decide that it should come out. Personally, I believe that you may also need to make some changes to the cage or to get a new snake. The sooner you do this, the better.